To be away on my due date

[JemimaWithTheStripeyTights]

DH and I have been married ten years and have two DC (5 and 3). This year we're intending to spend Christmas with my family who live a couple of hundred miles away. But I'm pregnant with DC no 3, and turns out that my due date is a couple of days after Christmas! DC1 was a week late and DC2 right on time, so it does seem possible I might go into labour while we're away. Since the dating scan, DH has been making worried noises about whether it's wise for us to be away so close to my due date and asking whether we should consider staying at home. I was really looking forward to spending Xmas with my family (and DCs 1 & 2 are excited about opening their presents with their cousins) but can also see where DH's coming from. Like for instance is it difficult to get into a maternity unit if you're booked into a totally different hospital miles away? And can we cope with getting a newborn 200 miles home in a car already rammed with two other kids and their stuff? I love the idea of a perfect family Christmas with all the kids but am I being unreasonably impractical?

Other relevant info: I'm booked into our local maternity hospital where DCs 1 & 2 were born, the staff are lovely and I'd be sorry not to give birth there again. My family live in a city with lots of good hospitals, it's just the aspect of being in a place where I'm not already a patient that's the issue.

DH has raised his concerns but has said he'll absolutely support whatever decision I make. It's not because he doesn't want to spend Christmas away, we've done it several times before and he and my family get on famously. Think he's more worried that he'll end up delivering a baby on the hard shoulder of the M1, tbh.

I'm pretty relaxed and I would definitely want to be much nearer to home/hospital within a week or two of my due date. I think you're crazy. Sorry.

30 mins. But either way a 200 mile journey is madness.

What does your mum say?
Does she know your due date?

I am assuming this is a reverse and you are the dh.

If not there is no way in hell I would be travelling so close to my due date and I doubt that your family would particularly want you to do so either.

How old are the kids involved. Could you do a mini Christmas at the end of November in your house and have a few gifts that they can open then. Have a tree and lights etc and a version of Christmas dinner.

I’m pretty laid back and it would be an absolute no from me, I was due at Christmas and ended up a having a Christmas Eve baby and spent the majority of Christmas Day as an inpatient on the postnatal ward, I made absolutely no real Christmas plans that year as I just told family we would play it by ear. I did take a last trip to see a family member 300 miles away about 36/40 and that even felt like a lot.

You obviously can have a baby at a hospital you are not booked at but they have none of your information, no blood results for you, no history and I imagine your third might be quick. Also you need to consider if you or baby needed to stay unexpectedly.

Are you on glue?

As pp said, just make a big deal of Halloween, or bonfire night. Have family round your house on the 1st of December. Anything . Something that doesn't involve you stuck on an A road in labour.

Just this weekend I was on an A road and not moving for over 2 hours (closed due to an accident ahead). I'm sure if I had phoned an ambulance, I would have got help, but then what? Your DH stuck with the car and kids, and you in an ambulance alone, dropped off at the closest hospital, 100 miles from home?

Kids can get Christmas presents on your fake get together. A bubble machine and they're happy. just any old tat kids like, bulky but cheap kid-pleasers

I wouldn't want your waters breaking on my new DFS sofa just as I'm about to serve trifle.

Despite anything else, I wouldnt want to be in a car for 200 miles at term, let alone all the other risks etc mentioned. Haveyou forgotten how uncomfortable it is being pregnant?!

And how would you ever look your relatives in the face again if your waters broke and ruined their spare bed mattress!

Have a belated Christmas when the baby is here.

I definitley wouldn't go. Far too many what-ifs. Have a belated get-together in January to introduce your new baby.

whoa, sorry but I think that’s crazy! After reading the title I came on here to say that your DH apparently has no idea about birth and needs to get a grip, I’d not have expected that it is you who wants to travel on your due date.

No definitely not; I didn’t travel further than half an hour away from 37 weeks. The idea of having to travel that distance with a newborn is not good at all. Plus what if you’re in hospital for a few days then your DH and DC just have to wait? And if you have a c section that drive home would be awful

I'm with hubby on this. What if bad weather sets in and your stuck on a motorway in a snowdrift?
There are just so many things that could go wrong . Stay at home. Could yoir family not come to you instead?

Ask the cousins to keep their presents for your kids and vice versa and do a new baby celebration when the baby is born and you can go and visit. The whole attention would be taken off all the kids if you went into labour on Christmas day. Most likely you won't have baby till after Christmas if you stay home. But sitting in car for a few hours could make the little one make his way out.
Also if you did have baby there with so many people, bugs germs, little hands wanting to touch and kiss the baby it sounds like asking for a sick newborn.

It’s definitely been done before.

Are you planning on travelling by donkey?

I know you're being light hearted about dh delivering the baby on the hard shoulder but imagine if that happened.

He's having to help you in a medical emergency while keeping a 3 and a 5 yr old calm and safely in the car with traffic whizzing by at 70mph.

Stay at home.

You're thinking with the confidence of a woman who's having a third child!

Each birth is different. It's likely to all go absolutely fine, no problems or hitches. But there's always the possibility it won't. Best to be close to home.

Also, do you really want to be driving 200 miles at 40 weeks?? Won't you need to pee every 5 miles?!!

Well it's not often the bloke is right on birthing stuff.

I think you're absolutely insane for even considering it.

Bad idea.

Organise them to visit you, or arrange a big trip at Easter!

I would stay home, I've have had several babies and I wouldn't consider going anywhere over an hour away after 37 weeks, and tbh too uncomfortable to travel that far when heavy pregnant.

It would be a nightmare driving back from the hospital to home having to stop every thirty minutes or whatever it is for a break!

Madness, sorry OP. Stay home this year and plan a big one for December 2024.

Is your family coming to you an option? (I know it might not be depending on how many people, how old etc, but maybe one to explore?)

I agree with the majority that it sounds like an insane idea. I would give it a miss for this year as you just don't know what will happen and there are too many "what if's" to make it doable.

You could also visit them a bit later on and have a second Christmas with turkey and exchange presents etc if you want to then.

or just plan it for the following year instead.

Think he's more worried that he'll end up delivering a baby on the hard shoulder of the M1, tbh

I don't think this is an unreasonable thing to be concerned about - one of the many concerns involved in being 200 miles away from your home on your due date.

Why would you even countenance your OH having this fear?

Why?