Topless abroad . Yes or no

[HowmuchcanispendatChristmas]

Just after everyone's opinions. I'm on an all inclusive holiday . Nothing flash . European destination. Hot sunny . 3*. Would you feel offended if a female sunbathes topless at the pool? Just for context I have done , but put bikini top on to go in pool and her drinks . It's literally just going topless when laying on sunbed . More context age range is babies up to 70+ . Lots of different shapes and weights of people . Lots of bellies make and female and lots of big boobs on men. Like I say this is just for context . Just interested in people's opinions. I'm with my husband on holiday .

Another person who doesn't understand context. An incidental woman on a topless beach isn't comparable to a place where men pay to see topless women in the most sexualised manner possible.

Do people really not understand this?

What have strip clubs got to do with it?

We are talking about pools and beaches.

If topless beaches make you uncomfortable, why can't you just holiday somewhere else? Why is that not a solution?

Looking at the voting it's around 50/50; it will change as the thread evolves.

Here's a thing, those of us who want to go top free, take our tops off and enjoy the sunshine. Those who choose to cover up, leave their bras on.

I don't jusge anyone for leaving thier tops on, so why judge us for opting to take ours off?

Go to Skegness. You'll be lucky if you can take your fleece top off.

'An incidental woman on a topless beach isn't comparable to a place where men pay to see topless women in the most sexualised manner possible. Do people really not understand this?'

Yep I understand it, and agree. Topless on a beach fine where there's lots of space, not by the pool at a family hotel. It's context innit. Do you really not understand this?

😂

This thread has made me want to go skinny dipping 😀
Discreetly obvs 🤪

Oh, now you've decided to make it about hotel pools? And you still don't understand why they're not comparable to strip clubs? So in fact, now you've decided the issue is actually how much space there is?

It depends on the rules (and size, apparently) of the hotel. If it's allowed but you don't like it or there isn't enough space for you to be able to discern it from a strip club, then presumably you can understand that you ought to book somewhere else. Why is that not a solution?

I did that once. I'd love to do it again. It felt divine, the only time my chest still felt supported amd comfortable without any kind of bra.

Only in warm water, though.

You need to read the thread, it has been said throughout most agree beaches fine, family pools not so much.

I'm not gonna 'book elsewhere' on the chance one woman might decide to go topless in an area that most don't.

You could check out the nearest nudist beach or ask the hotel if their rooftop is for naked bathing

Have you read it? Plenty of people have complained about topless beaches and tried various methods, including body shaming, to try to stop others from doing it. To be honest, being against it in all public or semi public places actually makes more sense than deciding it's fine on a beach but unacceptable in an indoor pool at a hotel of a certain undetermined size.

I don't know why you've put inverted commas around "book elsewhere", but if it's not something that you're prepared to do, then you're just going to have to take the risk that you'll see some boobs. It's perfectly acceptable in many parts of the world and they're not obliged to change for you and your two week holiday. Don't like it, holiday somewhere else. Why is that not a solution?

A pertinent question, I think: if you are truly concerned about the effect of topless sunbathing on families and children, why wouldn't you book elsewhere? Why aren't you prioritising your family?

Because if its not usually a topless place so you book it thinking this and one woman decides to go topless, it's not really anything you can do unless you go you every place you want to holiday beforehand to check it out.
OP says there's one other person there topless so she's decided to give it a try too so obviously not somewhere where everyone gets their tits out.

Hmm thing is you see when booking hols hotels tend to list facilities and say things like 'family hotel' or 'lively hotel' so we know what to expect. They sadly cannot foresee if there'll be a lone topless sunbather making all the kids, parents and teens squirm.

If I were a keen topless sunbather I'd just pick an appropriate venue, like a beach that allows a bit of space and privacy. Then everyone is happy.

Up to a point, I can agree that families should avoid places that are likely to have topless sunbathers.

But also, deliberately whipping your top off in a family venue (hotel pool) for example smacks of exhibitionism. Other peoples preferences and comfort don't matter as long as you prove whatever point you're making. They're not shaming or policing you, they'd rather you kept your bikini top on. Not a big ask.

Adults without children who want to go topless have a lot more choice of where to go, so I'd say choose somewhere that it's welcomed

Men/boys like to look at women's breasts. If you want to go topless on a beach, at a swimming pool crack on, it doesn't bother me. But, if you think that men/boys won't look just because you are on a beach/around a pool then I believe you are mistaken. I can understand that some people feel uncomfortable about that. If a man told me he had never had a sneaky look at a woman's naked breasts on the beach then I'm afraid I wouldn't believe him.

My comment upthread about a conversation overheard on a beach in Ibiza recently is a case in point.

I think the key part of the OP is that she is at a 3* resort.

I have found 4/5* you get a different clientele.

I make no further comment.

And tbh if OP is making a whole Mumsnet thread about getting her top off, then it must be something out of the norm at that hotel. She wouldn't make a thread if everyone was sitting there topless would she? Just go and find somewhere you can comfortably get your top off without making a poll on Mumsnet to decide for you. 🙄Hopefully it'll be raining by then.

I wouldn’t personally. But I wouldn’t bat an eye lid if you did.

from your comments I’m lead to belief you have a neat pair of breasts that wouldn’t be enormously noticeable.

personally I’d be worried about tan lines everywhere south of my shoulders if I didn’t wear a swimming costume/bikini top to hold things in place …. I couldn’t lie on my back sunbathing either without them choking me or flopping under my arms! 😂
which makes it awkward to read a book!

if you can, enjoy it.
If anyone stares, stare back & smile!

Kids honestly aren't squirming about this.... you are!
I remember mentioning to my adolescent girls that there was a man sunbathing naked on the beach and they ran off as quick as they could to have a look. Ditto when waiting at some traffic lights in London and the world naked bike ride came by (mostly men) ... never seen them grin so much or grab their camera phones so quick. I neither encouraged them nor squirmed.
But kids with parents like yourself will have it drummed into them that boobs are bad and must be kept hidden as bodies are shameful right?

I've found that a lot more women seem to go topless now than they did a number of years ago!

'But kids with parents like yourself will have it drummed into them that boobs are bad and must be kept hidden as bodies are shameful right?'

Boobs aren't 'bad' and bodies aren't 'shameful'. Just show a bit of consideration and awareness for fellow sunbathers.

You know that in many places in the continent, topless sunbathing is considered family friendly. It's literally why you're having this conversation.

If you think that nude boobs are so dangerous for your children that you don't want to risk them seeing any, then you need to contact the hotel to clarify whether it's allowed there and if it is, you need to find somewhere where it isn't.

Seems a very small trouble when safeguarding your children, no?

You don't get to go somewhere where it's the norm, complain that it's happening and use your children and the notion of "consideration" to try to demand that the acceptable, established norm in the place you are visiting changes for you.

If you aren't prepared to do a little inquiring and research for the benefit of your children, then that suggests they are not actually the real reason for your disapproval. And if they are, it's hard to see why you wouldn't take sensible measures to protect them. Unless you don't actually think there's any harm in it, but you don't want to admit that the issue is with you.

Don't like it, go somewhere where it isn't an accepted norm. You still haven't said why this isn't an option.