To be away on my due date

[JemimaWithTheStripeyTights]

DH and I have been married ten years and have two DC (5 and 3). This year we're intending to spend Christmas with my family who live a couple of hundred miles away. But I'm pregnant with DC no 3, and turns out that my due date is a couple of days after Christmas! DC1 was a week late and DC2 right on time, so it does seem possible I might go into labour while we're away. Since the dating scan, DH has been making worried noises about whether it's wise for us to be away so close to my due date and asking whether we should consider staying at home. I was really looking forward to spending Xmas with my family (and DCs 1 & 2 are excited about opening their presents with their cousins) but can also see where DH's coming from. Like for instance is it difficult to get into a maternity unit if you're booked into a totally different hospital miles away? And can we cope with getting a newborn 200 miles home in a car already rammed with two other kids and their stuff? I love the idea of a perfect family Christmas with all the kids but am I being unreasonably impractical?

Other relevant info: I'm booked into our local maternity hospital where DCs 1 & 2 were born, the staff are lovely and I'd be sorry not to give birth there again. My family live in a city with lots of good hospitals, it's just the aspect of being in a place where I'm not already a patient that's the issue.

DH has raised his concerns but has said he'll absolutely support whatever decision I make. It's not because he doesn't want to spend Christmas away, we've done it several times before and he and my family get on famously. Think he's more worried that he'll end up delivering a baby on the hard shoulder of the M1, tbh.

I think missing one Christmas with the family isn’t the end of the world.

And actually it might be nice to have a cosy few days with the DC before the new baby arrives!

or what about a big family burns night?!

No, I like to wing it now and again, but this is crazy.

Have you even asked your family how they feel about having a guest who might suddenly go into labour and water breaking in middle of Xmas day night, when they’re all pissed and ready for bed, and your up and about for hours in early labour, then need a lift to hospital on Boxing Day morning - when they just want to have a lazy lie in? Then you return back to them for extended stay on day after Boxing Day until you and new baby can travel back in car for 4 hours?

not sure I’d be willing to host that! If you were my daughter I’d maybe offer to come to yours in case you did go into labour to help out. I£ have a military grade plan in place over Xmas diner so it was all prepared dependant of whether you were still pregnant, early labour, in hospital or back home nursing .

what is the best thing to look forward to? A somewhat scary apprehensive drive and stay for Xmas with your family this year, or a quieter Xmas with the prospect of a new Xmas baby coming home ? One is a “once on lifetime” ( or maybe 3 in your case), the other you have rest of your life to do

You've stumbled upon a rare thing OP - a thread where everyone (except you...) agrees.

This would be utter madness for about 6000 different reasons.

I'm with your DH! My babies came at 36+5 and 39+0 though!

Can the cousins come to you?

Agree with your DH. Plan on not being there, you would be mad to consider this. There will be many more years with cousins

Sounds really daft to me. And a what happens if you go into labour a few days early? You’re only going to doubly disappoint your kids if the plans have to change at the last minute. Loads of reasons to stay home.

I agree with pp. I also get why you want to spend Christmas with your family.

Do your parents have a computer? Could you all set up Microsoft teams? If you have MacBook or iPad then you can FaceTime.

This way you can remain at home but spend Christmas together remotely. Your kids can unwrap their presents with their cousins and show each other what they got.

I know it’s not the same as being there in person but it is the next best thing.

you'd have to stop off like every 2 hours minimum for a good amount of time due to risk of breathing issues or suffocation for baby!
I thought they couldn’t be sat upright in a car seat for more than 20minutes. It would take an age to travel 200miles.

If you have a cs (never say never) a 200 miles car journey with a newborn and little kids will be hell. 8 miles was bad enough!

Your dh has handled this very well, you have good one there!

If both existing DC had been induced 10+ days overdue I'd be ok with the plan but as your second came on due date, your DH is right, bad idea, likelihood of very long journey back with newborn (or birth on the hard shoulder/ Watford Gap Services) seems a bit high to me!

Perfect! You can stop off at an inn with stables half way through a 6 hour traffic jam on the M1 and pop your newborn in a manger.

Even rarer that everyone agrees with a husband 😁

Agreed, you can almost see in his head he’s really going 🤯😱😭🫣

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
👏👏

Even though you had easy labours last time you might not this time. After my last c section I had Oramorph to get me the 12 miles home, 200 miles sounds madness!

Stay at home!!

Go to your family next year.

My eldest was 3 days late. My youngest was a month and a half early, with absolutely no indication that would happen, completely low risk pregnancy etc. Not a chance I would be going that far. As a pp said, why not go earlier so you still see them, just not as close to your due date?

Why not see if the family will get an air b n b close to where you live so you can visit very easily. Then if you do go into labour it’s not a great kerfuffle getting to hospital.

It's an unnecessary risk
If you did give birth there or had a section you'd have an uncomfortable journey back
God forbid but what if there were complications with baby and they needed NICU
Prepare DC now and say this year will be different and you might even have a sibling for Christmas

We once got stuck on a motorway for nearly 6 hours when it was closed due to a hay wagon fire. We couldn't move or detour off at all. We just had to sit.

You can never guarantee what might happen on busy roads especially for that distance so it's not worth it. Imagine being stuck on a motorway for 6 hours in labour (luckily none of us were but someone in the hundreds of stopped cars might have been).

Could your family come to you instead but they still do all the 'hosting'?

Everyone's already raised the point of aftermath.

I'd just like to raise the point of the actual birth. If you are travelling and labour starts.

Traffic jam- dangerous for you and baby
Quick labour- might not get there in time
Baby needs resuscitation- not available on roadside
Slow labour- no monitoring on M25

I didn't travel in my third trimester for these reasons but I did have the opposite problem in that people were pushing for us to travel. But they and you need to understand that birth is often risky and always unpredictable.

Honestly, to be blunt if you do this, you need to know you are risking some risky and serious complications for you and the baby. Lifelong disability, death.

No holiday is worth that.