Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What would you think if this happened to you?

368 replies

Paintedrockk · 28/07/2023 20:02

Just curious.

Ten years ago when I was in secondary school I was seeing this guy and I was head over heels for him but he never committed. Was just young and naive at the time

Two years after we left school we started seeing each other again but just for sex and chilling together, again he wouldn’t commit, he felt a bit used at the time as I really did like him and my feelings never really went away

He then got into a relationship with somebody straight after ending things with us hooking up and I felt hurt about it as he never committed to me or made things official and I felt a bit used

Fast forward to now they split about 6 months ago and he is contacting me asking how I’ve been saying long time no speak stranger etc. what would you do?

OP posts:
KeepQuietAndMoveAlong · 28/07/2023 20:26

He fancies a shag, and that's because you used to see each other just for sex.

eatdrinkandbemerry · 28/07/2023 20:27

He just wants sex not a relationship so I would just block him

Lonnnngsummerholidays · 28/07/2023 20:27

Thank God you’ve posted about this. He just wants to use you yet again. Don’t fall for that trap. Block him and move on. He ain’t a good’un.

TiramisuTastesDreamy · 28/07/2023 20:29

Please don’t reply…. You know how the script goes by now

Original poster
Paintedrockk · 28/07/2023 20:32

Thank you all. I think he knew I had feelings for him back then as well, I just never felt good enough. weird that I remember this but he ended us seeing each other the second name but didn’t really give a reason he gave this long message telling me that he thinks I’m beautiful and we can still be good friends and then a week later it was announced on Facebook that he was in a relationship after telling me he wasn’t ready for one then

OP posts:
Original poster
Paintedrockk · 28/07/2023 20:34

It was strange back then as I met his mum and everything but he would never make anything official with me or progress anything

OP posts:
Lkahsvtv · 28/07/2023 20:34

Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. Unfortunately I have not always lived this though….

Hiddenvoice · 28/07/2023 20:36

I think he’s just looking to hook up. He will reel you back in with messages about old times etc but he’s just looking to use you again until someone else comes around. You’re better off without him, try not to get sucked back in.

AdaColeman · 28/07/2023 20:39

Do not reply.

Don't get into another relationship with him, it will all end in tears, your tears.

He is hoping to lure you back, but will dump you again as soon as he gets a better offer, and this time it will all hurt you even more.

Work on your boundaries and expectations. Improve your self esteem and value yourself more. Thanks

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 28/07/2023 20:40

Ignore or just reply no thanks. Don’t block him (unless you really fear getting pulled back into his orbit). Blocking makes it all seem far too dramatic. It’s openly acknowledging he has the power to hurt you. Indifference (even if feigned) is the way to go here.

MaidOfSteel · 28/07/2023 20:42

He's just using you for sex until his next relationship comes along. Have a bit more self respect and don't fall for it again.

You deserve better. Block him from contacting you and find someone who treats you with respect and is looking for the same things as you are.

fireflyloo · 28/07/2023 20:44

Block him. He had his chance! I had similar but it was years later and he tried to profess his love lol! I was infatuated with him at the time. I'd moved one and was doing much better with my life so told him to do one!

Original poster
Paintedrockk · 28/07/2023 20:47

Yes definitely. I don’t think he will have changed. He has just messaged me again and apologising for not being in touch before now

OP posts:
IncompleteSenten · 28/07/2023 20:48

I'd laugh my tits off, tell him I was done being his wank sock then I'd block him.

Fuckitydoodah · 28/07/2023 20:50

He wants an ego boost and a shag. If you're up for some casual sex, fine. But don't expect him to have changed.

Newyearnewmeow · 28/07/2023 20:58

Cheeky slimey little bastard. Block and forget about him.

mumda · 28/07/2023 21:06

'who is this?'

Nottodaythx · 28/07/2023 21:18

I would do a who is this, sorry I don’t have your number saved then ignore…

Mayhem3 · 28/07/2023 21:20

Men tend to contact their exes as it’s easier than going on dating sites and finding someone new.

There is a thread running at the moment of what could potentially be a beautiful love story but it’s just as likely that he’s lonely and horny and decided to contact all of his exes, knowing he’s got more chance of having sex with them than being picked from hundreds of other men on a dating site.

If you are interested you have nothing to lose by seeing where things go but I’d keep my guard up just in case.

Original poster
Paintedrockk · 28/07/2023 21:23

I would do a who is this but it was on instagram he has messaged 😂

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 28/07/2023 21:24

mumda · 28/07/2023 21:06

'who is this?'

😂

AnneLovesGilbert · 28/07/2023 21:27

Paintedrockk · 28/07/2023 20:32

Thank you all. I think he knew I had feelings for him back then as well, I just never felt good enough. weird that I remember this but he ended us seeing each other the second name but didn’t really give a reason he gave this long message telling me that he thinks I’m beautiful and we can still be good friends and then a week later it was announced on Facebook that he was in a relationship after telling me he wasn’t ready for one then

Not weird you remember that at all. It’s shameless of him and really hurtful! Anyone would remember it. Use it to reinforce your backbone and just ignore him. I wouldn’t react at all, don’t block him (unless you anticipate a week or inquisitive moment if he keeps bothering you) just don’t reply, ignore ignore ignore.

MrsStrangeViews · 28/07/2023 21:39

He just wants to keep his dick wet.
He doesn’t care about you.
If you want to avoid pain, forget him.

TwelfthGiraffe · 28/07/2023 21:49

I’d ignore. He wants sex on tap now his other relationship has ended. He’s not going to commit. Only respond if you want no strings “fun” because that’s all you’re likely to get.

LakeTiticaca · 28/07/2023 21:53

Seems like he just wants to play hide the sausage. Tell him to bog off and stay bogged off 😉