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Original poster

What would you think if this happened to you?

368 replies

Paintedrockk · 28/07/2023 20:02

Just curious.

Ten years ago when I was in secondary school I was seeing this guy and I was head over heels for him but he never committed. Was just young and naive at the time

Two years after we left school we started seeing each other again but just for sex and chilling together, again he wouldn’t commit, he felt a bit used at the time as I really did like him and my feelings never really went away

He then got into a relationship with somebody straight after ending things with us hooking up and I felt hurt about it as he never committed to me or made things official and I felt a bit used

Fast forward to now they split about 6 months ago and he is contacting me asking how I’ve been saying long time no speak stranger etc. what would you do?

OP posts:
ThatFraggle · 02/08/2023 01:30

OP is enjoying the attention from this thread, and the attention from the guy who wants to pump and dump.

That's why she doesn't just block the number like a normal person.

Find one of the billion other people on this planet (or in the international space station) who will actually have respect for you.

Unicornhornn · 02/08/2023 02:18

I have read through the thread and I’m glad you have posted to get advice because I’ve been where you are now a long time ago and I wish I had people telling me I’m making a mistake to go running back. Obviously for you, he is the guy that your feelings never really went away for.

If I’m being honest, I think he knows that with you he can have no strings attached sex and do all the relationship things without having a label on it and being boyfriend and girlfriend and he knows you haven’t complained about this in the past so thinks you will do it all again. He’s probably feeling lonely after his break up, doesn’t want to start over and meet new people on dating apps as he probably doesn’t want to go through the trouble. He’s come back to you because you’re known, comfortable, you have a history. He knows he can have you where he wants you without that commitment.

Unicornhornn · 02/08/2023 02:20

Please for your own sake, draw a line under this one. He’s in your past. You’ve spent the last 6 or 7 years moving on and living your life without him, you do not need him back in your life

Furries · 02/08/2023 02:36

Am not going to read this thread anymore, as am not sure how many more times I can read posts that (rightly) say the same thing.

OP - all I would says is that you should keep reading the many posts here every time you have a wobble. Do not respond to his messages. Move on with your own life.

This is just me, but I’d probably keep screenshots of his messages somewhere. Just to look back on and laugh at how sad he is. These are the words of a desperate loser/player.

You, if you so choose, have the upper hand here. To move on with your life and surround it with people who enrich you - whether they be romantic or platonic.

He, on the other hand, is the one sending messages that, quite frankly, show that he is so far off being a catch that any fisherman worth their salt would lob it straight back where it came from.

Oldwobblechops77 · 02/08/2023 04:35

Paintedrockk · 01/08/2023 23:54

other message -

also just wanted to add that I think you’re a gorgeous lovely funny person. I’ve missed you and want to get to know you again. I’ll be completely transparent with you I’m not a person that can be in a relationship and I don’t like labels I’d just rather us enjoy each others company but this doesn’t mean we can’t go and do fun stuff together id love to take you out for a drink or a meal or something or a nice walk somewhere

He has literally told you who he is in this one!

Entitled and disrespectful.

He wants all the fun stuff from a relationship…like sex and nice walks … (god he is really pushing the boat out isn’t he offering “a nice walk”!!) and none of the commitment or responsibility… .

Please cut loose!

You are better off blocking totally op but I’d be so tempted to reply along the lines of “thanks for the rather lame offer but I’m looking for a serious relationship with someone who has a bit more back bone” but far better to just block and move on and don’t waste another ounce of energy on this player.

UnfunnyJester · 02/08/2023 04:45

Paintedrockk · 01/08/2023 23:54

other message -

also just wanted to add that I think you’re a gorgeous lovely funny person. I’ve missed you and want to get to know you again. I’ll be completely transparent with you I’m not a person that can be in a relationship and I don’t like labels I’d just rather us enjoy each others company but this doesn’t mean we can’t go and do fun stuff together id love to take you out for a drink or a meal or something or a nice walk somewhere

This is exactly what my friends have experienced. It's like a script or something.
He's telling you exactly what he is going to do - to just sleep with you. He might do something nice beforehand like a walk or drink to suck you in, but then he's going to walk away as he can't be bothered with anything more with you.

thelast5years · 02/08/2023 05:14

Omg he's such a loser. Those messages are embarrassing

daisychain01 · 02/08/2023 06:25

Paintedrockk · 31/07/2023 10:32

He said that if I do go and see him it will be ‘some what of a special occasion’

It will be an amazing and memorable experience for you, OP, you really need to take him up on it. Believe him.

he'll grace you with his solid gold, diamond and ruby encrusted penis, what more could you want.

oh, sorry, the punchline is he'll dump you at 6am the next morning. Just like he kept doing when you allowed him to treat you like a doormat for that year, remember?

enjoy, you should be really grateful, you are The Chosen One.

SnozPoz · 02/08/2023 06:59

FOJN · 28/07/2023 20:05

Block. He just wants sex.

THIS alll the way. He knows you're good for a shag, that is all. Do NOT get involved again, you will get hurt again. Believe me if you give him the knock back this time he will respect you more

Hiddenvoice · 02/08/2023 07:28

Now you know for sure op that he’s using you. I wouldn’t give him the time of day replying, I would just block him. You are not someone’s toy to be played with. You are a person with real feelings and he sounds horrible. He wants to use you but even when he was in a relationship, commenting about her looks in a nasty way is awful. I’m glad the other girl is rid of
him and now it’s time for you to get rid of him.

This man thinks he’s gods gift to women and that he’s irresistible but he sounds disgusting. Don’t meet up with him.

Crimeismymiddlename · 02/08/2023 07:46

These messages give the ick. How embarrassing for him that he is practically begging.
However OP the fact that you have not archived him and are still reading the messages leads to believe you will see him again.

MrsLighthouse · 02/08/2023 08:47

The pattern of your relationship has already been set. He probably likes you …but not enough. I would message him stating you want full on relationships only now and see how fast he drops it. Sorry to be brutal but why go back for more ?

Cactusmad · 02/08/2023 08:59

He has no emotional intelligence, to him u are an object. This is him believe him. Surrounded yourself with people who have ur best interests at heart. This has unsettled you but just before he contacted you u were fairing much better. If you can’t block him hand your phone to another person I bet they will. Time will heal, best wishes.

scotvic · 02/08/2023 11:10

Same. Don’t do it. It will be more pain for you.

PoshHorseyBird · 02/08/2023 12:30

Just completely ignore him dont bother replying at all. Even if he messages again, say absolutely nothing. Silence is very powerful and will say everything.

Ineedaduvetday · 02/08/2023 12:32

I’ll be completely transparent with you I’m not a person that can be in a relationship

Says the man who just left a relationship. Block and move on.

Mistymist · 02/08/2023 12:39

Listen to him. He is telling you who he is - a man who doesn't want a relationship with you.
If you are hoping he will change his mind, you will get your heart broken again.

Just ignore this idiot who thinks he can come back into your life after 7 years. Honestly, it's ridiculous.

tt9 · 02/08/2023 13:02

Paintedrockk · 01/08/2023 23:24

Below is message he has sent -

I can see you have stopped replying. Please talk to me and tell me what’s wrong. Maybe I went into asking to meet you too soon without us getting to know each other again first, I do really care about you and and want to know how you are and about your life so tell me about about yourself. I’m here to support you as well and there’s no need to be shy with me I know we haven’t seen each other in ages but I’ve always had a soft spot for you. I’m very understanding I promise ill keep everything between me and you

just reading this made me nauseous. what a creep! "I'm very understanding" - absolute narcissist.

please block OP!

ladyluck13 · 02/08/2023 13:03

Seriously love, just block him and move on like almost everybody has told you to..its not rocket science, he just wants to use you, and you'd be a fool to let him him..Stop asking for advice when its obvious what you have to do.

tt9 · 02/08/2023 13:04

and tbh even if you just wanted a bit of no strings hide the sausage - he is the wrong person for it because he is an absolutely awful human being.

DNLove · 02/08/2023 13:17

The messages have gotten creepier since I first commented. I would just reply "sounds like you need to get a dog to walk, cuddle and chill out with. I've too much going on in my life and only look forward these days. Best of luck picking your doggie companion"

IncompleteSenten · 02/08/2023 13:21

Paintedrockk · 01/08/2023 23:24

Below is message he has sent -

I can see you have stopped replying. Please talk to me and tell me what’s wrong. Maybe I went into asking to meet you too soon without us getting to know each other again first, I do really care about you and and want to know how you are and about your life so tell me about about yourself. I’m here to support you as well and there’s no need to be shy with me I know we haven’t seen each other in ages but I’ve always had a soft spot for you. I’m very understanding I promise ill keep everything between me and you

It's time you showed him you see through his bullshit.

I have no intention of being your booty call. I've moved on. Don't contact me again.

Cactusmad · 02/08/2023 14:04

Block and sit back in the glow of a near miss. Every time this comes into your mind say stop , won’t take long until he isn’t a thought. Sayout loud, I deserve better. Then believe that ,not a dreg from the past.

Pawprintinmyheart · 02/08/2023 14:34

Maybe he has changed ? You will never know unless you go and see him. He might tell you he realises he is in love with you. I say give him a chance …

Cactusmad · 02/08/2023 14:49

She’s worth more than a cold call , this is her emotions at stake. He’s laid it bare he wants her body. He hasn’t changed he told her then upped the ante. He’s a man child, no different than 7 years ago. Block and move on . Men like this can’t change