Children's party, lunch etiquette

[FisherThem]

Mum to DD4, just starting the round of while class parties. Went to a soft play party, 1230-1430, lunch included.

Was I being unreasonable to assume that there would be some refreshments for parents as well as kids?

Sweet foods like toast?

Sweet foods like toast?

😂😂

I know. I did say there was no logic, just experience.

And I'm not breaking my jam sandwich virginity now.

Sounds like you would have if you’d been offered one 🤣

This really reads like you’re looking for a reason to criticise people who have hosted quite an expensive and presumably enjoyable event for your child.

Then please read what I've said before judging. I wanted to understand the norms for next time.

TBH, I don't think many adults eat jam sandwiches!

I don't understand how you don't already know the norms though. Nothing has changed since you were going to parties growing up.

Have you honestly made it to 44 and not heard of a PB and J??

You're missing out. Food of gods.

Well, they gave in terms of experience. Soft play was not a thing when I was 4 in 1982.

Soft play might not have been a thing but regardless of the venue neither was catering to parents. The venue doesn't change the fact children's parties usually only provide food for the actual guest, aka the children this is not some new concept and I'm genuinely amazed for someone who grew up in the UK that this came as a shock to you?

The real problem here is a lack of communication.
Not all parents have been brought up in the UK, or maybe their children have not attended many parties.
I think this is a learning curve for when hosting a kids party whether at home or at a centre such as soft play, it is obviously a good idea to make it clear on the invitation, whether siblings are included ( see many other threads), or whether parents can/should/are expected to stay, and whether any refreshments, be it tea or coffee, or anything else will be provided for parents, or whether there is a cafe / seating area, where parents can wait and buy themselves coffee.
As well as an end time (which some hosts forget).

So you can't afford the lunch at a soft play party but you think the parents of the birthday child should pay for 20 kids plus 20 adults lunches? So rude and entitled.

I have only ever been to one soft play party and it never entered my mind that the parents would buy me lunch.

I brought a drink for all parents at dd6 soft play party this year - tea coffee or can cold drinm

And obv lunch for all kids

Not parents

And love a jam Sarnie or jam on toast

Dd has jam today for her lunch at holiday club

I'm properly craving a jam sandwich now!

Guys, guys, GUYS!! This is why there are threads about “what has happened to Mumsnet, why are people so antsy?”! I mean, the OP asked a question about kids party food and it’s developed into a disagreement about jam sandwiches. Why can’t there just be some advice dispensed based on people’s anecdotal experience and be done with it?!

OP, on things like kids parties, I’d recommend you use existing Mumsnet threads as a source of research beforehand. I spent more time that I’d like perusing some existing threads for advice before DD’s birthday party last month, about people’s expectations, what to do and not to do etc. Served me much better than actually asking for suggestions directly, when I got accused of abuse for throwing her a party and not giving her all of her presents in one go, spreading them across a few days instead, but you live and learn.

I don't think it is a lack of communication so much as peoples entitlement - for the avoidance of doubt and the summary of most threads are: siblings are not welcome (unless you are told otherwise) and adults lunches will not be provided.

I tend to provide a drink and a pastry to parents but I would never ever state that on the invite.

I’d have been surprised to be invited over lunch and not be fed/it be clearly pointed out that I’d have the option of using the cafe, at my first soft play party over 12:30-2:30, because up to that point I’d been used to being the person invited, with my first kid being my plus-one/tag along for so long and it’s a readjustment to not be catered for/start the demotion to driver/carer-type role! I think I had a softer introduction to the norms, just by chance.

You do get used to it, soon you’ll be able to drop your child off, and it’s perfectly reasonable to ask here about others’ interpretations of current social norms. No one’s born knowing everything. And there is sometimes a surprisingly strong emotional response to not being catered for, in the context of motherhood when you’re always prioritising someone else. Not saying, of course! that that the hosts should have done anything differently, only that it’s ok to have feelings.

(My dad took a jam sandwich to work in his butty box every day when I was a child!)

Cheese and jam together in a sandwich, now that's the food of kings

Even better is dog poo sandwiches - Nutella on one slice, crunchy peanut butter on the other. Does look like literal shit tho!

This is a pretty funny thread, someone brought up in the UK who's never heard of jam sandwiches and someone else who reckons schools banned them in the 90s?! What kind of school did you go to? Everyone had Sunny Delights, biscuits and chocolate bars, no one cared about jam sandwiches and I don't know of any schools where they're banned now!

You wanted to sit round the table and eat sausage rolls with a bunch of six year olds? 🤔

No thanks, I'll take that opportunity to get coffee and a sandwich from the café.

Well they do now. They're a staple of my kids lunch box! He'd take peanut butter, which would be healthier but the school is nut free. He won't eat cheese (unless pizza) or deli meats.

Try jam on crusty white bread. Gorgeous!

@LuvSmallDogs

That sounds delicious but the name has ruined it for me!