My DD told me to get an abortion.

[Wowokthanks]

I've name changed because I know a few people who use MN,

ah yes, I have one of those too... it's tiresome.

Why? Because your mother had another baby and dared to think ahout things other than you?

Absolutely mental.

I assume all these women would be fine being policed bu their daughter and told to have an abortion.

Absolutely ridiculous, the majority of these posts. They must live in a world where everyone has 2.4 children spaced precisely 2 years apart.

It's no wonder there are spoilt selfish entitled young women like this DD , going by the example the women on this thread are leading.

No. Because it's my mother's house and her decision that I would have no say in, rightly so, but I also wouldn't be thrilled at all about crying babies and toddlers all the time when trying to finish my education and have a social life. So, I'd do what I could to remove myself from the situation.

From what OP has said this is out of character for her DD, I don't think it's aspirational that you create an environment and dynamic where your children can't say how they feel to you. In this case of course it's right that OP talks to her and says that it's an unacceptable thing to say, but I actually think props to OP for her daughter feeling she can be honest with her about how she feels. As many have said on this thread much of the time teens will talk to their friends out of fear or worry of talking to their parents; that's sad.

Well reassure her that you're financially stable.

Tell her she never has to babysit.

She's got GCSEs coming up and remembers heard the last baby crying day and night. OP is going to be twice as distracted with a toddler and a baby. The toddler won't miraculously sleep through every night.

She'll need her own quiet space to get a full night's sleep and personal quiet space to revise.

My advice organise this now. Furniture, decor to enable her to get peace and quiet.

My teenage son caught hand, foot and mouth from his nieces. But he was much sicker and his finger nails came loose. We had to ban sick grandchildren while he was doing GCSEs and ALevels after that.

I imagine this all about feeling" surpless to requirements" One sibling was manageable now she will have two close in age ,she's probably wondering where she fits into this new family group. She is obviously much loved but at the moment she probably needs alot of reassurance. Teens need so much help to navigate life . Parenting them is so hard.

She sounds like she has a good head on her shoulders to think that finances should be a consideration when it comes to having children. The girl will go far with that attitude. She just needs to realise that she doesn't get to decide that for other people.

No she doesn't have a good head 🤣🤣

All shes worried about is her money tree, she is not assessing the financial situation of her mother altruistically.

Valid if she said she felt pushed out or big changes etc.

You need to get am abortion because I want the money is not to be applauded.

That's a truly awful thing to say

Funded by who?

It is , isnt it?.

Dd said it, not me.

I haven't read the whole thread so sorry if this has already been asked...

Do you make her babysit a lot?
Does she have to be quiet "because of the baby?"
Do you have endless Peppa Pig on the TV?
Does her current sibling scream and tantrum regularly?

My bad. I didn't realise you knew her personally.

i remember being told by my parents my dmum was having a baby when i was 14

i was horrified never said what the op daughter did but didnt speak to them for a while
all settled when my dsis was born i never babysat and we get along now but was hard going for a few years

🙄
So you who doesnt know her can claim she has a good head but I who doesnt know her cant weigh in?

Nothing about any of this thread, not one part, has showed me she has a good head.

Ignore her horrible comment. I hope she apologises as she really does not sound like a nice person at all.

Same. In the (extremely unlikely) event of me getting pregnant, my teenage kids would NOT be pleased. They don't like babies and it would be very disruptive for them during their exams. Households always gear themselves round babies, so they'd feel - rightly - that their needs hadn't been prioritised. I wouldn't expect them to be delighted either, as I'd have felt the same if I was them.

I think the OP's daughter just doesn't want another baby in the house. Can't say I blame her.

@Jigslaw but she didn’t just express how she felt, she told her mum to have an abortion! Then started discussing her financial situation, as if it has ANYTHING to do with her (beyond being housed, fed and clothed, which she is- it doesn’t).
Absolute cheeky little madam.

Then she could say that, without being so cruel.

Tough shit? She doesn’t pay the bills.
since when to teenage dependents have equal say in household decisions or the reproductive choices of their parents.
Mind blowing.

I said "she sounds like..." because I can't know for sure any more than you can know.

Linking finances and having a baby is smart whether you think she has another motive for saying it or not.

Well of course she doesn't pay the bills, she's a child. That doesn't mean she has to like or welcome every choice her parents make. Very few teenagers are going to welcome a screaming baby into their lives in the middle of GCSEs/A-levels, just as they're entering into adulthood themselves.

You think abortion is wrong? I am pro choice.