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AIBU?

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Original poster

To insist my husband not buy this desk?

161 replies

Mastmw7g · 26/07/2023 22:57

We bought a home. One of the rooms is very small and we agreed it would be a place for my husband to work as well as a room for guests, most notably my oldest daughter from a previous marriage who's 20 years old. Then someone my husband knows bought an expensive, massive desk he says he's going to get. There isn't even room for a sofa if he gets this desk. Also, it costs 30% of the whole budget for furniture for the new home. He suggested my 20 year old could sleep with her 10 year old sister when she visits. Or we could get a sofa bed downstairs. I never would have picked this house if I knew there wouldn't be a room for her to have privacy from her much younger brothers and sister.

OP posts:
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10
nobodysdaughternow · 27/07/2023 07:51

It's not about the desk.

He wants a room to game in.

If he keeps the smaller desk, he can game for the entire time op's dd stays.

He isn't disclosing the real reason he wants a massive desk because it would make him look like a selfish prick. Which he is.

nobodysdaughternow · 27/07/2023 07:52

He can't game...

Autumnsoon · 27/07/2023 07:57

It’s nice living near your daughter,I live very near mine ..hell would freeze over before I moved hours away from her …was the move something you wanted op .

NowNumber5 · 27/07/2023 07:57

@Mastmw7g

What’s your desk set up like?

Can you have the office/spare room, and he can set up his work space in the main bedroom?

Takeabreather23 · 27/07/2023 08:05

@Mastmw7g you had an agreement when
you chose to buy the house.
Stick to your guns on this one ! Don’t let him over rule you esp that he usually does. You have a say too.
No bed for your daughter because of video games…. Honestly!

SunRainStorm · 27/07/2023 08:10

NowNumber5 · 27/07/2023 07:57

@Mastmw7g

What’s your desk set up like?

Can you have the office/spare room, and he can set up his work space in the main bedroom?

There's an idea- offer to swap workspaces with him.

Takeabreather23 · 27/07/2023 08:14

So yoI move closer to his work and leave your daughter but he won’t even go into the office anyway and has taken the spare room too.
id flip tbh . Just wow

Unless there is food. You are with a child .

Id be selling up and getting yours do a place back next to your daughter. I bet there is loads your unhappy with in this marriage he’s walking all Over you.

someone is going to ask the question … is it just your daughter or both of yours ? Not that I think it would matter with him either way

Oliotya · 27/07/2023 08:14

Compromise is needed here. He can have a new desk, but not that hideously expensive and not quite so enormous. 20 is still very young and I absolutely think you need space to host her, even if it's only a fold out bed in the cramped office. Presumably working and sleeping won't be happening at the same time so there's absolutely no reason the room can't be dual purpose.

Willmafrockfit · 27/07/2023 08:15

how likely is your adult daughter to come and visit?
and what do you suggest he uses to work?

LuluBlakey1 · 27/07/2023 08:16

You can buy desks like the one your husband wants for £10-20 (or even find them free) on Facebook Marketplace. He's a fool to pay a lot of money for one- they are just office tat, thousands of them around that no one wants because they are so ugly and big.

justasking111 · 27/07/2023 08:17

"Executive Office Chair" https://www.officemonster.co.uk/executive-chairs/xenon-executive-office-chair-white-shell-high-back-with-headrest

Spend the money on the right chair with lumbar support adjustable etc. Double monitor arm, malm type desk with drawer and cupboard. Extra drawers modular unit if required. My desk takes the tower/Xbox. Monitors on a narrow shelf unit. Extra desk height unit filing cabinet.

Honestly your husband really needs to think about this design wise.

Executive Office Chair

Executive Office Chair

https://www.officemonster.co.uk/executive-chairs/xenon-executive-office-chair-white-shell-high-back-with-headrest

PoliticallyIncorrectHitchling · 27/07/2023 08:17

So he is paying 2000 dollars for a used ugly desk? Sorry OP does not sound right. You dont seem to like him much and I think hes making sure his step daughter has no where to stay. You have bogger problems I think

coodawoodashooda · 27/07/2023 08:18

One million red flags. What a selfish bastard.

Tiqtaq · 27/07/2023 08:20

Sounds like it's a hard no to the desk.
Reiterate that this needs to be a shared room that works as a spare room and for WFH. DH needs to come up with a solution that is acceptable to you.

readbooksdrinktea · 27/07/2023 08:21

KingOfThieves · 26/07/2023 23:42

The current desk looks extremely small and cramped for routine home working. How much does your DD stay v how much he works at home? The new desk looks like a great upgrade

This. I work from home. Desk space is important.

Thisismeyeah · 27/07/2023 08:24

How big is the room?

Arrivederla · 27/07/2023 08:28

Totaly · 26/07/2023 23:16

I think of you can use the room for both purposes then you should. There will be other desks that fit with a sofa bed.

Id hate the thought of my DD not being able to visit when she wanted to, and to force the exclusion over a desk is really unnecessary

This

BezMills · 27/07/2023 08:35

He's never going to use that treadmill, he's just got the Seenit Wantits. I bet his mate barely uses his too, he probably bought it because some model in the advert was looking all hench and dynamic pretending to run a corporation while walking at his desk. (can you tell I'm a cynic!).

Better off just going for a walk with your morning coffee in a travel cup, than spending dollabucks on a gimmick that you won't even use. Has he even tried writing an email while walking? It's just the dumbest idea.

As for desks, any decent chippie can make a nice corner desktop out of a piece of marine ply, with a custom corner riser, stick some IKEA legs on the bottom and boom. I had one built and fitted in my last house, we pulled it out when we moved and now it's in my new garden office.

I do think he deserves a bit better than his current setup, but the Olympico Deskomatic 2040 - he does not need that.

whumpthereitis · 27/07/2023 08:38

Why the fuck is he willing to pay £2000+ for that? I had a quick look on marketplace and found a similar one for £50. Fucking hell, I was expecting it to be a solid antique one, not IKEA.

On one hand he does need a more suitable desk, but on the other he made an agreement with you, but demonstrates an unwillingness to accept anything that isn’t 100% his own way. He also doesn’t need a desk that takes up so much of the overall furniture budget.

To insist my husband not buy this desk?
BanditsOnTheHorizon · 27/07/2023 08:42

The desk he's currently got is way too small, I agree he needs another one, but not one that takes up 30% of the budget. I work with several screens and wfh, his current set up would give me the rage, he needs a larger desk, to be comfortable and so he doesn't end up with a bad back etc.

He's sat at his desk for 46 weeks a year, how often does your dd come to stay, I'd say his comfort during the work day trumps a spare room?

We've got a sofa bed in the dining room that we use when we've got the occasional guest.

Take a look on market place and/or eBay, there's lots of desks and treadmill for sale that have barely been used.

Twyford · 27/07/2023 08:43

BezMills · 27/07/2023 08:35

He's never going to use that treadmill, he's just got the Seenit Wantits. I bet his mate barely uses his too, he probably bought it because some model in the advert was looking all hench and dynamic pretending to run a corporation while walking at his desk. (can you tell I'm a cynic!).

Better off just going for a walk with your morning coffee in a travel cup, than spending dollabucks on a gimmick that you won't even use. Has he even tried writing an email while walking? It's just the dumbest idea.

As for desks, any decent chippie can make a nice corner desktop out of a piece of marine ply, with a custom corner riser, stick some IKEA legs on the bottom and boom. I had one built and fitted in my last house, we pulled it out when we moved and now it's in my new garden office.

I do think he deserves a bit better than his current setup, but the Olympico Deskomatic 2040 - he does not need that.

This this this.

The novelty value of that treadmill is going to wear off SO quickly.

Monster80 · 27/07/2023 08:44

Mastmw7g · 26/07/2023 23:30

@roses2 That's a picture of the desk he says he's going to get. He hasn't gotten it yet. He says he'll use the treadmill.

Say no? It’s absolutely hideous, before you even address the deeper practicalities. If he can veto you, then you can surely veto him?

Cheesusisgrate · 27/07/2023 08:46

I agree with pps asking how small is the room. I had stand up desk, bike, shelves and we fit comfy single foldable bed.

Cheesusisgrate · 27/07/2023 08:48

Ps yes, i did use the bike while working under the table. It's great boost! Even just standing is good. Massively helped with my back to be able to adjust and change position. Don't get the hate on here

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