Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the other hens should pay?

269 replies

Issueatwork · 28/07/2023 09:23

Friends hen party in 48 hours in a European city. It’s the first of our group of friends to be married and we’re all really happy and excited for her.

There are 20 attendees, and so the maid of honour found a hotel where she can book 5 rooms of 4, the cost per room for the weekend is £960, meaning £240pp.

The maid of honour chose who goes in which room and did a perfect job, everyone is with their friend/family group and worked out really well.

We have to pay by the end of the month and have been given time to save, however one person in my room has now dropped out due to money issues. The MOH has said the remaining three of us sharing this room now need to make up the £240 lost, so £80 each. This takes the cost from £240pp to £320pp for the three of us whilst the rest of the party pay the same.

If everybody in the party paid the difference it would only be an additional £12.63 each - WIBU to suggest this? I get it’s our hotel room, but could we not look at it as the cost of the accommodation per head has gone up as whole?

Never been to one of these weekends so unsure how these things work.

OP posts:
StGertrude · 28/07/2023 16:52

SunnyFrost · 28/07/2023 15:22

‘Dear organiser, I know X has dropped out which is such a shame. Unfortunately I can’t afford to pay an extra £80 because of her decision and I don’t think it’s very fair that those of us who happened to be allocated a room with her need to cover her costs while no one else is affected just because they happen to be allocated another room. If it’s not possible to get X to pay (which really I think she should, as she committed to the plan) then the next fairest thing would be for everyone to share the increased cost which would only be £12 more each. If the three of us who were allocated to share with X are asked to pay another £80 that makes the trip unaffordable and I would have to pull out too which would just knock a bigger cost onto the others. Please can you look at this again a bit more fairly? If the justification for only is paying is that we would now have more space in our room then I’m happy to move into one of the rooms of four. Increasing the price by so much just isn’t an option for me I’m afraid.’

The organiser is at fault for booking something before collecting payment. Rookie error.

I agree. Really pisses me off when this happens.

When I'm the organiser for things I always get the £ up front, as confirmation that the person is coming. I won't book anything without payment anymore.

Choux · 28/07/2023 16:55

StolenCookie · 28/07/2023 14:46

Outrageous for MOH to suggest the people who happen to be sharing a room cover the cost. This has genuinely pissed me off to read. What F-ing planet are people on?

The MOH is putting the squeeze on OP and her other friends in that room to get the drop out to pay.

If MOH says everyone will need to pay an extra £13 then no one is going to tell the drop out to cough up. By saying the extra cost will on just three people who know the drop out best she wants them to persuade the drop out to pay. In reality she has no option but to split the extra across everyone as otherwise the room of three might all drop out.

diddl · 28/07/2023 17:03

Milk2SugarsAndAShotOfYourFinestValium · 28/07/2023 16:15

😂👏

Show quote history

Anyone else reading that to the tune of "There's a hole in my bucket"?😊😁

MichelleScarn · 28/07/2023 17:08

diddl · 28/07/2023 17:03

Anyone else reading that to the tune of "There's a hole in my bucket"?😊😁

Show quote history

I've got the cast of Les Mis and 'At the End of The Day' with all the big gestures of course!

BlastedIce · 28/07/2023 17:29

Cosyblankets · 28/07/2023 14:24

This is a very good point.
How big are these rooms that they can fit 4 and still cost that price? How much is a double?
If it's a european city i assume you've paid flights as well

Show quote history

I have to laugh at this tangent, not sure OP is bothered what you think about the arrangements. She only had one issue. Everyone apart from one person is going, so presumably happy?

Tatzelwyrm · 28/07/2023 17:55

If they insist on £80 between 3, I would drop out as well

Then it would be more between 2 and show how ridiculous the split is

PatchworkElmer · 28/07/2023 18:03

I’d say you’ll struggle to afford the £80 but could afford it if the cost was split equally between all the hens. If this isn’t possible, can she reallocate you to a room of 4 otherwise you will have to drop out too.

fireflyloo · 28/07/2023 18:09

Can the room not be changed to a triple room?

Apprenticenomore · 28/07/2023 18:22

this is the exact reason why when I organise hen do’s I take a non refundable deposit from all who say they will go at the beginning! If they back out then at least the price increase isn’t too drastic, the chances are the fallout from this could mean a second person will pull out and then it has a knock on effect!!

Twyford · 28/07/2023 18:27

Off the point, but the whole things sounds mad. There is no way I'd pay £260 plus travel costs plus the cost of meals and everything else for the privilege of sharing a room with three others.

BlastedIce · 28/07/2023 18:34

Twyford · 28/07/2023 18:27

Off the point, but the whole things sounds mad. There is no way I'd pay £260 plus travel costs plus the cost of meals and everything else for the privilege of sharing a room with three others.

That’s already been done…

Janieforever · 28/07/2023 18:37

Twyford · 28/07/2023 18:27

Off the point, but the whole things sounds mad. There is no way I'd pay £260 plus travel costs plus the cost of meals and everything else for the privilege of sharing a room with three others.

But the woman going are happy to do it. And that’s all that matters. It’s not really an invite to all randomers the op is giving, she’s not asking if folks want to take the bed.

id happily go with my friends for a weekend hen. and pay it and share with them. As the op said it’s an expensive location. Our group have spent several long weekends in eu cities and shared. It’s fun.

so horses for courses. There are plenty of things I guess I wouldn’t do that others would. We are all different and like different things.

Booksandwine80 · 28/07/2023 18:39

Dying to know what the outing financial thing is? 🙄

benfoldsfivefan · 28/07/2023 18:58

Janieforever · 28/07/2023 18:37

But the woman going are happy to do it. And that’s all that matters. It’s not really an invite to all randomers the op is giving, she’s not asking if folks want to take the bed.

id happily go with my friends for a weekend hen. and pay it and share with them. As the op said it’s an expensive location. Our group have spent several long weekends in eu cities and shared. It’s fun.

so horses for courses. There are plenty of things I guess I wouldn’t do that others would. We are all different and like different things.

Show quote history

But have you shared rooms when you’ve gone on these breaks?

Tapasgoofy · 28/07/2023 19:01

Janieforever · 28/07/2023 18:37

But the woman going are happy to do it. And that’s all that matters. It’s not really an invite to all randomers the op is giving, she’s not asking if folks want to take the bed.

id happily go with my friends for a weekend hen. and pay it and share with them. As the op said it’s an expensive location. Our group have spent several long weekends in eu cities and shared. It’s fun.

so horses for courses. There are plenty of things I guess I wouldn’t do that others would. We are all different and like different things.

Show quote history

Same and yes I always share the rooms too.

GoingGoingUp · 28/07/2023 19:09

Janieforever · 28/07/2023 18:37

But the woman going are happy to do it. And that’s all that matters. It’s not really an invite to all randomers the op is giving, she’s not asking if folks want to take the bed.

id happily go with my friends for a weekend hen. and pay it and share with them. As the op said it’s an expensive location. Our group have spent several long weekends in eu cities and shared. It’s fun.

so horses for courses. There are plenty of things I guess I wouldn’t do that others would. We are all different and like different things.

Show quote history

It’s the typical theme on MN where posters struggle to get their head round others being willing to spend more money than them.

And of course you share rooms, I don’t get the point.

greenteaandmarshmallows · 28/07/2023 19:14

Absolutely should be spread among everyone else in the party. Otherwise its like some weird version of roulette- who's going to tube the lucky room that doesn't have anyone drop out

Moonlaserbearwolf · 28/07/2023 20:36

OP, do you think your friend could at least pay some of the money? You refer to her as ‘flakey’ and that isn’t how I would describe someone who had a one off disaster. Does she have form for this sort of thing? She really needs to find a way to pay. She needs to explore payment options - perhaps pay off in instalments like with any other type of loan?

trampoline123 · 28/07/2023 20:54

Definitely split between all the hens.

Cornishclio · 29/07/2023 08:08

God these two day hen parties abroad are a nightmare to organise. I feel for the MOH but really taking the money upfront before booking sounds a better idea. I would ask if the cost can be split amongst the 19 rather than just the three in the dropouts room. Maybe someone else might drop out and a double room would be cheaper?

SpainToday · 29/07/2023 11:39

My hen night was just a few hours in the local pub!

WasJuliaRight · 29/07/2023 18:50

Didn’t the organiser get a deposit from you all?

RLouiseH · 29/07/2023 19:49

Then she should never have signed up and committed to paying in the first place. Her poor budgeting shouldn’t now be everyone else’s problem.

Poodleydoodley · 29/07/2023 19:55

Imagine if 3 of the 4 in one room dropped out. Would the remaining one be expected to pay £720 extra?!!

SkaneTos · 29/07/2023 20:00

I'm sure these big hen parties are fun, but it seems like a nightmare to organize a trip for 20 people. Too many people, I think!

But I hope everything will work out for you, OP.