Page 9 | Parent/teacher swearing at pupils

Passe · 2023-08-04T00:08:15+00:00

Still a bit gobsmacked by tonight's events so just wanted some rational thoughts as to what I should do. DD (15) has just come home from a party at a school friend's house. Large group of them, alcohol was available but parents were present. DD isn't particularly closely to the group at school but was pleased to be xx At one point a few of them disappeared and DD went to find them. They were all v drubk and smoking weed. One girl in particular was out of it and started vomiting. DD held back her hair and said they needed to get the girl back to her house (nearby). Not sure of the details but basically they got the girl home and the mum answered the door. She took one look at her DD and started screaming at all the friends "Fuck off you fucking little Cs; how dare you let my DD get like this...why the fuck didn't you stop her... you little fucks!!... etc etc...." This in itself isn't great, especially as this girl has form for getting obliterated, but the worst of it is that this woman is DD's teacher!!! Several witnesses, including another parent have verified what was said and whilst of course I get she was shocked and worried, also that this happened out of school; I am utterly appalled by her language. I did ask DD if the teacher realised it was her students she was ranting at and DD said absolutely. I'm not sure what to do now. DD is about to go into year 11 and is worried about any fallout or amniosity. from this teacher. It is a private school with small class sizes so no hiding from this woman! Another parent is going to raise a formal complaint but I'm not sure whether I just tell DD to keep her head down and obviously steer clear of any more parties with this girl. One positive is that it's shown my DD the dangers of getting paralytic, especially young girls. I hope

Rainiestsummer · 04/08/2023 16:06

ThrallsWife · 04/08/2023 15:50

For verbally abusing a child or children, which is what the OP said happened.

If anyone called any of us here a c*nt, then we'd quite rightfully be pulled up on it. According to the OP, the f-bomb was dropped twice and the c-bomb at least once. Directed at the kids.

My ex husband got pulled into a disciplinary for far less than that.

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We are talking at cross purposes. Your post replied to one saying that a teacher had sworn when students showed a video suggesting they were a paedophile. Different scenario

User56785 · 04/08/2023 16:06

That teacher was incredibly lucky. In my current and in my previous school, they would have faced, at best, a disciplinary resulting in a written warning and at worst been sacked for gross misconduct

You must work in shit schools.

User1990C · 04/08/2023 16:18

ThrallsWife · 04/08/2023 15:20

That teacher was incredibly lucky. In my current and in my previous school, they would have faced, at best, a disciplinary resulting in a written warning and at worst been sacked for gross misconduct

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Nope. You've never touched a scenario of firing someone in a school. If you think it's that easy, you're kidding yourself.

ThrallsWife · 04/08/2023 16:29

User1990C · 04/08/2023 16:18

Nope. You've never touched a scenario of firing someone in a school. If you think it's that easy, you're kidding yourself.

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Not wanting to derail the thread, but yes, I have absolutely seen how easy it is to fire a teacher in a school and have, sadly, had to see a few work friends and an ex partner through this process.

@Rainiestsummer Point taken, but yes. I have myself once received a warning for saying "shit" when dropping a valuable piece of equipment in front of a class. Not even at the students. Many years ago now.

Might be different in private, all of mine have been state schools/ academies in large towns and cities.

40andlovelife · 04/08/2023 16:29

Nope. You've never touched a scenario of firing someone in a school. If you think it's that easy, you're kidding yourself.

I once worked with a teacher who said ' for fucks sake' when a kid catapulted an elastic band at him. He was out. It must depend on the school/ academy trust

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 04/08/2023 16:36

Not wanting to derail the thread, but yes, I have absolutely seen how easy it is to fire a teacher in a school and have, sadly, had to see a few work friends and an ex partner through this process.

I've never known a teacher to be actually fired, but I have known many who have been 'managed out', constructively dismissed, bullied out or asked to leave. Some of those cases were justified, many weren't. Some of them were headteachers! I don't think it's at all easy to actually officially fire people.

PearlHandle · 04/08/2023 16:57

I once worked with a teacher who said ' for fucks sake' when a kid catapulted an elastic band at him. He was out. It must depend on the school/ academy trust

You would have to catapult the child to be out at the moment l

Josell12345 · 04/08/2023 22:50

I think given a worried parent wluld be asking the kids what happened and not swearing like a navvy at them. Legal age to drink at home is 5 so thats a no go. Id have a word tomorrow with mam and ask how daughter is and maybe say something about how her daughter was brought homeby friends and thats a responsible thing to do. And mention the words and phrases used by the mam, which are inappropriate, especiallygiven the kids are her pupils. Was she hammered too because the only time Id sound off to that extent would be if I was totally sloshed....actually I wouldnt but thats the only excuse I can think of.

Mummy08m · 04/08/2023 23:03

Josell12345 · 04/08/2023 22:50

I think given a worried parent wluld be asking the kids what happened and not swearing like a navvy at them. Legal age to drink at home is 5 so thats a no go. Id have a word tomorrow with mam and ask how daughter is and maybe say something about how her daughter was brought homeby friends and thats a responsible thing to do. And mention the words and phrases used by the mam, which are inappropriate, especiallygiven the kids are her pupils. Was she hammered too because the only time Id sound off to that extent would be if I was totally sloshed....actually I wouldnt but thats the only excuse I can think of.

Legal age to drink at home is 5 so thats a no go

That's a ridiculous oversimplification of the law.

Any alcohol given below 5 is illegal.
But that does not mean that giving (or enabling access of) any quantities of alcohol to children of over 5 is lawful...! It isn't, you can be prosecuted for endangerment, neglect, abuse, depending on the quantity and circumstances. Just to emphasise - if you are getting a 6yo drunk that is most certainly not considered ok under uk law.

If adults are enabling/encouraging under 16s to have excessive alcohol (and weed!) under their supervision, that absolutely could be cause for investigation by social services and perhaps police.

TheWayoftheLeaf · 05/08/2023 01:15

To be fair... why was your daughter at a party where alcohol is? Why were they drinking and smoking? What were the parents doing? Why was a child allowed to get in such a state if adults were there?

Swearing isn't a crime. Letting an underage child drink is.

wlana · 05/08/2023 01:42

I would advise you and your dd to keep the fuck out of this complete can of worms and get on with Y11, pretending that this didn’t happen. It only ends in tears for all concerned. Because every single person there was doing something wrong. The parents were idiots for allowing their house to be used for 15yos to party with alcohol, the kids know very well they are drinking underage and the teacher has aggressively sworn at kids, which could cost her her job. Not to mention the use of drugs, which could mean expulsion for all concerned. All parents have let their kids into this situation through ignorance or otherwise. I get that your dd has been called a fucking cunt by her teacher. She can put these angry words behind her for the sake of her education. The parent who is reporting it has been hasty. Nobody will come out of it well.

themodiste · 05/08/2023 01:54

Some of the replies on here defending the teacher are shocking. It's not that she swore that is the issue, it's that she swore AT kids, kids who she teaches! Using words as strong as calling them C's? 15 year olds? Who she is in a position of trust over! That is absolutely not okay in any circumstance in my opinion, and I would absolutely report to the school.

themodiste · 05/08/2023 01:57

justpushingthrough · 04/08/2023 08:48

To be honest i would go to the teachers door and ask her if her DD was alright, then explain your daughter was trying to help and you will not tolerate her being spoke to like that, i would go with a more concerned attitude for her daughter, not an angry one and take it from there.

Depending on her reaction/answer i would then decide whether to report it to the school.

This is sensible, I'd probably do this too.

Willyoujustbequiet · 05/08/2023 02:13

bluechameleon · 04/08/2023 08:56

I am a teacher, and I would absolutely report this. Part 2 of the Teacher Standards explicitly refers to behaviour inside and outside of school. This isn't just a teacher using bad language in front of random children, this is a teacher using highly offensive, aggressive and misogynistic language directly at children she teaches. There is no justification for that. Yes, she was worried about her daughter, but that doesn't excuse her losing all self-control. Would people be excusing her if she had hit them? Thrown things at them?

This. I would certainly be speaking to school.

I'm shocked at the minimising by some posters.

Mummy08m · 05/08/2023 02:15

wlana · 05/08/2023 01:42

I would advise you and your dd to keep the fuck out of this complete can of worms and get on with Y11, pretending that this didn’t happen. It only ends in tears for all concerned. Because every single person there was doing something wrong. The parents were idiots for allowing their house to be used for 15yos to party with alcohol, the kids know very well they are drinking underage and the teacher has aggressively sworn at kids, which could cost her her job. Not to mention the use of drugs, which could mean expulsion for all concerned. All parents have let their kids into this situation through ignorance or otherwise. I get that your dd has been called a fucking cunt by her teacher. She can put these angry words behind her for the sake of her education. The parent who is reporting it has been hasty. Nobody will come out of it well.

Very sensible and well explained imo. Op do not invite more trouble.

Mummy08m · 05/08/2023 02:19

themodiste · 05/08/2023 01:54

Some of the replies on here defending the teacher are shocking. It's not that she swore that is the issue, it's that she swore AT kids, kids who she teaches! Using words as strong as calling them C's? 15 year olds? Who she is in a position of trust over! That is absolutely not okay in any circumstance in my opinion, and I would absolutely report to the school.

Op can't have it both ways. If her dd is "only" 15, too young and innocent to cope with a swearword, then she sure as hell is too young to be getting very drunk and smoking weed, or at least attending parties where this is happening.

Op reckons her dd is old enough to drink at a party where others are getting very drunk and smoking weed.

Play stupid games, etc.

I'd infinitely prefer my dd started swearing than started smoking weed. Yes, even the c word.

ConsuelaHammock · 05/08/2023 02:39

I wouldn’t report a teacher for swearing. Is she not allowed to swear on her own property? I’d be more worried about 15 year old having access to alcohol and weed tbh.

echt · 05/08/2023 02:56

Would people be excusing her if she had hit them? Thrown things at them?

No need for the frothy hyperbole. She did none of these things.

MexterDorgan · 05/08/2023 03:06

echt · 05/08/2023 02:56

Would people be excusing her if she had hit them? Thrown things at them?

No need for the frothy hyperbole. She did none of these things.

But it was abusive nonetheless.

echt · 05/08/2023 03:18

I was critiquing the ramping up of the situation with hyperbolic whataboutery by @bluechameleon

RiotC · 05/08/2023 03:30

Just so you know, (safeguarding/Slt wise) if you reported this about one of my teachers, my main concern would be the parents/house where they were smoking weed. I can't imagine anything other than a conversation (and if it were me a sympathetic one happening with sweary teacher).

Somewhereovertherainbowweighapie · 05/08/2023 03:32

themodiste · 05/08/2023 01:54

Some of the replies on here defending the teacher are shocking. It's not that she swore that is the issue, it's that she swore AT kids, kids who she teaches! Using words as strong as calling them C's? 15 year olds? Who she is in a position of trust over! That is absolutely not okay in any circumstance in my opinion, and I would absolutely report to the school.

This. Your daughter isn’t going to feel safe with this teacher. How do you know that the teacher isn’t going to be unkind to the girl in class? The teacher is in a position of power over your daughter. Especially as this is the later years of school where marks count. I would absolutely be going into the school and making absolutely certain the situation is known and dealt with. Because it will be harder once it’s the year has started.

ChillysWaterBottle · 05/08/2023 03:37

Er of course her behaviour was not acceptable. I would report a teacher calling ny child a c**t, Jesus. Some PPs sound nuts defending this person.

IdisagreeMrHochhauser · 05/08/2023 03:41

Somewhereovertherainbowweighapie · 04/08/2023 05:25

Make sure your daughter understands that the girl is responsible for her own actions, but it’s a good thing to bring someone home if they are in that state. Tell her if it happens again still bring the girl home, but leave her at the door ring the bell and run.

Don't do this. Some local youths did this with a lad who'd taken drugs. They left him outside the hospital thinking someone would help him and they wouldn't get into trouble and he died. The safety of the friend is always the priority.

Somewhereovertherainbowweighapie · 05/08/2023 03:58

IdisagreeMrHochhauser · 05/08/2023 03:41

Don't do this. Some local youths did this with a lad who'd taken drugs. They left him outside the hospital thinking someone would help him and they wouldn't get into trouble and he died. The safety of the friend is always the priority.

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A parent screaming abuse voids that. It’s better than leaving the girl in the park on her own which is what is likely to happen after that.