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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband wants separate accomodation on holiday with my sisters family

157 replies

Luna02 · 23/07/2023 13:34

We’ve agreed to go on holiday with my sister, we’re just about to book the accommodation. We’ve chosen a big house for everyone to stay in. Now my husband says it’s too much to stay with them, too many kids. He wants us to get separate accommodation and just meet up with them whenever.

I understand his reasons, the kids are very wild when together and ours are calm when on their own. My sisters kids are very wild from first thing in the morning until they fall asleep (very late). Not sure how to bring this up to my sister. Husband says he won’t come if we’re staying with them.

AIBU to suggest to sister we get separate accommodations?

OP posts:
Zanatdy · 23/07/2023 15:51

Agree with your DH, I don’t like sharing either, and if means hyper kids all day long, hell no

MissHarrietBede · 23/07/2023 15:52

Probably want you to look after their children too.

I was thinking this, and expecting you to discipline her wild kids.

MillWood85 · 23/07/2023 15:52

I can see what your DH means but 2 separate places are going to cost a lot more than 1 shared. Kind of changes the whole holiday vibe. It's for a week or two, not for life.

10HailMarys · 23/07/2023 15:53

Luna02 · 23/07/2023 14:14

I’ve said to my sister now, she’s said she’s going to have a think about weather she’ll go. Her heart is set on this villa, but I don’t think they want to spend the money on that villa on their own.

This is very much her problem and not yours. She sounds like a pain.

Fizzology · 23/07/2023 15:54

Do your dc like being with their 'wild' cousins? If so, I'd consider it. If they fight or put themselves and your dc in danger, not so much.

Your dh is being perfectly reasonable, though.

Would YOU prefer to share the big villa with your sister and family or would you prefer your own space?

converseandjeans · 23/07/2023 16:00

Perhaps it’ll make her think about how wild her kids are that people don’t want to be in the one villa

Agree with this. It sounds like she wants to share cost by having you along as well. She's not worried about her children impacting on everyone else by staying up late. So you shouldn't worry about asking to stay separately. I presume it's not going to be cheap.

readbooksdrinktea · 23/07/2023 16:00

Luna02 · 23/07/2023 14:14

I’ve said to my sister now, she’s said she’s going to have a think about weather she’ll go. Her heart is set on this villa, but I don’t think they want to spend the money on that villa on their own.

Sounds like you were invited mainly to help her pay for her preferred accommodation. Good that you found out now, I guess.

Stillcantbebothered · 23/07/2023 16:03

continentallentil · 23/07/2023 15:47

Oh sorry I just saw you updated.

She’ll come I am sure, she’s just having an (understandably human) mini sulk.

Given your husband pulled this at the last minute, could your husband have a helpful hunt some two house options that you can send her. A bit of an olive branch would be a good move.

How is it last minute when they haven’tbooked anything?

Wheresmyrobe · 23/07/2023 16:03

I completely agree with your husband.

However, I think you should have gone back to your sister with an alternative instead of just saying no.

category12 · 23/07/2023 16:06

Luna02 · 23/07/2023 14:14

I’ve said to my sister now, she’s said she’s going to have a think about weather she’ll go. Her heart is set on this villa, but I don’t think they want to spend the money on that villa on their own.

Bit manipulative that, don't you think?

This villa with everyone or I won't go at all 😶

I can understand her being a bit disappointed but that's very cut off your nose to spite your face. I don't think you should back down.

viques · 23/07/2023 16:07

Luna02 · 23/07/2023 14:14

I’ve said to my sister now, she’s said she’s going to have a think about weather she’ll go. Her heart is set on this villa, but I don’t think they want to spend the money on that villa on their own.

Then they can invite friends to share, preferably friends with noisy kids…….

gogomoto · 23/07/2023 16:11

Find an alternative eg two gites sharing a courtyard and pool (I've done this in the Vendee)

Notmineagain · 23/07/2023 16:15

With your dh too. Can't stand naughty, wild children so it will be a hard NO from me too.

Viviennemary · 23/07/2023 16:16

Going on holiday with badly behaved children won't be much fun. Sharing accommodation even wk4rse. Tbh I wouldnt go on holiday with your sister if I were you.

SamphiretheTervosaurReturneth · 23/07/2023 16:20

Don't let her guilt you into anything. It does sound as though you were the holiday option that gave her more for her money.

justanothermanicmonday1 · 23/07/2023 16:23

SecretVictoria · 23/07/2023 13:35

I’m with your H. That type of holiday would
be my worst nightmare.

Ditto🤣

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 23/07/2023 16:26

I know you’ve told her now, but I’m with your husband 100%

Her reaction is quite telling too

Iolani · 23/07/2023 16:27

I’d have separate accommodation.
Your db is not being unreasonable.
We all have our limits and it’s supposed to be a holiday.

caringcarer · 23/07/2023 16:28

Ok your DH wants separate accommodation task him with finding it.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 23/07/2023 16:30

Her heart is set on this villa, but I don’t think they want to spend the money on that villa on their own

Yes, I thought that would be the case, but am still with your DH on this

No point in spending all that money just to suit your sister if the holiday will stress you out, so like PPs I'd find something different - then if she doesn't want to go I'd simply make my own arrangements

ActDottie · 23/07/2023 16:37

ticketstickets · 23/07/2023 13:37

look for the type of place with shared grounds but seperate houses/apartments. Much more enjoyable for everyone.

This lots of places have multiple accommodation.

LuckySantangelo35 · 23/07/2023 16:37

I’m with your husband for sure

3luckystars · 23/07/2023 16:40

I agree with your husband. By any chance does your sister want you all to go together so she can check out of looking after the children, and leave you and your husband in charge of calming all the children down?

Apologies if I am way off there.

hopeishere · 23/07/2023 16:55

Agree with your husband.

Can you have a quick look for accommodation in the same area that might suit? So you can present her with an alternative. What does she like about the villa- pool / size / location?

Munches · 23/07/2023 16:56

SecretVictoria · 23/07/2023 13:35

I’m with your H. That type of holiday would
be my worst nightmare.

Yeah mine too. Fuck that.