To insist my husband not buy this desk?

[Mastmw7g]

We bought a home. One of the rooms is very small and we agreed it would be a place for my husband to work as well as a room for guests, most notably my oldest daughter from a previous marriage who's 20 years old. Then someone my husband knows bought an expensive, massive desk he says he's going to get. There isn't even room for a sofa if he gets this desk. Also, it costs 30% of the whole budget for furniture for the new home. He suggested my 20 year old could sleep with her 10 year old sister when she visits. Or we could get a sofa bed downstairs. I never would have picked this house if I knew there wouldn't be a room for her to have privacy from her much younger brothers and sister.

Is he 14? He’s certainly not very polite.

The current desk looks extremely small and cramped for routine home working. How much does your DD stay v how much he works at home? The new desk looks like a great upgrade

Why does it cost so much? It looks a bog standard hideous office desk. Quite apart from the space issue why does he want to spend so much on it? Why would something just a little larger than the current one not do? Is this some status thing, keeping up with his friend?

30%of the budget for the furniture for the whole house could mean anything how much is this in £. What is his job, his current set up looks cramped, I couldn't work like that. Is he actually making a play station room/ den for himself? Where did daughter sleep at the old house? How much floor space is left if he gets the desk?

He's being selfish, and moving the goalposts.

Neither of which are fair to you

What are you doing married to a fourteen year old who spends his time playing games on his computer, sulks until he gets his own way about household purchases and thinks it's reasonable to spend 30% of the entire furniture budget on ONE item for his own sole use?

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The new desk is nothing special. In fact it’s rather ugly. Is it one of those standing desks where you walk while standing at it. Looks like a cheap Argos job to me.

I was with you until I saw his current desk. That is waaay too small. I couldn't work at that desk.

Is he sure he'll use the treadmill though? I couldn't walk and type at the same time.

Is there a link for the desk? Looks a good size and shape and I am in the market for a good corner sit stand desk.....

DH works from home, 4 days a week, and is fine with a 1m wide desk in an alcove, even with dual monitors.

@KingOfThieves I don't know how often my daughter will visit. We lived close to her before and she visited often. But now we've moved farther away. He transferred to another office his company has, and the new house is close to that office, but it's unlikely he'll be going to the office unless there's food being ordered. He works about five hours a day when he works from home- from 11am to 5pm with an hour break from 12-1.

I must say I don’t think a 20 year old that lives elsewhere needs their own bedroom. The person who lives full time in the house and presumably has also paid for it should have a comfortable office space.

We got a desk off Gumtree for £50. It is huge, solid, has built in cabling and power and is brilliant. The desk he currently has is inadequate for home working but there is no need to spend a fortune to get something bigger.

@Doingmybest12 We're in the US, so the budget was $10,000, which is about 7730 pounds

How big is your desk going to be? Could he have the one in the bedroom and you get a not-massive one in the spare room?

There seems so much room for compromise on this one.

You don't sound like you like him very much. If your side of everything is true I don't think I would either, but why on earth did you buy the house?!

When your daughter comes to stay let him sleep in the office and you and your daughter share the master bedroom. Or tell him that you and your daughter will be staying at a hotel.

This is a very good idea. 👍

That new desk is awful so dated there's much better ones out there now. Personally I'd get a carpenter to create a bespoke one.

I agree with this! Totally different if she was younger and/or would be living with you some of the time but you don’t even know how often she will visit! Maybe establishing that would help with this decision. My parents moved house when I was in my early 20s. I never got my own bedroom in the new house and didn’t expect one because I was an adult who had left home!

I would struggle to work on his existing desk - it looks tiny. As for how much of the budget it takes up, whether that is reasonable depends on how much other furniture you need to buy and whether you will still be able to afford it.

I agree he should have a desk that will fit all his stuff. Our older have no problem sharing or kipping wherever when they come. But I think the amount for it is to much

"Agency Metro Home Office Corner Unit" https://www.officefurnitureonline.co.uk/office-desks/home-computer-desks/?sort=priceHigh

Get a good tape measure and start researching the footprint of desks. He'll want storage to start with. Then measure up for a bed.

Over 2000 for a desk, that's too much for me ,for an ugly desk that isn't the best fit for the room. Based on that I'd be really unhappy and I'd look at other options and be pretty angry.

£2500 for a desk?!

I voted YANBU as your DD needs room to sleep but actually his current desk is tiny and probably not fit for purpose.

How is it going to work when your DD stays and he needs to work?

I think he should get a new desk but if a bed can’t fit as well then perhaps one that extends so it can be put away for when your DD comes?
Or just one that fits the room better.

FWIW I have a corner desk which I got from Amazon for less than £200 and my DD got one second hand for £30.

I would tell him to shop around and he’s paying way too much for it.

@swimminginthesun but the Op isn't asking for a whole bedroom for her adult child, just a space that works as a spare room when adult child comes to say. Clearly her child is very important to her.