Friend taking ages to text back

[IWannaShout]

I text a friend a couple of weeks ago and she had been on line but didn't reply for a week later. I was honestly starting to wonder if I had done something to make her end our friendship. I reply to her text within a day, because even though I am busy it doesn't take long to reply. Again, I get no response to my message.

AIBU to think that it's just rude. Appreciate lives are busy but it doesn't take long to reply.

Who is demanding an “instant reply”?

Its rude op. You dont know where you stand then. A simple y or no reply. !!

I'm like your friend who doesn't reply and it's purely because I'm busy and is no reflection on friendship. See for me I'm thinking it's only Friday and there's plenty of time to arrange lunch on Sunday so to me it's not priority for me if I'm juggling lots of other things. If I was you I'd just send a text literally saying g what you want so basically 'Hi xxx, texted about lunch on Sunday. But not heard from you. Can you let me know ASAP if you can still make it, as I'm just trying to sort out my weekend plans. Hope you are ok. Love x x '

@vickylou78, I just squeeze a bit out and leave it on my dressing table - given that my testosterone levels are too high now, I don’t think it’s affected the efficacy 😃

But I am not demanding an instant reply! Did you read the full thread??

@Nigglenaggle
I bet your one of the ones who post on here about why you don't have any friend

You’re literally on here because your friend is ghosting you, glass houses pet.

OP, I know how this feels and I hate it. The issue is more about being stuck in limbo with plans than her not replying (but the not replying means you're stuck in limbo). I would send a follow up message and say if I don't hear back by the end of today then I'll assume that Sunday isn't going ahead. That way you make your boundaries clear and you are in control.

@HaddawayAndShite yes love, but I have lots of other friend so that's why I need an answer because if she has decided against it, I can make other plans

That's exactly it, it's the not knowing

Vickylou78, does it not occur to you your friends might also be juggling lots of things and therefore would appreciate a reply so they can properly plan
their day?

A) OP has already sent a second message to try to get an answer

B) it might not be a priority for you, but maybe it is for your friends? Because they might be holding off on other options for Sunday, and finding out from you on Saturday that you can't make it means they've turned other options down for nothing.
Your approach to this kind of communication is stunningly selfish. Only your timescale is important, everyone else has nothing better to do than wait for you to deign to reply.

Yeah I imagine I must piss off some of my friends sometimes (the ones who like to plan in advance) but I'm not flakey so my friends know that if I've committed to a date I'll eventually get sorted to sort out exact time and place to meet etc. I'm a go with the flow type person! Also I think is reflection of my situation in that if I found out the night before or on the morning that I wasn't meeting with friend I wouldn't be looking for other things to do as I'd be happy just chilling or getting some of the many jobs at home done etc. So last minute arrangements are fine for me. I appreciate we are all different though. My suggestion to Op was basically that her friend may just not have given it much thought and just a reminder text may be enough rather than worrying the friendship is over which seems dramatic.

Not letting go of the ego anytime soon then? 'ways people who criticise me must be rubbish people and therefore wrong' 🙄

@Nigglenaggle most posters agree with me so that's okay 😜 I'm glad my 'friend' and yourself are the minority.

My friends aren't shy to just say hey vick can we make a plan?! .. Some of them are just same as me and often take a week to get back to me. My mates and me are group of main friends have know each other for 30 years ago and some from tiddler days though so we are pretty chilled about things though! I must say I'm much more careful with newer mum school friends who don't know me well to text quicker though! But occasionally I drop the ball! Working full time and two young kids is hard!

Some people are rubbish at replying and communication in general. Not people personally I maintain friendships with.

Just an update. Replied late last night. Apologised as been busy but not able to do tomorrow as not feeling well.

I wouldn’t even reply to her. Be busy next time she initiates.

Ah well, I wouldnt bother making plans again with her if she's going to give you such short notice. Strange how she's so busy if she's not feeling well

Think key is have a few friends. Agree be busy the next time op.. i cant be ass chasing people now

Yes it definitely won't be happening again. Just feel really annoyed, I'd already got it in my head that it wasn't going ahead but can't believe she could just let me know

The problem with this is that there was the potential for the OP to keep her Sunday free and then the friend never gets back to her.

People say The Rules was awful (and it was written in a very twee way) but the one where, if someone wants to see you on Sunday they have to be in touch by Thursday is a good one. It would have been okay to send her a message on the Friday to say that you’d now made other plans as you hadn’t heard from her.

People who leave you hanging do so because they aren’t expecting you to take up another offer.

Clearly a brush off - so rude of her!

I’m with you OP. I had to cut off a ‘friend’ who always suggested breakfast/lunch dates for next weekend, then didn’t reply for the whole week just to text me the night before to either confirm or cancel, depending on her other plans. I then realised that I was her pencilled backup plan in case no one of her closer friends was available.