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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be shocked that a man in his mid-twenties does not work for a living?

611 replies

queenofsheep · 01/08/2023 16:48

DD's boyfriend, older than DD by a year, does not work. He got his degree, now lives off rental income and an allowance through a family trust fund. AIBU to be shocked that there are men/boys in their twenties who are allowed to do this?

He and DD seem happy. DD isn't concerned at all. He insists that it is work because he has to manage his houses. He and DD go on nice holidays and attend parties.

OP posts:
Duckingella · 01/08/2023 17:04

Managing a property portfolio is hard work unless he uses a letting agency.

A friend and her sister and cousins were left a huge property portfolio by a childless relative and she lives off her income from that;it allowed her to become a SAHP.

FoodCentre · 01/08/2023 17:06

Managing properties can be used as work experience if he wants to get involved in property management or real estate. Paid employment would be wise, but entirely his choice.

I thought this would be about someone playing Xbox in his room with the curtains drawn, surrounded by empty shoeboxes.

You're just jealous, op. He's clearly doing fine.

Farmageddon · 01/08/2023 17:07

This is pretty standard for rich people OP, live off family money, inheritance, property etc. Then have a little side job/ hobby to keep them occupied.

He's not stealing and he's not scrounging so it's fair enough, but it probably would bother me in that he wouldn't necessarily have the same work ethic as your daughter.

I tend to think that never having to go out into the real world and earn your own money sort of ruins people...fair enough if people later in life decide to slow down and simplify their lives, but to be that young and never have really had a real job at all would be off-putting for me personally.

Rotterdam · 01/08/2023 17:10

I know people who have done this (family members) and who haven’t even bothered to contribute by managing property.

I guess it’s like a family business. If he is happy like that, leave him be. Property or investment management can be full on.

Lantyslee · 01/08/2023 17:10

I'd hope he uses his available time in a positive/interesting way but if he can cover his living costs then I'm not sure it matters where his income comes from.

I met a man recently (prob aged about 30) who makes a living from trading stocks and shares a couple of days/week and then spends the rest of his time gardening because it makes him happy. It seemed like a very healthy way to live.

Zippedydodah · 01/08/2023 17:11

Lucky bugger!
Having worked one way or another since I was 14 , full time from 18, if I had had that sort of opportunity I would have grabbed it!

3dogsandarabbit · 01/08/2023 17:11

Is this a family business where his parents own numerous properties that are rented out and he manages them? That is a job isn't it? I would assume he has to make sure rents are paid on time and that all the properties are maintained and make arrangements for repairs etc.

5foot5 · 01/08/2023 17:13

drpet49 · 01/08/2023 17:01

I wouldn’t be attracted a man who didn’t earn a honest living.

What's dishonest about renting property?

Pinkitydrinkity · 01/08/2023 17:15

I work in private client tax.. there are people (men and woman) of all ages who are like this!

A lot of them pretty much do hobbies under the guise of working - yoga teachers and consultants are common.

jc12689 · 01/08/2023 17:15

drpet49 · 01/08/2023 17:01

I wouldn’t be attracted a man who didn’t earn a honest living.

Why's dishonest about what this guy is doing. ?

TeeBee · 01/08/2023 17:16

Farmageddon · 01/08/2023 17:07

This is pretty standard for rich people OP, live off family money, inheritance, property etc. Then have a little side job/ hobby to keep them occupied.

He's not stealing and he's not scrounging so it's fair enough, but it probably would bother me in that he wouldn't necessarily have the same work ethic as your daughter.

I tend to think that never having to go out into the real world and earn your own money sort of ruins people...fair enough if people later in life decide to slow down and simplify their lives, but to be that young and never have really had a real job at all would be off-putting for me personally.

And yet, despite having a leg-up and a trust fund, he's gone and studied for a degree. He sounds fine to me.

WiddlinDiddlin · 01/08/2023 17:16

You can play down all sorts of self employment if you want to.

I chase some words about and talk to folk online about their dogs, sometimes, I do some colouring in.

Obviously, thats not 'work' particularly as I choose when I do it, sit on my arse all day and don't have to go anywhere -and I enjoy it of course.

Managing properties likely also means managing contractors and quite a lot of boring admin. Sounds like work to me.

Hoppinggreen · 01/08/2023 17:17

drpet49 · 01/08/2023 17:01

I wouldn’t be attracted a man who didn’t earn a honest living.

Define honest living

misattributedparentage · 01/08/2023 17:17

Well, it's simple really - if we don't have to work, then why work? Unless of course, the job is something that truly ignites our passion. But let's be honest, most people in the grind just want to call it quits. DH made a lot of money on investment and it was just so thrilling to finally be able to leave my job. While my husband still punches the clock, I haven't regretted it for a second. I would do the same in this young man's position.

Siouxiesiouxiesioux · 01/08/2023 17:18

OP sounds a lot like me. When you have grafted your whole life it is so difficult to imagine that people actually live like that.

topnoddy · 01/08/2023 17:19

He's running a business innit , rental properties .

Plus his allowance from daddy

Oohmissus · 01/08/2023 17:19

Why on earth shouldn't he? I've done the same as him and I'm still standing at the grand old age of 50.

FigTreeInEurope · 01/08/2023 17:19

Send him darn' pit.. lazy bastard

MinimalistMe · 01/08/2023 17:19

Sounds absolutely wonderful, how nice to be able to live and not slave away to make somebody else rich. He's a lucky guy!

AutumnCrow · 01/08/2023 17:20

He and DD go on nice holidays and attend parties

Attend parties? Why on earth is that comment-worthy, OP?

Keykaty · 01/08/2023 17:20

Can't see the problem. Presumably a wealthy family, he doesn't have to worry about funding a pension or paying NI or buying a house etc.

This is the life many would like. Not everyone is a slave to mammon.

Mariposa26 · 01/08/2023 17:20

We are not just put on earth to work most of our life away. Most of us are forced to. For those who have the means not to, why not?

topnoddy · 01/08/2023 17:21

AutumnCrow · 01/08/2023 17:20

He and DD go on nice holidays and attend parties

Attend parties? Why on earth is that comment-worthy, OP?

Do we reckon there's jelly and ice cream ?

ImNotReallySpartacus · 01/08/2023 17:21

Anything that is not prohibited by law is 'allowed'. There is no law against living off a trust fund, if you happen to have one.

InSpainTheRain · 01/08/2023 17:22

But he is working - he manages his properties! And it can be a complete hassle!