Can I just say that life as an ugly woman is horrible.

[SundayMorningTeaForOne]

I’m going to get very personal, so I’ve name changed for this one.

I hope we can be grown-up about this topic and no one’s going to hit me with the ”everyone’s beautiful in their own way” or claim that I have self-esteem issues.

Anyway, when I was younger boys really wanted to let me know how ugly they found me, so often made comments when I walked by.

When older I was loading some stuff in the car and men walked by and made those truck in reverse beeb-beeb-beeb sounds, you know letting me know I’m fat.

When out, men don’t talk to me, I’m not saying they have to be interested in me - this isin’t even what I mean, they complitely ignore me, talk to everyone else around us/ table, I’m air apperently.

I’m turning 40 next year. Never been on a date, never even been asked out on a date. So if anyone here want to argue my ugliness must be in my head, what more proof do you need.

Getting older has woken me up to the fact that I’m not going to have kids, I don’t have enough money and only family members I have I my prent and the way that they are, they are not going to support me with a child, so I can’t have a child on my own.
I don’t have enough resourses.

I can’t ger over the fact that I’ve went through life and never been loved.
No one’s ever cared about me, no one saw me as someone they’d (at least try) want to share and build a life with.
Always doing everything on my own, how tired I have become, I didn’t even notice it until I felt totally broken.
My cat died almost two years ago, she was the only one I’ve ever said good morning and good night to, now I just say to an empty room.
How sad is that?!

I honestly don’t know what keeps me here, why did I stay here for all these years. To still be alone.
Everyday I get up and go for a walk, no matter the weather, and feel like an idiot for doing that.

And in case someone wants to jump and say I must have depression, I just want to remaind that this is my life, had been always.
I’m just getting it all out. I think anyone would be very extatic if this is how their life had gone.
I had hope when I was younger / was happier, years / decades roled by and it wore me down.
That’s it.

Ok, not to patronise as you clearly know you're overweight, but I've overheard quite a few lads in the past saying they'd choose great body/average face over great face/average body.

A lot of people considered generally 'attractive' are just average people with good dress sense and good bodies. People that make the effort. Of course there will always be people with unnatractive features and those that radiate heavenly natural beauty, but I'd wager you'd find somebody if you got in shape and worked on your confidence.

@SundayMorningTeaForOne i was thinking about your post this morning. A woman I know is pretty ugly and overweight. She is also very stupid and terrible company, but has a lovely wife who is attractive and clever. You can’t be any worse looking than her.

I'm no absolute stunner. I'm pretty nondescript in the face. But I've had no trouble finding partners as I've always stayed in shape.

I once saw him out in London, with his entourage. Had never seen GoT before so didn’t know who he was. There’s a reason why he’s on TV (and perhaps adding to our paranoia about looks): his face was/is stunningly handsome. I mean, drop dead gorgeous. Yes, he has dwarfism but he’s exceptionally handsome.

Wtf? 😂 The most bizzare post in this 23 pages long thread. What on earth did you think that photo would add..?

And yeah, you are pretty nondescript in the face judging from your photo. 😂

I'm so jealous. I bet he smells like really masculine soap. He's is gorgeous. I'm someone who's type is normally a big burly viking looking fella, but that handsome devil just has the most gorgeous face.

I even think his real voice is dead sexy and I've never said that about any American ever, because I like a good geordie or Scottish accent 😂

It's proof that I'm not making stuff up like a significant number of people on here do.

What was it you were trying to prove and why?

That I'm not lying about being in good shape. You seem a bit over invested tbh.

@Lwrenagain peter D is hands down one of the most stunning people I have EVER seen in real life. He held his head high and sort of oozed charisma, strutted. In the centre of a group of others, but he was the star. And living in c London, I see a lot of famous beautiful people including top models… but he just had X factor.

@GymShirk WTAF?! 😂😂😂

Yeah, this thread took a turn didn’t it. 😂😩

I don't think you're lying, but if I did, a random photo of someone wouldn't convince me otherwise.

I'd imagine it's that her great body is what makes her attractive. However without seeing her face it's hard to know if her body needs to do much heavy lifting (as it were!) in that regard. It would have been more impactful to see an unattractive face on a great body if the aim is to demonstrate the difference being in shape makes.

I agree. And just a tad bit delusional.

It also doesn't prove that the poster has loads of male attention. I don't think she's lying about that, to be clear, but it doesn't prove anything other than a woman posed for a photo.

Goodness, this took a turn, gymshirk did someone accuse you of lying? Did someone ask you to post a pic? Is that why you posted it.?

id admire your overwhelming self confidence and self belief though, posting an image on a thread like this,and declaring look at me I’m in “great shape”.

“great shape” is subjective, so I’d possibly prepare for the comments that may come.

I would look at getting some help. Probably cbt.

Honestly, I think if you find a hobby you're passionate about and become confident in, you're self supporting and positive. Then there's nothing more attractive.

Being wanted for looks is not good.
But people will want someone who lights up the room with energy and happiness.

Personality makes a huge difference.
Okay maybe not in the straight away instance. But if someone is really nice and fun and passionate, then if you're around lots of people. My theory is people will want to be around you. :)

That's what I've always gone with.

I know a lot of women seem to go down investing in looks. But invest in yourself and if someone sees you for yourself, not your looks, that's the best kind of connection you can want.

I could post ten more photos as proof but yeah that'd be crazy lol. And I'm not really that bothered who believes me tbh.

But I'm trying to help the OP here so I'd rather not make it all about me.

I don't want to sound bigheaded as I'm really not but all my family are overweight and I was well into my 20s. Didn't have my first boyfriend till 25yo and wouldn't have likely had one without getting in shape and improving my self esteem.

Look at my photo and ask yourself if you think I'd have trouble finding a bloke, even if my face was a bit dodgy. That's my point. Most people can achieve a good figure if they work hard, whether or not they have the face of Taylor Swift.

That's my last contribution to this thread. Flame away to your heart's content. I'm not in the least bit insecure.

It would have been more impactful to see an unattractive face on a great body if the aim is to demonstrate the difference being in shape makes.

Well, I'd happily do that but I prefer to stay anonymous tbh. People could easily find my identity on work platforms with a reverse image search.

“great shape” is subjective, so I’d possibly prepare for the comments that may come.

Ok, I said I wasn't going to post anymore.

It doesn't matter what a load of women think. My point is that I've had a lot more attention from men since getting in shape.

Look at my photo and ask yourself if you think I'd have trouble finding a bloke, even if my face was a bit dodgy

I think maybe you have misunderstood. She’s not just trying to get a bloke, as in any bloke. She’s wants a partner.

sure, many women can get find a bloke, get laid whenever they please. Irrelevant of their facial appearance.

But the blokes who are only interested in you for what you consider your great shape, and think your face is a bit dodgey, are not the kind of blokes she’s thinking of.

Or any of us for that matter.

I don't think anyone is questioning whether a healthy weight woman could find a bloke. Most people these days are overweight and most people can attract a partner at least in the short term. Ten photos of a woman don't prove anything except that you have ten photos of a woman.

Reading your posts, I think this is, for you, an exercise (lol) in enjoying your success at maintaining fitness and a healthy weight. Well done, that can be very difficult. It's not got a lot to with the discussion.

Look at my photo and ask yourself if you think I'd have trouble finding a bloke, even if my face was a bit dodgy

You have managed to misunderstand this thread completely. It’s not about finding some random bloke who thinks you’ll do.
You need to raise your bar.