Will try to keep it brief but can clarify/answer questions if needed.
we have 4 children dd15, dd13, ds11, ds7. live in a 3 bed house private rent, 3rd room is box and not ideal but the boys share this with bunk beds, DH and I have one of the double rooms and the girls share the other.
Dd 13 is on the pathway for ASD diagnosis, gets overwhelmed easily, likes things neat and tidy, needs her own space, noise, mess and smells overwhelm her. but she is a high functioning, intelligent, kind girl. BUT her sister is naturally messy, a bit lazy and her putting dirty washing and food packets back into cupboards, drawers etc can make the room smell. she leaves things lying around etc.
We have had countless discussions about this but she is a teenager. DD13 just really struggles to manage this and they often argue.
a couple of weeks ago dd took an overdose after an argument with a friend at school, argument with dad, and an argument with DD15. She really does struggle without having her own place that is just hers.
There is no option to move house, and as we private rent cant split a room and due to the shape cant really divide them using curtain/storage boxes etc
If it was down to me i would sleep downstairs and let the girls have a room each. this would also benefit the boys as they wouldnt have to share box room.
DH is adamant that we cant do this. he says its not right that we dont have a room of our own when the kids can share and it just is completely unacceptable. I see where he is coming from, but it wouldnt be forever and im just so aware that dd13 is struggling and im scared of a repeat of her overdose.
any advice or opinions welcome