To find it upsetting how differently I’m treated with weight on me

[Thesesoundsfallintomymindyo]

I’ve been from size 8-16 (large 16) during my life, on and off. I have to work very hard if I want to be slim, gym 3-4 times per week, watch everything I eat etc. I have chronic kidney stones, which take all mg energy away and I’ve piled on the weight.
I’d say I’m quite good looking when slim, definitely not when overweight, I just can’t carry it off as I have a lot of weight around my face etc.
People just seem to like me more when I’m slim, I’ve noticed it over the years, I seem to get more respect, even my parents seem disappointed in me when I’m overweight.
I’m invisible to strangers and men seem to look at me distastefully or not treat me in the same way as my slimmer friends, when I’m slim, the look at me and stop to let me past etc, even the kids I teach like me more when I’m slimmer and call me pretty etc
I’m exactly the same person, have the same hair, eyes, make up etc etc and yet am treated so poorly
Has anyone else had this?
I find it so wrong and upsetting

I could have written this. I've been very slim and attractive and I'm now a size 18 and do not carry weight well.
People were so nice to me when I was slim, not just men but people in general. I have found as someone that is very overweight, that people think it's ok to give you backhanded compliments or be tactless and it's as if it's ok because if you are fat then you must be used to feeling like crap.
I couldn't feel more different to how I did when I was slim.

ah well there you go! My theory has been (very unscientifically) proven 😄

I was just thinking that most on MN would get the idea that the reactions from my classmates,
were different depending on what size I was! Same professors, same study area (MPA, MS, PhD), same brain, but my fellow students seem to think I was smarter the thinner I got.

I had developed an inflammatory syndrome that required me to use prednisone. Prednisone causes massive weight gain. Weight gain cannot be tackled until you are no longer on the medication. It took 5 years for me to get back to normal.

've been over-weight before. I was over-weight because I lacked self control at the time, ate too much and was lazy. So someone being overweight is a sign that they are potentially lazy, greedy and have no self control, hence people probably see and treat them differently. It's just the way it is.

Tbis excuse is always trotted out but when I was size 6-10 for most of my adult life I was constantly eating pastries and Starbucks high calorie cakes and coffees and gorging all the cakes in the office and I’d have colleagues and even some strangers cheering me on saying they love my appetite etc. I had no self control but because I was thin and 20s/ 30s with a very young face it was acceptable and cute and amusing to people. At size 14/16 I didn’t get the same kind laughter and amused smiles if I told people I ordered takeaway twice in a row or ate a whole cake etc. it’s not about the lack of self control or greed it’s simply because people often don’t like the way fat bodies look for the most part. Especially if you don’t have any other “redeeming features” as I listed in my post above.

There’s an online dating show I watch sometimes and I just cringe when I hear men talk about they like “fit” women. The truth is they usually don’t care about someone’s fitness as long as they’re size 8, with a small waist and pert butt but they’re trying to pretend to be super deep so they just bang on about liking healthy and fit women . There are fat women in the gym and running marathons but I suspect it’s not those women they’re referring to! People should just be honest with themselves.

Got it! Sorry, that was me being dim. It's just on a thread where people are actually arguing they can't help being mean to fatties cos evolution I really thought someone might be popping up to say fat people = stupid (I think someone actually did earlier on) and they know because they used to be fat and stupid but then got brainy and thin so that proves it. It's been that kind of thread!

I couldn't believe how large I got and how rapidly on steroids, it was such a shock. My moonface was out of this world as well.

Now I am tapering down it is gradually going (1.5 stone down on the 2 months since I started dropping my dose). It has been such a lesson though, I was slim my whole life until I had to take steroids. I thought I was fat when anti depressants meant I gradually went from a size 8 to a size 10. Little did I know

Same here OP. It is definitely a thing.

Its not like women are gawking at overweight men either tbh.

YABU

This isn't about people fancying us, it's about how we are treated generally.

I actually find the lack of unwanted male attention a huge silver lining. I hated the wolf whistles. /groping etc (even when conservatively dressed)

What sort of treatment do you expect?

To be treated with the same respect as when I was slim. To not be treated as stupid or inferior

Oh and to not get unsolicited diet /health advice from people who know nothing about my rare condition or treatment

Says it all that you actually have to articulate it. As though you’re not really a human at all but this weird incomprehensible species.

Exactly.

Yet I am the same person I was when I was slim.

She mentions her parents treating her differently in her opening post. What does gawking have to do with it? Does anyone actually want to be gawked at??

The UK and US are mostly obese. So I doubt any sort of treatment like that is purely based on your weight.

Sounds like it's your insecurities attributing perceivably negative exchanges to your weight. Just cause it exists in your mind doesn't make it real sorry.

Really don't tell me what my experience is. I was slim my entire adult life until a year ago when I started these meds

A lot of women on the thread have shared their experience. Is it in all of their heads? While you don't actually seem to have read and understood the opening post, so not sure why you're so confident in dismissing what others have to say about their own lives.

It is what it is. Why do very rich not very handsome men (thats being kind) often have beautiful wives/girlfriends.

What does that have to do with the OP's parents treating her differently since she's gained weight? Or the people she works with?

That's my opinion. Everyone wants to paint themselves as victims. Being overweight is a Western world luxury, not a punishment.

Just cause it’s your opinion doesn’t make it real sorry.

Well, in the wealthy Western world it's the poorest people in society who are most likely to be obese. So it's not exactly a luxury. It's not people lying on velvet couches gorging themselves on roasted swan.

Sure

Doesn't make it any less of a western luxury.