Family holiday. How should the costs be split?

[Sallyrush]

3 families looking to hire a Villa. (Siblings. Not sure if relevant or not)
2 families are 2 adults and 2 kids, other family is 1 adult, 2 kids.
Families 1 & 2 (2 adults, 2 kids each) think Villa should be split per family.
Family 3 (1 adult, 2 kids) thinks the cost should be split per person, their reason being they have 1 salary to pay for the holiday, other families have 2 - all adults work full time.
Families 1 & 2 feel they all use same facilities so it’s per family.
Family 3 would also like to split costs like food per person but other families think this is petty.
who is right?
YANBU. Families 1 & 2 are correct. Split per family
YABU Family 3 is correct. Cost split per person

One double room = same cost for single person or couple. I am a single parent and when I go away with family I pay for my room. If I go away with my DB and SIL I don’t expect them to pay 2/3rds and me 1/3rd. I’d be embarrassed to even suggest it!!! I get a double room to myself and I fully expect to pay for that. When we eat out we pay per adult. I think your family have been very accommodating to give you a double room for half price effectively.

Accommodation split by room. So each family uses 2 rooms each so this is split 3 ways. Food split per person

Think it should be down to how the rooms are shared.
Is it one adult room one child room per family? Then split 3 ways. If it's single parent sharing room with children then split per number of adults.
For food if you split it per family the single parent is paying more money for food they and their children won't be eating and will be subsidising 2 adults, which is not fair in my opinion.

I’m not asking them to pay less though. I’m asking each adult to pay an equal amount. If I went out with a friend who didn’t work, no I wouldn’t expect to pay for them, but not asking anyone to pay for me.

You say that none of the three families is particularly hard up, so I think it is disappointing that you aren't all being more generous with each other.

When I've gone away with family, we have the same disagreement, but it's the other way round, with everyone saying, "No no, you shouldn't have to pay more, that's not fair on you, I should pay more." I appreciate that that probably seems tedious, but whatever the eventual arrangement, we all feel that our relatives are kind.

Costs should be split per person.

If you booked into a hotel that's how they would charge.

Well actually no.

Most hotels charge a room rate regardless if it is one or two people in the room.

If you were booking a hotel + flight situation, the price is calculated per person so absolutely should be the same for a villa & food.

It may seem petty to you but as a single parent it will probably make a big difference to them. For the sake of not having an argument and helping them out I’d go with family threes plan. Accommodation I’m on the fence about but food they shouldn’t have to absorb the extra cost having one adult less an this should be split pp for sure

YABU

We would split cost 4/4/3. If money was no object then splitting equally could work. I would feel cruel making the single parent family cover more. Perhaps you feel you shouldn’t have to cover more, however our friendship groups always try to pick up a bit more if we know someone has a bit less. This evens out over the years.

One thing I would say though, is if two families are already calling the request of the single parent family petty, they will probably feel resentful if they cover per person. Holidays and resentment don’t mix. I would naturally want to do larger food shops without saying anything etc so the single parent wouldn’t feel guilty and make sure they knew they were welcome to anything. So unless you genuinely are happy to cover a bit more it won’t work.

It seems as though the first two families are being a little inconsiderate and showing little compassion. But perhaps you aren’t that close.

Cost per person. Fairest way and how any other holiday would be calculated.

So I often go away with my girlfriends and our children (aged between 2-7) for the weekend. 3 of us have 1 child each, one of us has 2 kids and the other had 3 kids and we split the costs of our accommodation and food per person, so the person with 3 kids pays x 4, 2 kids pays x 3 and the rest of us x 2… it’s the only fair way to do it in my opinion!