To remove SIL from the group chat?

[whyberude]

We have a family group chat, my mum, my brothers, me, my husband and my brothers wife (SIL)

I just find her so rude. We all message each morning just to say good morning to which she never replies or messages good morning to us. It takes just a second of your day? Means a lot to my mum, her MIL who lives alone and can be lonely. Why can't you just say it?

She very, very rarely engages in conversation. If you @ her directly in the chat she will reply (which leads me to suspect the chat is muted and she only gets notifications when tagged...)

Only one in a blue moon do I click on the chat and see two blue ticks, and when I slide across she is the only one who hasn't read them. All the messages in the chat will be grey ticks for weeks at a time until one day they'll randomly be blue where she's finally clicked on us (and there must of been hundreds of missed messages by that point)

She will very rarely send a photo or video of her kids, to which I just ignore. If you don't want to bother with us I'm not bothering with you.

AIBU to just remove her? Clearly she doesn't want to be in it, so why does she need to be? It is just so rude.

This! Just because she doesn't confirm to your intense rules doesn't reflect badly in her and she's polite and answers when you @ her. Excluding her would be mean.

She isn’t rude. You are way way way too intense, weird, pathetic and needy. Yes she probably has muted the group. Because the inanity of it is driving her insane!

Well OP I hope after about 900 responses all saying the same thing you’ll have got the message. But I somehow doubt it. Anyway FWIW YABVVVU.

Good Morning!

We have all made the effort, so why can’t OP? She is SO rude! It’s like she doesn’t want to be part of the group.
😂

JFC. My mum messages me a lot, she gets up earlier than I do and it stresses me out seeing 4+ whatsapp notifications that I have to deal with before I’m even out of bed. I’m sure your SIL would be relieved to be removed!! What did you do before texting, all ring your mum to say good morning every day???

Honestly OP this is way over the top and you are giving it too much headspace.

We are all different, some people are very family oriented, other people aren’t, I’m in family groups where they talk to each other all the time, I only pipe in occasionally, it also feels a bit awkward at times when you are the in law and everyone has grown up together. I’d rather just let them all plod along but it helps keep me up to date with what’s going on etc.

I barely speak to my own family and I think we’d all get under each others skin if we were messaging good morning every day, we are all quite happy to just message sporadically every month of so.

You are going to cause hell on Earth if you remove her from the group chat! If it bothers you that much then just pretend she isn’t there.

YABU. I'd absolutely hate this!
You really need to get a life.

Good Morning!

Bonkers

YABU, it's your family chat group. You would be really rude to remove her, having added her in the first place.

It doesn’t matter where you post this you will get the same response. It’s crazy behaviour. Your poor poor SIL. Remove her she will be grateful I’m sure she is looking for an out from this utter insanity. I’ve never heard anything for stupid as the same good morning message every day every month for YEARS!!!!

I'm afraid I would be your SIL in this situation.
That amount of contact and interaction would be unbearable and would have left the group by the end of the first week🥴

If I was your SIL I would have removed myself by now
Honestly it sounds very intense.

This can’t be serious 😂

Surely no grown adult has the time to check when someone’s online, monitor when someone replies or they don’t and expect a good morning message from everyone in the immediate and extended family.. my husband is lucky to get a verbal good morning when we wake up next to to eachother everyday

Goooood morning everyone 😁.

Have a great day

She doesn't say good morning. 😅

Good morning.

You def need to do a small group you your mum and brothers

I get you want to say hello to her as on her own and make sure she's ok

All can say good morning on that

Other family app with sil and dh for family stuff

I email my dad every night (have done since mum died 9yrs ago) as he's deaf so calls are hard - and I want to know he's ok

If he didn't email at night and none the next am/overnight I would call

If he didn't answer I do have a road wats app only 8 houses and could ask neighbour to check he's ok

Then I would drive there

We could close this thread out with 85 good mornings this morning, I just really hope @whyberude is not rude and come back to wish us all good morning too 😊

Good morning everyone 🌄 😁

Why would you remove her? What harm is it doing to you having her on the chat?

Mornjng all!

Op, I think you may be under occupied. M

Good morning!
And in case I don't see you, good afternoon, good evening and goodnight.

Good morning everyone.

Morning all.

Hoping SIL sees this thread as she will be off like a shot!

Good evening.

Nighty night.

Just so you all know, if you haven’t posted “Good Morning”, but later share pictures of your children, I will be ignoring them, because you obviously aren’t interested in being part of this thread.