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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be shocked that a man in his mid-twenties does not work for a living?

611 replies

queenofsheep · 01/08/2023 16:48

DD's boyfriend, older than DD by a year, does not work. He got his degree, now lives off rental income and an allowance through a family trust fund. AIBU to be shocked that there are men/boys in their twenties who are allowed to do this?

He and DD seem happy. DD isn't concerned at all. He insists that it is work because he has to manage his houses. He and DD go on nice holidays and attend parties.

OP posts:
Wretc · 01/08/2023 16:50

Allowed by who?

Saoirse82 · 01/08/2023 16:50

Depends what the rental income is. If he can afford nice holidays then I'm assuming he has several houses?

RunningFromInsanity · 01/08/2023 16:51

I would probably do the same if I was lucky enough to have those circumstances.

Limth · 01/08/2023 16:51

If he has the money not to have to work then why would he?

I wouldn't work if I didn't have to.

The questions of whether he's a responsible adult, whether him not working is a wise long-term decision, what his wider family might be like, and what he might expect a long-term relationship to look like (if him and DD stay together) are a whole other ball game.

dizzydizzydizzy · 01/08/2023 16:52

Speaking from experience, even managing one property is a big hassle. How many is he managing?

spirit20 · 01/08/2023 16:54

There are actually quite a lot of people, men and women, who do this. If people can live off family income, there isn't much need or incentive for them to work.

WeWereInParis · 01/08/2023 16:54

AIBU to be shocked that there are men/boys in their twenties who are allowed to do this?

"Allowed" by whom?

"Allowed" to do what - live off their own independent income? Anyone, male or female, can do that.

Paperclipped · 01/08/2023 16:55

Who is 'allowing' him? God?

Plenty of people on here say they wouldn't work if they had another source of income. It wouldn't be for me, but I'm not this guy.

Growlybear83 · 01/08/2023 16:55

Surely most people wouldn't work for a living if they were fortunate enough that they didn't have to do so?

itsmyp4rty · 01/08/2023 16:57

Are you jealous? I can't think of any other reason why you'd think this shouldn't be 'allowed'.

Hayliebells · 01/08/2023 16:57

It sounds like he has multiple properties, and he can live off the rental income, so it's no different really to earning an income through self employment. Yes it sounds like that's a result of family money, but there's so many wealthy people who spend their entire lives living off family money, working for a family business and never anywhere else. If he's a decent person I wouldn't have a problem with my DD being in a relaxed with them. As long as they're supportive of your DD's career, financially, it's probably a good thing.

RoseBucket · 01/08/2023 16:58

Lucky him!

whatabeautifulwedding · 01/08/2023 16:58

Wretc · 01/08/2023 16:50

Allowed by who?

Yes, this

Hayliebells · 01/08/2023 16:58

relationship, not relaxed!

BoobyDazzler · 01/08/2023 16:59

Allowed? Allowed by who?

I only work because I need to to pay my bills. I’d much rather not, I consider it a complete waste of my life. I’m very envious of him not having to work in his 20’s

Pufflebow · 01/08/2023 17:00

Rich people remain wealthy without doing much work.

people who can afford to not work at jobs they don’t like, choose to enjoy holidays and leisure time and spending their time how they prefer

who’d have thought it
groundbreaking stuff

WhateverMate · 01/08/2023 17:00

YANBU, he should have all his income and assets removed 🙄

whatabeautifulwedding · 01/08/2023 17:00

I think people get very hung up on the concept of "work".

If you have a legitimate and legal source of income then I can't see how it's anyone else's business if a young person doesn't go to a place of work.

pimlicopubber · 01/08/2023 17:00

My only concern as a mum would be to ensure my daughter doesn't quit her ambitions just because she has a trust fund boyfriend.
Even if they were to marry, it's good for women to hold on to at least some of their earning potential, unless they have an excellent prenup and would be entitled to a ridiculous amount of money in case of divorce, death or illness of the partner.
Other than that, lucky lad, good for him!

MRex · 01/08/2023 17:01

If he worked at an estate agency as a managing agent, would that be ok? That's the same job. I'd want evidence of actual problems to have an issue with the boy.

drpet49 · 01/08/2023 17:01

I wouldn’t be attracted a man who didn’t earn a honest living.

Maddy70 · 01/08/2023 17:02

He has a private income. Why not ?

GoodChat · 01/08/2023 17:03

If he's managing properties he's not not working...

DMLady · 01/08/2023 17:03

Limth · 01/08/2023 16:51

If he has the money not to have to work then why would he?

I wouldn't work if I didn't have to.

The questions of whether he's a responsible adult, whether him not working is a wise long-term decision, what his wider family might be like, and what he might expect a long-term relationship to look like (if him and DD stay together) are a whole other ball game.

This!

ShanghaiDiva · 01/08/2023 17:03

He has a private income. it’s a completely legitimate income.