To insist my husband not buy this desk?

[Mastmw7g]

We bought a home. One of the rooms is very small and we agreed it would be a place for my husband to work as well as a room for guests, most notably my oldest daughter from a previous marriage who's 20 years old. Then someone my husband knows bought an expensive, massive desk he says he's going to get. There isn't even room for a sofa if he gets this desk. Also, it costs 30% of the whole budget for furniture for the new home. He suggested my 20 year old could sleep with her 10 year old sister when she visits. Or we could get a sofa bed downstairs. I never would have picked this house if I knew there wouldn't be a room for her to have privacy from her much younger brothers and sister.

Ask him how he is going to make that work, don't let him make it down to you to resolve or be the brakes

If the room is going to be used for your husband to work in more often than your adult daughter / other guests to sleep in, it should function primarily as a workspace imo with the option for someone to sleep (e.g on a day bed or blow up bed).

Do you often have guests to the point it would be an issue? I spent ages setting up a guest room and tbh it's barely ever used.

Spending 30% of the whole household furnishing budget on a desk is another thing entirely! What's the desk made out of, ivory and exotic leathers?!

Could you get a bunk bed desk unit set up - so desk with bed above? That would make it a multipurpose room?

Seriously, how much of the house does your husband get to pick things in?

Usually, pretty much a whole of a house ends up to the wife/female partners liking.

I think if it's meant to be his space (especially if it's to work in), it should be his space first, not his space when you don't have guests.

The younger sister won't stay being ten.
The older one doesn't even live in the house & may not visit very often.

Why does the man who lives there all the time not get one thing for himself?
Sounds unfair to me.

He has a desk already, one his company paid for. And he's been using that desk without complaint for years. I don't know why it costs so much. Plenty of less expensive desks move from sitting to standing with the push of a button.

How is it going to work as privacy for your daughter when your husband is working?

I think of you can use the room for both purposes then you should. There will be other desks that fit with a sofa bed.

Id hate the thought of my DD not being able to visit when she wanted to, and to force the exclusion over a desk is really unnecessary

the daughter could share with a sibling, but the desk shouldn't take up 30% of the budget. 2 separate problems.

@Brokendaughter He actually is the one who has final say on most furniture, because he has a lot of opinions. But it's more like I say something I want and then he says no, that sofa isn't comfortable enough to play video games on, I don't like round tables and want a straight edge, that wooden chair is painted white and I don't like white furniture. Then I have to keep making suggestions until he stops saying no.

How can your daughter have privacy in a room your husband works in, and how can he be expected to work effectively if someone is staying in the room?

Does the treadmill get used??

How can your daughter have privacy in a room your husband works in, and how can he be expected to work effectively if someone is staying in the room?

Is that a serious question?

@Flisss We live close to his work, so he had said he would go into the office when we had guests, so he wouldn't have to socialize. He plays games on his computer, too, and watches a lot of videos, and I wasn't sure how he was going to handle having less time for that. My desk and computer will be in our bedroom, so he can always play games and watch videos in the bedroom if he didn't want to play on the sofa with the television.

If the desk takes up most of the room then the daughter can't stay in there. The husband doesn't give a shit, he wants a big fancy desk. It's not fair to make a very young girl share with an adult woman. Neither will be happy. This spare room was supposed to be a spare room and OP is paying for it.

He sounds very selfish OP. It's all about his needs and it's not what you signed up for.

You need to look up studybed.co.uk. I have one and it's incredible!

@roses2 That's a picture of the desk he says he's going to get. He hasn't gotten it yet. He says he'll use the treadmill.

Do you have a picture of the new desk?

Sorry if I've missed it but how often does your oldest dd visit?

If he has paid towards this house he should have the desk if he wants it. Presunably your DD has not invested any money in this house.,

@Iknowthis1 That is a picture of the desk he wants. This the current desk he has.

I think you need to calmly state the point that he is moving the goalposts. That this is not what you had agreed to. But be prepared for an almighty argument. I've a nasty feeling you've been had, OP. He'll say whatever he needs to get you to agree to what he wants (choice of house etc), then do what he wanted to anyway.
Out of interest what would happen if you bought, say, the table you wanted even if he didn't like it? Who's paying?

I don’t think the desk is excessive if he works from home a lot. I work from home full time and would struggle with something smaller. And the treadmill can be out away surely

i also can’t see why it would be expensive apart from the treadmill? Can’t he opt out of that?

To be fair that desk is crammed full. The other desk is ridiculously big though.

@MrsBennetsPoorNerves We lived close to her before and she visited often. Now that we're moving farther away, I don't know how often she'll visit. But I'd like her to be comfortable when she does.