Lost my son this evening, and was in bits. AIBU ... he's nearly 40!!

[RainyWeekend]

Went out for very rare night out with just my 2 kids. Both their partners were otherwise engaged so it was just the 3 of us.

Had a lovely evening, but my ds went to the toilet and never came back! I waited 15 minutes then went to find him, and couldn't. There was no signal in the venue and couldn't get in touch, went to to the men's toilet to find him and couldn't find him anywhere.

I was distraught and felt like I did when I lost him for about 10 minutes in a shopping centre when he was 4! Panicked and worried.

Eventually got a message from him saying he'd gone home as he was ill, and didn't come back and tell me as he didn't want to get in the way of the other people at the venue. He obviously didn't realise I didn't have a signal.

Omg I burst into tears with relief! I just can't believe I was so worried about a man who is nearly 40!

Just though, no matter what age they are, they're still your wee boy.

I can't believe I reacted like I did. Was I unreasonable? Do I need a severe mumnset taking to and head wobble?

God I thought you meant he died!

Well he was bloody silly to just leave and not let you know in person!!! He could have at least phoned from outside. I'd be concerned if someone went to the loo and didn't come back.

Same! 😮

Did you actually go into the men’s toilets? Or say to someone headed in, “could you call out if Jake’s in there please?” ?
I would certainly start to get concerned at a total disappearance for no given reason, but once I’d ruled out toilet problems, I wouldn’t be reaching panic levels until I’d found reception (or venue wifi) and called.
It does a bit OTT!

Surely not when you read the title properly.
It clearly shows she was only in bits briefly and she's asking if she's unreasonable to be upset because he's 40 😂

What did your other adult child do all the while?

I understand your panic, he just vanished without saying anything. I'm glad he's alright and hope you are too

It seems very odd. He was able to get himself home but couldn’t pop his back and say I am sick, I need to go home.

was he very drunk? If I did this to friends or
family they would be shocked at my poor behaviour

Christ are you always over dramatic, look at the title for goodness sake 🤦🏻‍♀️

Ok so was a wee bit tongue in cheek. But did burst into tears when I found out he was ok. But the point really was that even though they are big grown adults. You still worry like they are little kids.

No we were all stone cold sober. My daughter stayed in the venue. He's a good son and really didn't realise I didn't get his text.

For those asking about the toilets, I hung outside them to see if anyone came in or out but nobody did, so knocked on the door and slightly opened it, called his name and asked if he was ok. 4 bloody toilets!!!

"Ok so was a wee bit tongue in cheek. But did burst into tears when I found out he was ok. But the point really was that even though they are big grown adults. You still worry like they are little kids. "

No. No really sorry would not have reacted like that. At all. Bursting into tears? Oh come on now. This is ridiculous. You are too enmeshed with your son.

He probably either pissed or shit himself by accident and shot off home to clean up.

I'd be really cross with him. He's 40! Old enough to make sure he tells you in person he is leaving. If he was sober I'm sure he could have walked back to the table and told you face to face.

I agree that he probably soiled himself - all sympathy here from an IBS sufferer!

Aw I’d be the same op. Things happen to grown men just as much as little kids! It’s perfectly reasonable to worry. How lovely that you have that close a relationship with your grown up kids. :-)

I’d have done the same about a partner or friend tbh, never mind my child!

I think you were being dramatic by panicking after only 15 mins.

I understand why he wouldn’t come looking for you in a crowded bar if he was poorly and it’s just a pain that you didn’t have signal.

Where did you think he’d gone?

Whenever one of my friends takes longer then planned I assume they’ve got chatting to someone.

You only get the first part of the title showing on Trending. So yes, it does read as though her son had died.

Look at the Trending section, you only get the bit about her having lost her son. Given how common it is to refer to a death as losing someone then it seems like a reasonable conclusion to draw.

OP, please change the title.

He isn't dead, thank goodness.

It's completely wrong to make people think a son could be dead.

You were a bit dramatic. But he was also thoughtless.

Exactly.
When you get posters on here who actually have had children die.
completely hysterical .

I too thought he'd died! 15mins! Hovering around the toilets! Burst into tears!

Are you ok OP- or do you have some other issues/problems/back story. This is an extreme reaction to a adult man going to the toilet!

This is a mad over reaction on everyone involved. Your son doing a disappearing act, you weeping and wailing searching the loos then posting on MN with the world’s most dramatic title about ‘losing’ your son and being ‘in bits’. Fucking hell.