My boyfriend gets mad if we don’t have sex

[Poppy23xx]

I have been with my partner coming up to 4 years, are sex life used to be really good multiple times daily. Obviously a lot has changed and life has got much busier over the years and due to this we tend to have sex around 3-4 times a week mostly due to busy life’s being tired and I’ve been prescribed 150mg of sertraline.

I haven’t been on any medication for a few days due to running out and waiting on my prescription due to this I’ve been feeling unwell. I’ve been feeling crappy for the past two days, today I haven’t been able get out of bed. As soon as he gets home from work he just wants my absolute attention he has to be constantly in my space which I don’t mind but when I’m not we’ll and I’m sweating one minute and cold the next the last thing I want to be doing is being cuddled. after about an hour of cuddling I moved away to sit up because I felt sick and I told him I just need my own space for a minute he then said to me that I never show him any intimacy I never let him touch me that I never touch him that we never do anything. I told him that we had literally been cuddling and I needed some space as i feel Ill and he laughed at me like yeah okay then you feel ill.

so after a couple of hours doing our own thing we was chilling again cuddling and watching tv. He’s then trying to make a move on me sexually which I told him I don’t want to do as I do not feel well. He then proceeded to push me of him he told me that im boring that I never want to do anything. He said that he is a man and a man has needs, he went on to accuse me of cheating and fucking someone else and told me that he is leaving tomorrow to find someone who’ll have sex with him when ever he wants.

well I got up out of bed and went downstairs to sleep on the sofa, he was continuing to shout me and kept coming downstairs waking me up. I told him I wanted to be left alone and he just kept coming in and turning the lights off. He makes a lot of jokes about our sex life to people he’ll say things like “you must be mad if you think I get touched” , “ mines not been used in ages”. But I really don’t understand because it’s not like we don’t ever have sex we do have sex. I’ll name the days when we last had sex and he’ll tell me that I’m lying and it’s been longer than that.

i Really don’t know what to do should I be having more sex with him. I do try to as much as I can but I am tired a lot of the time

You should leave him. He’s a sexual predator and an abuser. Good men do not behave this way.

Please say this isn't real @Poppy23xx . You poor thing, please seek help from a professional organisation - Womens Aid, the police, anyone.

OP, you posted here so a) you know it's wrong and b) you want out.
I'm going to say what I think. I've read your posts but not the replies. I'm expecting I'll be repeating what everyone has said.
These are the points that most struck me...

he is leaving tomorrow to find someone who’ll have sex with him when ever he wants.
Marvellous. The trash taking itself out. Make him stick to that.
feel like I’m less of a woman because I can’t fulfill his needs
i Really don’t know what to do should I be having more sex with him.
Every time I do try to leave him he’ll come round to my house and harass me or cry suicide.
I feel so ashamed the amount of things that I’ve put up with he cheated on me twice and I did actually leave him. I ended up back at my mums house
I left him in charge of my birth certificate and his birth certificate for sending our passports for recorded delievery. My documents were all lost but they have received him so at the moment I have no birth certificate

This is just appalling.

I'm not surprised you need medication living with all this shit.
FGS get out of this toxic relationship.

As for your birth cert- is it really lost? Or is he hiding it? Why did you allow him to be in charge of it?

You can apply for a copy. But that's the least of your worries.

Probably the first time I've said this, but just get rid of him straight away and tell him why

If I take my Sertralene half day late my hormones are up and down the entire week. I'm going to say LTB because he absolutely has no understanding or empathy towards your wants, feelings etc. I'm surprised you want it at all on Sertralene, perhaps sometimes you don't but don't want the hassle of dealing with him?

no wonder you're depressed, living with an abusive twat like that.

Have sex if you want to - but not to "fulfil his needs" FFS

He needs to leave, if he doesn't then ring the police. He's worn you down OP, he's an abusive bastard.

Agree with everyone else! Get rid. Wont be an easy ride but the choice you will ever make!

Please leave, please get the police involved and phone women's aid. You might need to escape into a shelter so he can't find you and force you to be with him again

If he forces you to have sex when you don't want it. That's rape.
Call the police.
If he threatens suicide.
Call the police for a welfare check.
If he won't leave without aggression.
Call the police.
If he tries to get back into the house through a window.
Call the police.
If he causes damage or is aggressive at your mum's.
Call the police.

What happened there? I certainly didn't intend to post yet!

feel like I’m less of a woman because I can’t fulfill his needs
You aren't obliged to 'fulfil needs' for any man. At all. Ever. Sex isn't about you fulfilling his needs. It's about two people sharing pleasure. Both of them, willingly, when they really want to. You are entitled to that. You aren't his sex doll.
i Really don’t know what to do
Split from him, today, forever.
Get some therapy to boost your self esteem.
should I be having more sex with him.
Absolutely not. That bastard doesn't deserve to have sex with anyone.
Every time I do try to leave him he’ll come round to my house and harass me or cry suicide.
If he comes round, don't answer or tell him to go.
If harasses, call the police.
If he says he's suicidal, ignore it. That's his choice, it's not down to you. A man threw himself under a train and died - his mother told everyone it was my fault. I hardly knew him. It can be upsetting. But don't waste your life on someone who is so manipulating.
I feel so ashamed the amount of things that I’ve put up with he cheated on me twice
Don't be ashamed. Leave shame behind. To quote Bowie 'The shame was on the other side.' You did then what you could do then. Now can be different.
I did actually leave him. I ended up back at my mums house
Good. Will she have you back? If so, go.
I left him in charge of my birth certificate and his birth certificate for sending our passports for recorded delievery. My documents were all lost but they have received him so at the moment I have no birth certificate
Go to your mum's and sort this out from there.

Don't worry about the past. You are entitled to a better future - take it. Good luck.

Agree this is abusive. It's sad you have been putting up with this. Please please get rid of him by any means, including involving the police. You are 100% entitled to speak to women's aid as well.

You deserve peace. Do not put everyone else's peace before your own. You can not tolerate this for the rest of your life.

He's a monster.

Also I think he took your birth certificate. It will new a way to control you. No passport - no job, no travel.

He is an abusive, cheating, sex pest. There is no question that you need to end this. Go back to your mums and tell him that if he turns up at your mum's you will call the police. Then call the police. Every. Single. Time. He threatens to commit suicide to emotionally manipulate you, it is just more abuse. You cannot be responsible for his mental health even if he was genuinely suicidal which I very much doubt. He's just an abusive arsehole.

This is horrible abusive behaviour

He does not love or care for you

I bet your depression would lift when you leave him

I would agree with him that you can't fulfill his needs so you're letting him go & find someone who wants sex multiple times daily.
Turn it back on him - he's right, you should definitely break up & then RUN.

If he threatens you, your family or his own life, CALL THE POLICE. Don't feel guilty - he needs professional help and this is a way for him to get it.

Speak to women's Aid today.
Speak to your mum, your friends...
You're going to need help & support to do this.

This is quite horrific to read. What ever you do please don't get pregnant by this twatwaffle or you be tied to him for life in one way or another.
Leave him and if he doesn't leave you alone, get a harassment order out against him.
Do you have friend/family support?

Get rid of him NOW. "Men have needs" is a fucking lie. They have desires, wants, lusts. Nobody needs sexual intercourse. This piece of shit scrote is an abuser and will rape you (if he hasn't done so already).

Please leave this awful person!

He is vile!

Just adding my voice to the others.

If at any point he tells you that he is suicidal then ring 999 and let them know. Every single time.

He will either get the help he needs, or will stop doing it. Absolutely no need for you to get involved.

You need to tell the police all of this. You need to be rid of this cock lodger for once and for all!!!

There is zero chance of you having a happy life with this man. The only question is how much of your life (and fertile years) you allow him to waste. That’s time you could be spending finding your actual future husband.

A man who loved you would care when you are ill, not harass you. A man who loved you wouod not cheat. A man who loved you would accept your decisions, even if that’s to break up, not emotionally blackmail you with threats of suicide and break into your home!! This man does not love you, he just likes controlling you, fucking you and bullying you.

(And, most couples do not have sex 4 times a week!)

How to end it practically I’m unsure, in your situation I’d probably book him a hotel room, move his stuff in there while he’s at work, change the locks and go on holiday / to stay with friends, then send him an email with what I had done and that we were never meeting again. Then block him on everything.

Bloody hell op. Don't wait to call the police. Call them now and tell them everything. He's full on.

DSis's ex used to threaten suicide if she left him. He's still alive and horrible five years after she did in fact leave him, and left her alone after she reported him to the police.