Flexible working revoked - help!!

[Tiredofbeingtired1]

Looking for a sounding board for a problem I'm having at work. Not sure what to do really...

So, I had a baby and returned after a 9 month maternity leave, but when my son was 5 months old, I discussed my return to work with my boss (male).

(I work as a PA for two people who own and run the company)

I asked to return to work 5 days a week, but to work 2 days from home and also if I could leave at 4.30pm instead of my contracted finish of 5pm in order to pick up my son from nursery. I was told that none of this was a problem and that I didn't need to be in when my boss wasn't in (he also worked 3 days a week in the office).

So I returned to work with this set up and did absolutely everything to make this work, which included working through lunch breaks and responding to emails from 6am-10pm 7 days a week.

After 8 months of this being in place, I was told (in the middle of the office, not privately) that they were going to need to ask me to return to the office 4 days a week as they couldn't give me something they weren't giving to the rest of the staff. I was assured that this had nothing to do with my performance as they know I'm working all the time, but purely to do with what other people in the office are allowed.

I had many discussions with them about the impact of this on me, and that it would cost me almost an extra £400 in childcare costs per month, to which I was told effectively that if I can't afford to have kids, I shouldn't have them.

At this point, two other women were having their working from home revoked, but they had had it for 11 and 14 years, and their children were in secondary school by this point.

In the discussions for this, my boss (female) had suggested to me that on the extra day I was being asked to work in the office, I could leave early. This was purely her idea and was even suggesting around lunchtime.

After all my protests, I was told they would get back to me...however 5 months later nobody had. As this was being requested to start in September, I approached my boss (female) last week to discuss it before my holiday, and her holiday. She seemed surprised, but thankful that I had put the wheels in motion and was making this happening and agreed that it had kind of been forgotten about (not by me, I can assure you!). When I then raised her idea of leaving early on the extra day in the office, she didn't seem to recall this conversation and actually seemed quite annoyed by it, asking "how early?". I suggested 3.30pm instead of 4.30pm, and as I could see that this request wasn't going down well, I suggested it be for the first 3 weeks to help my son settle in (as this also coincides with him moving to preschool).

She then said that we need to review my leaving at 4.30pm on other days, and would I be willing to leave at 5pm (my contracted time) instead. I said that it wasn't a case of being willing, but that if I left at that time, I wouldn't be able to make it to the nursery before they shut. She seemed in disbelief that it would take me that long to get home, but I pointed out that whilst Google might suggest it is an hour, that is if I hit all my connections and there is no traffic. In practice, this is never the case, and it it always takes me around 1 hour 20 mins.

Her reasoning for asking me to leave at 5pm was again, for parity across the office, but also in case her or my other boss need something urgent between 4.30-5pm. Whilst I understand this, in practice I don't think this is actually the case, as all day I am asked for very little and I am the proactive one asking if they need things all the time. I can't believe that something urgent would be regularly happening in the last 30 mins of the day.

She also said that if they finish a meeting after 4.30pm and I am gone, they might need something, and it's not fair on other members of staff as it puts more pressure on them. Whilst this is true, I have been back through the diaries and in the 201 days I have worked back in the office, they have had meetings that have gone beyond 4.30pm 18 times. Also, they have never had someone come to the office for a meeting that starts after 4.30pm.

Therefore I feel that this isn't a reflection of what actually happens. I can't believe that they ask for very little all day, but in that last 30 mins something urgent comes up. She also acknowledged that I am on email my whole journey home, but it's if something happens that I am needed in person. She accepted the fact I work through my lunch, and from early morning until late evening on emails, but that it was not about total hours worked.

For context, my company are very anti flexible working. I joined 3 days before lockdown in 2020, and went on maternity leave in July 2021, so had spent a massive amount of my employment working from home. They are on a drive to get people back to the office and don't want anyone working from home. They recently conducted a staff survey, and in that almost every member of the office requested more flexibility with working from home. Therefore they are begrudgingly reviewing it, but it seems they are missing the point that flexible working doesn't have to be the exact same conditions for everyone and that it is a case by case scenario.

I am unsure as to whether I am being unreasonable, or if not, how hard to push on this - especially given that I was told by my boss (male) that he asked if he could get rid of me when I told him I was pregnant!!

We are a small team and don't have an official HR department. We recently just got a freelance HR person in, but I'm unsure as to how much I trust them yet. Also, in my capacity as a PA I work very closely with my bosses and maintaining a good relationship is important. I'm not trying to rock the boat or get special privileges, but it's hard to make things work when the agreement keeps changing. I returned to work based on certain conditions and I set my life up around them.

Any advice would be so gratefully received as it is keeping me up at night!

Thank you!

Are you paid from 4.30? I would have asked to finish at 4.30 and have it formally part of your hours, eg just lose the pay.

Can you move dc to a nursery nearer work? That worked for us on office days.

Ah! Just reassuring you weren't the only one thinking like this. Not that any one needs reassurance for that!

It really doesn’t. It sounds like an informal arrangement with the employer choosing to help out the OP with no official arrangement in place. They are now just asking her to return to the terms of her employment contract. Legally the employer has done absolutely nothing wrong.

Look for a virtual PA role.

Answering emails 7 days a week 6am-10pm, this isn't healthy even if they did allow you to wfh and to leave 30min early as you don't have a lunch break. Look for something else. I don't do the same role as you but there are people I work with who do and we are 100% wfh if we want to be, we also have flexible working, plus a wellbeing hour we can use each week to do whatever we need to. We only have meetings until 5pm one day a week and we never have 9am meetings, 9.30am earliest. I do compressed hours over 4 days so we generally don't have meetings on my non-working day, if they are on that day my equivalent attends and then fills me in.

You really do need to look for another job, they clearly don't want to try to accommodate you, they can find someone else who is willing to sit replying to emails 24/7.

I hope your partner is asking for flexible working too. If more men took on parental roles this would not be such an issue in the workplace. It shouldn’t always fall to the mother.

However, I think you need to change jobs because they do not sound like they want flexible working anymore.

It sounds like an informal arrangement with the employer choosing to help out the OP with no official arrangement in place. They are now just asking her to return to the terms of her employment contract. Legally the employer has done absolutely nothing wrong.

Exactly.

There are issues on both sides.

OP's employer has not handled the arrangements well.

OP is being excessive in her expectations. I would also not be happy to agree to flexible working conditions that entailed a staff member working from 6 am - 10 pm, in whatever capacity. That's no good for anyone.

OP, time to find a new role, that you can agree working conditions with at the outset.

Look for another job. They can ask you to work however they want you to work effectively (though they do t sound like they are doing it via any sort of decent HR procedure). It's not going to work for you and they aren't going to compromise and do you want to work for them anyway after all this?

This.

This is why you need everything in writing. They're messing you around!

Look for another job. There are plenty of flexible jobs out there

Speak to ACAS. I worked for large financial company who tried to change my flexible working agreement, I spoke to ACAS who told me they couldn’t do it without my consent and that due to my job role and the size of our company, they’d be hard pressed to justify it.

I appreciate your job will be different and the size of your company will also differ however ACAS were very helpful.

1. stop being on your emails all evening, they don’t pay you anywhere near enough to compensate for that. They don’t value you or appreciate it, they just take it for granted.
2. start looking for another job, it’s not the processes and policy’s that need to change, it’s their attitude and that never will.
3. look on here https://remote-jobs.com/

The difference is it sounds like you have an official flexible working agreement? The OP has nothing agreed in writing.

I agree with others, you should look for something else. It's also not reasonable for you to be available and emailing all those additional hours in the evenings, presumably in time you're not contracted for?
My PA works flexibly, there are 2 days a week we dont cross over (her day off isn’t the same as mine). We sat down and figured out how to make it work. She's a good PA and I would rather she stays with me than disappears!

A simple "I can no longer afford to work here" may focus minds. In my experience many employers who have left the early childraising days behind simply can't comprehend the current cost and reduced number of childcare places that exist right now. Maybe they skim over that bit of the news.

I would look for another job. I can see it their way too. As soon as you leave at 3pm, there will be others wanting the same. If you get two days WFH, why can’t Julie whose been there 15 years have the same. 18 meetings finishing after 4.30pm is quite a lot, if they need you there, they need you there. I get it, it’s hard then. An hour and 20 minutes getting to nursery sounds insane. I would try and find something closer to nursery.

Don’t think you’re alone in this, every new Mum has had this kind of thing. In the end I gave up work, but I regret that too. There is no right thing to do.

Are you carefully avoiding saying you're WFH with a toddler? Because that is not acceptable in 99% of workplaces.

I read it that her child is in nursery on WFH days, but it is the hour and a half commute each way (3 hours a day) that she saves - and finishing at 4.30 because she works through her lunchbreak and later in the evening is perfectly reasonable in the vast vast majority of jobs.
I don't think she has said she is trying to look after the baby during the working day.
A lot of nurseries charge a premium for early mornings and lates so 9 hours a week of those could easily cost £400 a month.

I don't think it's unreasonable to expect people to work till 5pm in a role like yours

I also don't think it's unreasonable for you to want to work flexibly

Clearly you need a different job

Irrespective of what sort of a agreement you reach, surely they can’t keep chopping and changing?

And if the OP is asking to leave at 4.30pm some days, then I assume her pay is adjusted to reflect this? She’s.not getting a ‘free’ 30 mins?

So I returned to work with this set up and did absolutely everything to make this work, which included working through lunch breaks and responding to emails from 6am-10pm 7 days a week.

In fairness, if you’re having to do all this to make it work then it’s clearly not actually working is it?

What are you actually doing when you're picking up on emails 6am - 10pm? You won't be continuously working those hours as you're also doing your long commute, looking after your child etc in those hours.

I've had staff claim they're putting in extra hours (and resenting it!) but is it a case if your work genuinely being too much for your contracted hours, in which case your line manager needs to do something, or that you're working inefficiently, catching up later on because you're working whilst doing childcare or similar?

Where's the OP gone?!

Would be helpful to have a bit more info, like why will the new arrangement cost £400 more? If on the wfh days she hasn't had proper childcare in place for the full day, then I'm not surprised the boss wants her back in the office.

Also things like commutes and nursery pick up times ultimately aren't anything to do with the workplace- that's your issue.

Having said all this, it doesn't sound like it's working for you so why not look for other jobs?

Work out how much time and emails you have spent on average outside work hours in the last few months. Working through lunch cancels out leaving 30min early.

Suggest to them finding a new person who is office based for 5 days but who only works 9-5 will mean they are less flexible and do less work than you. They may decide the out of hours cover you provide they have “forgotten” about is more valuable to them.