Sisters in law

[Facing40andfrazzled]

My bil started dating a girl about 3 years ago both are in their early 20s and the youngest in both families… Ashley( not her real name) was lovely to begin with but over time I noticed a slight hostility to me and my dh which gradually increased and spread to dh other siblings and their partners … they are getting married in 3 months and here lies the problems ….my lovely daughter was initially told she was flower girl we said we would pay for her dress etc to help out which we did the dress arrived and Ashley asked to see it on my girl …she looked beautiful and was so happy with the fairy style dress that had been selected by Ashley … 2 days later I get a text from As mother how dare I over dress my brat taking attention away from A and that was not the dress agreed on ….next was a call from my mil followed by all 3 other Sil berating me for spoiling As wedding by picking a totally ott dress for my girl ….now my girl has been removed from the wedding party and I have not been invited to any of the 5 hen parties/ bridal showers … the latest attack happened at a family dinner where dh my girl my 2 sons and myself were torn to shreds by his family …we are snobs we are selfish we think we are special with our big house and fancy cars …we have our own business that we worked our butts off to make successful….I stood up and said that was it we were done with her and her poisonous spite and we all left the problem is we agreed to host her wedding party on our property and I just want to say no get a new venue but dh says that would be descending to her level and we should be the bigger people …AIBU if i want us to descend to that level

@@ReluctantFishLady …this has been building for quite a while if I gave all the examples etc of how this developed I would still be writing this next week ….the dress incident and final family dinner were the straws that broke the camels back …I explained that it was A who picked the dress but she told every one it wasn’t that I changed it to make my child stand out she has twisted her way into everyone of my laws minds where everything my family does or does not do is somehow an insult to them ..she has even tried to bad mouth us to clients family friends etc …

She sounds threatened of a child?? Bit unhinged 😂 I don't think I would feel overstaged as a bride by a kid in a pretty dress. Sounds like she has issues.

Yeah over my dead body would she be partying at my property

Rent your field out to farmer for their live stock in time for wedding 😆

@Kittykat9070 if you read my post you will see that it was As mother who called my girl a brat and yes I did call her and tell her what I thought of that but A has everyone convinced that I changed the dress she picked ….and you should have that reflux issue checked out ..

This.... you could even be nice and remove the livestock before the wedding. It'll be lovely having had a herd of cows in it for a month beforehand 😊

You’re not even invited to the wedding. Obviously they won’t be having any kind of wedding celebration anywhere near your house. If they’ve been as vile as you describe I’d never set eyes on them again. No one pulls my kids out of their wedding over a dress and upsets them. That would be it for me

You've surely got emails or messages that confirm the bride chose your daughters dress? Not that it matters as my big field would be closed to the wedding now but on principle I'd share the evidence of dress choice

5 hen parties, hubby, brat...... are we playing Mumsnet bingo?

Oh dear lord

Wow

I'm sorry, am I missing something here.....

They chose the dress and you just paid for it, right? So when they started ranting at you for overriding them, what was their response when you (presumably correctly) pointed out that she's wearing the dress THEY fucking chose/told you to buy?

I genuinely don't understand.

No idea why people are being off on these replies...

Anyway, no way would I be hosting the wedding. They can find a new venue for sure. Stand your ground. There's no way I'd allow anyone to call my child a brat.

I'd be sending a bill for rental of the field! 🤣

Is Ashley very ugly with no hope of looking better on her wedding day? Does everyone really think she will be outshone by a child? If so then poor woman, how sad to have such low self esteem and looks that not only you know it but everyone who loves you is reinforcing it.
Definitely no to using your field to unpleasant, rude family. You wouldn't allow random strangers to behave in this way, don't allow people who are supposed to be your on your side(family).
Your husband is not rising above, he's showing he is wet!

Well if that's the case it is botdering on harassment and I'd be inclined to deal with it as such. She certainly wouldn't be enjoying a jolly old knees up on my land if she had led a campaign of lies and slander against me and my family.

This isn’t ‘rising above’, this is tattooing ‘doormat’ on your forehead and lying down in front of them.

’Rising above’ would be letting them use the field after they’ve all made a full sincere apology and re-included your daughter in the wedding party (i.e. being gracious enough to not hold a grudge).

Please note, I personally would absolutely hold a grudge and tell them to fuck off no matter what sort of apology they made but I’m not a ‘rising above’ sort of person. 😁

Is your husband always this pathetically wet when it comes to putting up with abuse of his wife from his family? If so, while you do have an Ashley & co. problem, you also have a serious DH issue!

I’d definitely be petty if anyone treated my children like that.

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You’ve already outed yourself. Let’s see a piccy of the dress.

How long is it till the wedding? If its not long and there is little chance of finding an alternative venue in time then I agree with your dh, if its ages and the planning is in the early stages then I would withdraw the offer.
I'm also wondering what the field is currently used for, as previously mentioned, if its being grazed then it might need a de-poo before the wedding. If not it will need either mowing or topping, maybe you are already doing this but if not do they expect you to make all the effort or pay someone else to get it wedding ready?

I'd just respond with "you can bippity boppity the F off if you think the wedding is still going ahead on our land" and leave it there. Failing that, a few cows to 'cut the grass' the week beforehand would suffice.

Mainly because I love that phrase and stealing it 😂

What time of year is it most beneficial to manure a field?

Consider it as a lucky escape.

Tell them to bippity boppity off and find another venue.