To be away on my due date

[JemimaWithTheStripeyTights]

DH and I have been married ten years and have two DC (5 and 3). This year we're intending to spend Christmas with my family who live a couple of hundred miles away. But I'm pregnant with DC no 3, and turns out that my due date is a couple of days after Christmas! DC1 was a week late and DC2 right on time, so it does seem possible I might go into labour while we're away. Since the dating scan, DH has been making worried noises about whether it's wise for us to be away so close to my due date and asking whether we should consider staying at home. I was really looking forward to spending Xmas with my family (and DCs 1 & 2 are excited about opening their presents with their cousins) but can also see where DH's coming from. Like for instance is it difficult to get into a maternity unit if you're booked into a totally different hospital miles away? And can we cope with getting a newborn 200 miles home in a car already rammed with two other kids and their stuff? I love the idea of a perfect family Christmas with all the kids but am I being unreasonably impractical?

Other relevant info: I'm booked into our local maternity hospital where DCs 1 & 2 were born, the staff are lovely and I'd be sorry not to give birth there again. My family live in a city with lots of good hospitals, it's just the aspect of being in a place where I'm not already a patient that's the issue.

DH has raised his concerns but has said he'll absolutely support whatever decision I make. It's not because he doesn't want to spend Christmas away, we've done it several times before and he and my family get on famously. Think he's more worried that he'll end up delivering a baby on the hard shoulder of the M1, tbh.

Why would you even consider a trip away around your due date? Anything could happen, baby or you could be poorly and you’ll be in a different city to your older DCs for months. It’s not a risk I’ll be willing to take. I’m in total agreement with your DH

I’d plan to be at home myself as I would fret about other factors - weather conditions when driving for one depending on where you are in the UK. Perhaps you could arrange for your family to stay in an air bnb close to you instead?

What if you need to have a c-section? How would you cope, travelling 200 miles home post-surgery with a newborn?

If you go into labour it's going to ruin Christmas for the kids if they're looking forward to it being there.

I'd stay home and work on explaining why to the kids.

sorry but I think you’d be mad to consider being so far away over your due date - what if there was an emergency with you or baby and you had to stay in hospital for weeks, it’s pretty likely you would give birth down there given the timing. And then travelling so far back with a newborn could be a nightmare, you could still be in lots of pain, had a c section etc

It’s a shame to miss Christmas with parents but it’s one year and think you have to put your own family first here

I wouldn’t even consider going so far away on my due date

I'm with your husband on this; you'd be silly to be away from home on your due date.

I reckon this one will arrive on 22nd and you can take him/her and your leaky boobs to see the family. And they all lived happily ever after.

I think it sounds like an unnecessary risk to take. I'm sure it would be a lovely Christmas but the risk outweighs the benefit.

The stress of getting a tiny newborn baby home 200 miles is madness - you'd have to stop off like every 2 hours minimum for a good amount of time due to risk of breathing issues or suffocation for baby! (And some research indicates ideally no more than 2 hours within a 24 hour period!) It'd be awful for the older kids as well.

I think plan something lovely for next Christmas 2024 when all of you can properly enjoy it

Travelling hundreds of miles a few days before or on your due date is utter stupidity.

That sounds like a lot of unnecessary hassle and complication, just when you don't need it. It's not like they are 10 miles down the road.

Why don't you do a mini-Christmas get-together in early December, well before your due date, and open gifts with cousins then? It doesn't matter that it's early. Maybe meet half way at a nice hotel for Sunday lunch?

I really think you should stay at home. You've got plenty more years to have Christmas with your family.

As pp suggested, it's not so much about where you might give birth (as if any hospital would turn you away in labour!) It's more about the aftermath. Even all going well it would be a nightmare sitting in the car for the journey home!

I'm with DH! Unexpected things happen around labour and birth and it wouldn't be good to be stuck in a hospital so far from home.

I’m quite gung-ho but this would be too much for me.

I’m with your husband on this. You’ll get plenty more Christmases, just stay home for this one.

I agree with your DH also there is a very good chance you will give birth there.

Alternatively could you go 2/3 weeks before and have an early Christmas celebration with your family? I would be considering this anyway in case your in hospital/giving birth/postpartum on Xmas day

I was relatively relaxed about my pregnancies, to the point where my waters broke while I was at work, but even I think this is daft. I don't agree with sitting at home watching the clock, but hundreds of miles in a stuffed car and, in all likelihood, a newborn sounds like a nightmare.

If I didn't know better, I'd be concerned that you were being a bit of a drama seeker and looking for a good tale to tell, if I'm totally honest.

Stay at home and make a big deal of Easter or something instead.

There will be other years you can spend Christmas with your family. Stay at home this year. You may go in to labour on the long journey (either way) or if you end up having the baby up there, have to spend the few days after the birth in a house that's not yours, surrounded by lots of extra people (even if they are ones you love).

I’m pretty relaxed about this kind of stuff. Went to visit family overnight on my due date etc. BUT my family were only 40 miles away, I think 200 miles, over Christmas etc would be too risky for me.

That’s quite a distance. Honestly I wouldn’t.

I remember planning attending my graduation miles and miles away around my due date. I didn't want to miss out on anything. But realistically as it got closer I wanted to be at home, to feel prepared, not to travel (v. Uncomfortable by that stage) and everything to hand in case I needed it. Travelling home after my section was painful and uncomfortable and that was a 20 min run from our nearest hospital and I was glad that was all it was. Please give yourself a break, it'll be full on enough never mind with travelling and being guests etc. It sounds like you're making things much harder on yourself than it needs to be. But I fully understand not wanting to miss out on Christmas plans, I was due in December as well and I was gutted that we couldn't do our normal visiting. But it was the last thing I'd have wanted to do.

Can’t they come to you? Or how about you have Christmas mid Jan with a lovely newborn.

I wouldn’t fancy a completely new hospital, plus what if you and baby need to stay in for a few weeks? Would the whole family stay on? Don’t assume a transfer would be possible. I think the key thing is to work out what would happen in a worst case scenario and whether you could manage that.

No I wouldn’t go. It’s advised not to be too far away from 37 weeks. Apart from the obvious that you’d be too far from your hospital, what about the practicalities of getting home with a newborn after birth, and the things needed to look after a newborn.

Stay home. Honestly just stupid to think of doing anything else.