Children's party, lunch etiquette

[FisherThem]

Mum to DD4, just starting the round of while class parties. Went to a soft play party, 1230-1430, lunch included.

Was I being unreasonable to assume that there would be some refreshments for parents as well as kids?

Also started to read your responses to others, you couldn't budget a meal at a soft play for yourself, which is entirely reasonable, especially the current economic climate, but you went expecting the parents to be catering for the kids and adults?!? I think that's a bit rich.
Also jam sandwiches are very typical for kids and kids parties

Then you clearly did NOTread that I was only asking what the norm was and I've learnt.

Marmite sandwiches all the way....

You didn’t like the responses and your second query is to try and anonymously humiliate the host with their sandwich fillings.

Classy or what 🤣🤣

You can't afford their prices but expect the host to?
As an adult and at that time you didn't need a 'meal' surely a piece of cake would see you through?

The invite is addressed to your child, not to you. So it's obvious that "lunch included" is for the children. The adults bringing the children and taking them home are not invited to the party, so not included in the lunch.

Humiliate, really? It was a genuine question as I have never seen a jam sandwich!

I now consider myself educated. But still unlikely to offer them.

And you need to take some comments as tongue in cheek....

This tends to divide people!

I never assume that I’m going to be fed / given drinks at parties like these, as a parent. I assume I’ll need to buy tea and a snack if I want that.

On the flip side, I would never not provide (so pay for) tea and coffee and a tray of sandwiches or similar for any staying parents myself. Not a whole meal but something, and never solely something sweet. Especially if it’s around lunchtime like your party.

Obviously also offer round anything decent leftover from the kids too (there’s usually some spare pizza, chips etc)

A different country ...... but jam sandwiches are very normal here. Usually for breakfast, a sandwich with jam or chocolate spread (like Nutella but much better) on regular bread - or could be a croissant or a piece of baguette. (For lunch usually something savoury, ham, cheese, salami etc.)

The adult food/drink and soft play is often overpriced and there is no way I could afford to buy drinks for 20 plus adults at £3 each. Most parents at soft play parties i have been to buy there own refreshments but if there is a buffet there is usually food left over which the adults usually eat.

The etiquette around here is that hall or home parties, some nibbles are laid on for the parents. Some —posh— people even provide wine and beer (not me, I’m too tight for anything more than a few bags of Kettle Chips and some naice biscuits).

At soft play, most parents run a tab for adults to get a hot drink, and generally the parents just hoover up any food the kids don’t eat.

You can’t afford their prices yet genuinely expected party host to feed guests AND their parents?!

All this in spades!

@FisherThem - the late Queen always used to have jam sandwiches at tea time - they were cut into circles, and called jam pennies.

Yes YABU. Just eat before or after… or if it’s soft play then eat there. I have been to sooooo many kids parties and can count on one hand the number that have had a snack or drink for parents.

YABU / at kids’ parties the norm is to cater for kids, not parents. They are usually only 2-3 hours long so you can eat before/after - and venues like soft play usually sell food and drink.

When we hold a soft play party I always open a tab for teas and coffees but I don’t provide food for adults. Though generally there’s enough cake for parents too.

I never expect to be catered for at parties.

No not normal for the parents to be fed at parties. My daughters is 1-3pm and I’m just putting tea, coffee and bottled water out for the parents.

And also doing jam sandwiches for the kids, it’s easy and caters to almost all allergies. There’s been jam sandwiches at every party I’ve been to with the kids and my eldest is 12.

YABU. I wouldn’t find jam for children odd and I would never expect to be fed at a child’s party, especially at a soft play. Children’s parties are for the children and surely adults can eat before or after?

I find this extra cheeky of you when you yourself said you couldn’t afford a meal there, and yet you find it odd they didn’t cater to how many parents?! Also the hosts have no idea how many parents will show up. Some will have one, some will have two.

The schools I went to in the 90's certainly did allow them. I can't remember any policing of lunch boxes at all.

Marmite is also VILE and most children hate the stuff. This thread is just annoying now. Find something better to pick on and be grateful your child was invited and fed?

Depending, where you live soft play parties can be really expensive. People normally cater for the kids. I've been to some where adults have been fed as well or have been able to order drinks at the canteen on the hosts tab. I've also been to parties that have had no adult food. Where I live soft play is £15 per child including 2 nuggest, chips, sliced veg fruit and squash. Its a lot of money if someone's invited a whole class.

I don’t believe them either.

Is it supposed to make them look good in some way? 🤷🏻‍♀️Weird.

There was a post recently where the child was invited to a party and the parent was expected to pay their entry, food and drink. The "host" hadn't even made it clear before the invitation was excepted. So it honesty could be worse.