Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be away on my due date

180 replies

JemimaWithTheStripeyTights · 01/08/2023 13:48

DH and I have been married ten years and have two DC (5 and 3). This year we're intending to spend Christmas with my family who live a couple of hundred miles away. But I'm pregnant with DC no 3, and turns out that my due date is a couple of days after Christmas! DC1 was a week late and DC2 right on time, so it does seem possible I might go into labour while we're away. Since the dating scan, DH has been making worried noises about whether it's wise for us to be away so close to my due date and asking whether we should consider staying at home. I was really looking forward to spending Xmas with my family (and DCs 1 & 2 are excited about opening their presents with their cousins) but can also see where DH's coming from. Like for instance is it difficult to get into a maternity unit if you're booked into a totally different hospital miles away? And can we cope with getting a newborn 200 miles home in a car already rammed with two other kids and their stuff? I love the idea of a perfect family Christmas with all the kids but am I being unreasonably impractical?

Other relevant info: I'm booked into our local maternity hospital where DCs 1 & 2 were born, the staff are lovely and I'd be sorry not to give birth there again. My family live in a city with lots of good hospitals, it's just the aspect of being in a place where I'm not already a patient that's the issue.

DH has raised his concerns but has said he'll absolutely support whatever decision I make. It's not because he doesn't want to spend Christmas away, we've done it several times before and he and my family get on famously. Think he's more worried that he'll end up delivering a baby on the hard shoulder of the M1, tbh.

OP posts:
sugarsherbet · 01/08/2023 14:55

Don't do it! I went away at 34 weeks and ended up admitted in hospital for the whole weekend miles away from family and support. Luckily I didn't have the baby (touch and go) but I'd never take the risk again.

cinnamonfrenchtoast · 01/08/2023 14:56

I think you'd be absolutely insane.

Yourgirl26 · 01/08/2023 14:56

I need your guys opinions I took two clear blues and overnight one came back with a faint positive and the other one stayed negative what’s your guys opinion am I pregnant or not?

To be away on my due date
heartofglass23 · 01/08/2023 14:57

I'm quite flabbergasted that it's you suggesting this. I expected it to be a daft DP's idea!

I mean it's up to you, do what you want but I can't imagine many women would.

ThatFraggle · 01/08/2023 14:59

Yourgirl26 · 01/08/2023 14:56

I need your guys opinions I took two clear blues and overnight one came back with a faint positive and the other one stayed negative what’s your guys opinion am I pregnant or not?

You need to start your own thread

TheGoogleMum · 01/08/2023 15:00

Is there any way they could come to you? Otherwise you may as well prepare to give birth There if you are set on going!

ActDottie · 01/08/2023 15:01

Omg no! I’m due 17th January and no way I’d even consider going that far away as anything could happen and you want to be in a familiar environment.

Newusernametostayanon · 01/08/2023 15:02

You would be mad to do this. Why not have a big family ‘Christmas’ on say 1 Dec, turkey etc, so the cousins can get together before the new baby arrives?

Qbishy · 01/08/2023 15:04

No way would I do that. No, no, no, no way. What if there are complications? What if you have a c-section? What if you go into labour on the drive up there, 100 miles between you and them?

pontipinemum · 01/08/2023 15:04

ABSOLUTELY NO WAY! Go to your family next year.

Your DH is being very calm and hoping you come to the conclusion you will decide not to go. Mine was having heart failure that I wanted to go to the beach 1 week before my due date and it was only an hr way.

Tinktravels · 01/08/2023 15:06

Would your family consider celebrating Christmas on a different date?
Have your own Christmas early December?
The date is only meaningful if you are religious I guess

fireflyloo · 01/08/2023 15:10

Are you mad? No chance I'd travel 200 miles on my due date. Get them to come to you.

Zanatdy · 01/08/2023 15:12

Sorry but get them to come to you, you can’t go away around your due date hundreds of miles away

AndThenWhatHappened · 01/08/2023 15:12

Noppity nope. Three babies here and none of the births went 'right'...so many things that could happen. Next year I'm sure will be magical

Luana1 · 01/08/2023 15:13

I'm going to assume your brain is being massively affected by your pregnancy, as it is completely bonkers to even be considering this! There will be other Christmases that your children can spend with their cousins.

SoftSheen · 01/08/2023 15:15

I'm with DH. Have Christmas at home this year!

Moveoverdarlin · 01/08/2023 15:15

I wouldn’t consider it for a second. From 37 weeks onwards, I’d keep to a 10 radius of home.

MistyMorningMelons · 01/08/2023 15:15

noblegiraffe · 01/08/2023 13:53

What if you need to have a c-section? How would you cope, travelling 200 miles home post-surgery with a newborn?

Absolutely this. Or if you end up with tearing/stitches/horrendous piles etc.

You may of course give birth earlier than anticipated and end up having a new born to cart wherever it is you're going.

I wouldn't, personally.

Toddlerteaplease · 01/08/2023 15:16

Don't be so ridiculous. It's one Christmas you'll miss. And do you really want to sit in a car for 200 miles having just pushed a watermelon out of your foof?

MeridianB · 01/08/2023 15:16

I don't understand why this is a question. In other words, why would you take such risks? It's totally pointless.

Do the Norman Rockwell celebrations another time, once your baby arrives safely.

EmmaOvary · 01/08/2023 15:16

OP, I know you’re looking forward to a nice family Christmas but the likelihood of it being anything but is high. Just not worth the risk of endangering your health or the baby’s. Do you want your kids witnessing mum screaming in pain on the hard shoulder in a tailback? Or worse? Can’t they all come to you for a low key Xmas? order the food from Cook.com or get a takeaway. Or as others suggest, do it sooner than Xmas.

MyMiniMetro · 01/08/2023 15:17

If you give birth in another city you will need to register their birth there too which might be tricky over Christmas and New Year and you may need to go back in January when you've decided on a name/the registry office is open.

Stay home for Christmas. Maybe do a family Christmas thing mid-November instead if you feel well enough.

Ylvamoon · 01/08/2023 15:18

I wouldn't risk it. So much could go wrong: baby early, bad weather, c- section,...

At 3&5 your DC will actually remember very little about Christmas.

So for them, in the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter where they unwrap their presents.
It would be far more traumatic if mum is rushed off to hospital and they have to stay in an unfamiliar place with people they probably don't see weekly.

SleepingStandingUp · 01/08/2023 15:19

Sorry, another no.

We were in hospital with DS for 13 weeks. Unexpectedly, I'd assumed I'd squeeze and he'd come out pink and healthy. Local hospital. First child. I just wouldn't risk it.

How will you even get home?

Popetthetreehugger · 01/08/2023 15:20

I agree with pp just do Christmas early . If all the cousins are as young as yours , they will love the double whammy ! Seriously, even though you’ve been fine before , please don’t get blasé about the safety side x

Swipe left for the next trending thread