To hate going to big weddings ?

[ForestGoblin]

So awkward. So expensive. So "quirky" yet identical. You can't talk to the bride and groom (who are possibly your only actual friends there). The food cost them a bomb but tastes meh. Ditto the booze. Chair covers for £25 a go??? CHAIR covers? So often impossible to get to. Impossible to leave. Just want to go to bed by 10 but that'd be rude. Hate pressure to dance. Hate the inevitable hangover from all the wine I anxiety drunk (going to try to get through one with zero wine apart from the toasting fizz).

But I think other people must love them otherwise why would they keep happening.

I'm with you, OP. I loathe weddings. So boring.

The last wedding I went to (close family so I had to go) was one of the most stressful days of my life. I’m autistic so it was always going to be my idea of hell, but it really exceeded all of my expectations.

For the socially anxious/neurodivergent, weddings are always going to be tough.

Although I honestly wouldn’t think twice about leaving at 10pm!

Just don't go.

Unless you're the parent of one of the couple, you won't be missed. I certainly wouldn't want you at my wedding if you were going to spend the whole evening miserable wishing you were at home. The Bride and Groom can feed someone else a mediocre meal and have someone else enjoy the '£25' chair cover.

I really hope you don't have children. Or anyone who relies on you. People who have no sense on empathy are dangerous.

Are you a snob? I've been to so many weddings and food is always great

I completely agree OP. Weddings are boring as shit. The worst one I went to was one where I only knew 4 other people, there was 3 full hours of photos, a freezing cold barn conversion venue. It started at 10am and went on until midnight and I was stone cold. There was a massive gap between the meal and the evening do and nowhere to go (several hours gap).

I can see others love weddings but I don't like hanging out with strangers for hours on end and hate dancing so for me weddings are torture. I also totally agree with the whole 'unique' thing. Every couple thinks their wedding is unique but they're really not. Same shit different day.

Oh no!! What happened? I am neurodivergent too (I know people roll their eyes about this when you say it but come on why do they all think this stuff is fine while we're hiding in the toilet playing duolingo for 45 mins???) and very worried about the one coming up.

I’m vegetarian, I’ve had some pretty awful food at weddings tbh, once or twice actually just inedible.

Mostly though, it’s fine, not amazing, but fine and it’s not the point of being there, so it doesn’t really matter.

Argggg this sounds awful. I think a lot of people planning their wedding just don't put themselves in the shoes of the guests.

I've been to a lot of weddings. Some stand out as incredible. Some stand out as being awful. Most of them were average, but most things in life are average by definition! I do find they can be quite identikit, but I still enjoy seeing my friends. I have only been to one wedding where I knew no one but the B&G. I still had fun.

But I don't drink and like dancing.

Yes, disliking dancing is never really an issue in adult life, except at flipping weddings.

I do like going to weddings, but I think they have become a bit samey and people are getting bored. I have noticed that the big Saturday afternoon wedding in a Manor house/nice hotel/marquee has been slightly going out of fashion recently and, if people are doing it, it is a 'fake wedding' with the actual marriage taking place in a smaller wedding a few days before. I went to a hen party last year where everyone was saying how they couldn't remember the last time they'd been to a wedding where the couple had actually got married 😂.
Micro weddings also seem popular now where the couple only invite a handful of people but the wedding takes place over a long weekend.

And yes, sorry, chair covers are an absolute joke - no idea how all these wedding venues managed to persuade us all that we should be paying them to cover up their ugly old chairs. Biggest con going 😂.

THIS 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

I’m with you. Seriously expensive weddings but very mediocre food. The trend for the wedding venue wedding means it goes on forever. I don’t drink so that’s not an issue. My brother got married fairly recently at a hotel, sixteen guests. Roast beef served covered in gravy. I asked if I could have it without the gravy and was told no, it’s all plated up! I always feel a sense of dread when an invitation arrives.

It probably came out the plastic bags in gravy :(

The idea that no weddings have good food is nonsense. Two spring to mind for me with outstanding food - one was at a hotel with two Michelin stars, and another a huge Indian wedding.

I like weddings generally, but I have been to some like you describe.

(I actually only had 6 guests at my wedding but I enjoy larger ones all the same!)

Lots of comments from the seemingly outraged but from the poll 2 out of 3 agree with you!

The day is for the bride and groom and the party is the sort of thing they like/think is clever. They can tell themselves it is for family and friends but it really isn’t - and people show because they love the couple, not the day. Yanbu!

I suppose keeping the food hot, whilst it is served to many tables, especially if more than about 80 people is difficult. But I still enjoy going to see family and friends getting married and attending the receptions.

Honestly never found this myself. I had quite a traditional first wedding but food was good, DJ was good and had all my friends and family there, loads of lovely letters (yep it was that long ago) To say what a lovely time they has. There was nothing quirky about it, church, photos, food, speeches, disco and buffet.

2nd wedding abroad and just a party at home.

Have been to loads of weddings, some massive and some more intimate. Have enjoyed most of them whether it's been an all day or just an evening invite, never been to one where the food was bad.

I do prefer the all day invites, I love being part of the whole thing, DH prefers just the evening parties. I can't really remember any that stand out as being awful other than an evening invite where there were only 4 people not invited to the daytime, no food provided, was an hour away and drinks were £12!

I love weddings.
Love meeting new people, never had bad food, love getting drunk and dancing with my new best friends (who I'll probably never see again).

I've never seen the hate. But then I'm fairly extroverted and don't have a stick up my arse which I think helps.

Do you realise how ridiculous you sound? You think everyone should cater for the minority and just because some people suffer from anxiety then everyone else should scale down to accommodate you. Absolutely laughable.

Just thinking about it I went to a birthday party 2 Saturdays ago and they had hot food you had to queue for and take back to your table and eat. Everyone just sat where they liked. Hot food was lamb curry, vegetable curry, vegan chilli, rice, jerk chicken, sausage rolls and some cold food a selection of sandwiches, a mixed salad, cheese and onion quiche. The caterers had huge stainless steel bats of the hot food kept hot over burners. The food was great and really hot and this type of arrangement could be used for a wedding although I accept it's more likely to be a waiter served at a wedding. I had a big sit down roast beef meal/veggie DH and veggie guests had a vegetable lasagna option, served by waiters but if I ever did a large party again I'd go for something like at friends birthday party because everyone seemed to enjoy just going up and getting food as they pleased and served themselves so could take small or large portions. There was some hot food left and the host sent it home with a few people in takeaway cartons.

I'm with you OP, not a fan of weddings. I had one very like how you describe and even I found it exhausting. On reflection, I'd like to have done something much smaller and more intimate