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Original poster

What would you think if this happened to you?

368 replies

Paintedrockk · 28/07/2023 20:02

Just curious.

Ten years ago when I was in secondary school I was seeing this guy and I was head over heels for him but he never committed. Was just young and naive at the time

Two years after we left school we started seeing each other again but just for sex and chilling together, again he wouldn’t commit, he felt a bit used at the time as I really did like him and my feelings never really went away

He then got into a relationship with somebody straight after ending things with us hooking up and I felt hurt about it as he never committed to me or made things official and I felt a bit used

Fast forward to now they split about 6 months ago and he is contacting me asking how I’ve been saying long time no speak stranger etc. what would you do?

OP posts:
Lindyloo23 · 01/08/2023 20:38

Agree with other people 100%. He had sex with you and didn’t commit several times in the past. He WON’T have changed. Wonder why he split from his last partner????
Also, agree that I’m sure you’re not the only one he’s contacted. He is just fishing.
Have more respect for yourself. You will only get hurt and feel rejected again.
I would send a laughing emoji and leave it at that. I would block personally because you need to protect yourself.
As an older woman I’ve seen these men before and they aren’t healthy for you.
Save you love and self for someone who is worth it. This guy will just waste another section if your life.
Equally if you say yes to meeting up it will conform to him that you’re always available and easy. Please don’t give him that satisfaction as he’s just doing this for his ego and doesn’t care about how you feel.

Tilllly · 01/08/2023 20:39

Never let an old flame burn you twice

Just stop responding. Your self esteem won't improve if you go anywhere near this manipulative knobspangle

doorstopper123 · 01/08/2023 20:53

Men do this. A lot. been there. Got a few t shirts

you are his between relationships bit of fun/ ego massage person

isthismylifenow · 01/08/2023 21:00

He had his chance to choose you twice before now. And he ended up not.

Why do you think it will be any different now? He's prancing around like 'oh look I'm single now, how can you resist me'...

He had his chance with you OP. He blew it. He doesn't get another chance.

Middleagedspreadisreal · 01/08/2023 21:21

I was you once.
Get out now.
Stay well away.
Move on.
Give yourself some self esteem.
Don't even answer him.
It's not you he wants, it's free sex.

CountessWindyBottom · 01/08/2023 21:25

Paintedrockk · 31/07/2023 11:26

Tbh I do have low self esteem and I was at his beck and call and he knows that so is just trying it on again. For some reason he’s always been that guy to me who I have never really fully got over but I will never be good enough for him. I can tell he is just trying to charm me and it definitely does say a lot about what he thinks about me

Awwww @Paintedrockk, hugs 🌻. You have low self-esteem because of people like this douchebag. I've been in the situation you are in now and it is blatantly obvious that he will behave in an almost identical fashion as to how he did before. He's not even asking you out on a date! He's inviting you to come around to his. And he hopes that you'll be on hand for regular casual sex for goodness knows how long until, again, he finds himself a girlfriend and does this to you again. He has shown you exactly the type of person he is.

It would have been better if you hadn't replied but if he contacts you again just say 'Hey douchebag, I have a really busy and happy life and don't have any interest in meeting up with you. All the best, Paintedrockk

I have a feeling he's going to try and wear you down so if he keeps messaging you after you have replied I would then block him. And don't convince yourself to go see him just because you're horny or anything. He will waste your time and mess with your head. Leave you heart open for someone who deserves you xx

Crimeismymiddlename · 01/08/2023 21:25

Don’t answer, just ignore and if possible don’t even open the message. Thats the correct way of letting someone know they mean nothing to you, don’t block that shows they hurt your feelings and mean something to you.

Original poster
Paintedrockk · 01/08/2023 22:55

@Lindyloo23 I have actually now found out as a close friend of mine who I’ve been friends with since school, knows his ex and apparently it was a deal breaker that he did not want kids but also apparently he would often comment on her looks and what she was wearing and sometimes put her down

OP posts:
Original poster
Paintedrockk · 01/08/2023 22:57

Thank you everybody for being kind in your replies. I have read all your comments and I definitely agree with them all, he is trying to sweet talk me now but I will not fall for it

OP posts:
Original poster
Paintedrockk · 01/08/2023 23:24

Below is message he has sent -

I can see you have stopped replying. Please talk to me and tell me what’s wrong. Maybe I went into asking to meet you too soon without us getting to know each other again first, I do really care about you and and want to know how you are and about your life so tell me about about yourself. I’m here to support you as well and there’s no need to be shy with me I know we haven’t seen each other in ages but I’ve always had a soft spot for you. I’m very understanding I promise ill keep everything between me and you

OP posts:
BadNomad · 01/08/2023 23:28

Paintedrockk · 01/08/2023 23:24

Below is message he has sent -

I can see you have stopped replying. Please talk to me and tell me what’s wrong. Maybe I went into asking to meet you too soon without us getting to know each other again first, I do really care about you and and want to know how you are and about your life so tell me about about yourself. I’m here to support you as well and there’s no need to be shy with me I know we haven’t seen each other in ages but I’ve always had a soft spot for you. I’m very understanding I promise ill keep everything between me and you

he is trying to sweet talk me now but I will not fall for it

Mamanyt · 01/08/2023 23:31

BIock him, ignore him. He's aIready proven that, to him, you are "something (somebody) to do untiI something better comes aIong." You are worth so much more than that. I promise you, you are.

Heyheey · 01/08/2023 23:39

Looking forward to the reunion show on Sunday

ThisMamaNeedsSleep · 01/08/2023 23:41

Absolutely do not respond, DO NOT RESPOND!

Heyheey · 01/08/2023 23:41

Sorry completely wrong thread!

Asunflower · 01/08/2023 23:44

I think he realises his first tactic hasn’t worked, so has gone on the charm offensive. He probably will say anything he thinks you want to hear and probably thinks that you eventually will cave in and go and see him. Tbh it’s insulting and also shows how highly he thinks of himself, to think you will just be still there ready and waiting for him after 7 whole years, especially after just splitting up with the girlfriend he dropped you for.

Isittimeformynapyet · 01/08/2023 23:52

poppettypop · 31/07/2023 02:37

He has a scratch and he want's you to itch it.

Or an itch, and he wants her to scratch it 😂

Original poster
Paintedrockk · 01/08/2023 23:54

other message -

also just wanted to add that I think you’re a gorgeous lovely funny person. I’ve missed you and want to get to know you again. I’ll be completely transparent with you I’m not a person that can be in a relationship and I don’t like labels I’d just rather us enjoy each others company but this doesn’t mean we can’t go and do fun stuff together id love to take you out for a drink or a meal or something or a nice walk somewhere

OP posts:
BadNomad · 02/08/2023 00:08

There you go. He doesn't want a relationship with you. He just wants to do "fun stuff together". His own words. He's not even trying to hide it. You are not girlfriend material to him. Never have been, never will be. Cut him loose.

Original poster
Paintedrockk · 02/08/2023 00:08

Thank you, I will do that

OP posts:
Zonder · 02/08/2023 00:10

Well done OP. He's such a loser.

Strawberrysprinkless · 02/08/2023 01:00

Yeah so he has used his own ways to say it won’t progress to a relationship. He may well have a soft spot for you but he is saying he can never give you anything more. I don’t get how somebody can say they can’t be in a relationship when they were in one for over 6 years. That’s just a cop out saying

Strawberrysprinkless · 02/08/2023 01:01

As in, he is telling you he’s not a relationship kind of person, but he just got out of a long term one

Strawberrysprinkless · 02/08/2023 01:05

At least he’s said that though so if you did go and see him at least you know where you stand and not get lead on thinking it will progress to more. But if you think feelings will come flooding back and you will want more then do not go back there

Everythingsgravybaby · 02/08/2023 01:21

Sorry but every time you update it just gets worse… he is straight up insulting you. Saying you have all these great qualities but basically saying you will never be good enough to be in a relationship with him. He’s just been in a LTR. Like @Strawberrysprinkless has said. Of course he ‘does relationships’. What utter shit that he’s not a relationship person. He thinks he is being all nice and will try and get in your head and trying to get you in your feels so you go running straight back to him. But this time it will hurt even more if you go back and he dropped you for someone else again. It will leave you thinking ‘what’s wrong with me, why am I not good enough’ but it’s not you. You deserve way way better. This is him manipulating you, hopefully you see straight through him. Do not let him.

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