Family holiday. How should the costs be split?

[Sallyrush]

3 families looking to hire a Villa. (Siblings. Not sure if relevant or not)
2 families are 2 adults and 2 kids, other family is 1 adult, 2 kids.
Families 1 & 2 (2 adults, 2 kids each) think Villa should be split per family.
Family 3 (1 adult, 2 kids) thinks the cost should be split per person, their reason being they have 1 salary to pay for the holiday, other families have 2 - all adults work full time.
Families 1 & 2 feel they all use same facilities so it’s per family.
Family 3 would also like to split costs like food per person but other families think this is petty.
who is right?
YANBU. Families 1 & 2 are correct. Split per family
YABU Family 3 is correct. Cost split per person

I went on one holiday with my sister in law and her husband and never again. I was heavily pregnant and they did not have children so 2 adults apiece. Thankfully we had our own accommodation but we ate together and shared the costs equally. They continually chose the most expensive items on the menu, and as we didn't have much money and a baby on the way we chose the cheapest. I wanted us to pay for what we ate but dh wouldn't hear of it!

In that case, villa is split 3 ways as each family gets 2 rooms (and there is 1 spare, but I wouldn't quibble over that.

Food should be per person, or the single parent is subsidising the other 2 families. Also shopping bills should generally exclude alcohol or things like nappies that not everyone will use.

Sorry to hear that your siblings' initial responses to your (in my opinion, perfectly reasonable) suggestion about splitting the holiday costs were hurtful and didn't take your point of view into account. Perhaps they were both having bad days when you first raised this, and later simply thought it through properly, or perhaps they subsequently talked it over with their partners, who did see your POV.

Anyway, it's good to know that you've now reached a compromise that you're all happy with. I hope you have a brilliant holiday. It's especially nice to think of all the young cousins being excited to spend time together!

Of course it should be PP.

We often holiday with SIL and nephew and we never expect her to pay half. We always work it out per person.

Family 1 & 2 are cheeky fuckers.

It's her subsidising her siblings holiday not the other way round! As a PP suggested if this was a trip to legoland and not a holiday would the single sister still be expected to pay the same?

If they are all sharing the same facilities then the other families are taking up more space.

It's per adult, those suggesting otherwise are selfish and greedy! We'd never expect single SIL to pay the same as DH and I!

You know at some stage in life you or your DH won't have their spouse around. You best hope people are kinder to you than you are to them!

I go away with my friend every year. We both earn pretty much the same (NHS) salary and both single parents. She has 1 dc and I have 2 all roughly the same ages. I always insist on splitting 5 ways as why should she pay more because I have one more child. However ethics is a friendly banter every year as she always just wants to split it. On the rare occasions I have gone with others with two adults the same applies so I end up paying less than them.
No fall outs just a healthy respect for people who are close enough to go on holiday with.

It sounds like none of you can afford a holiday and are trying to make it cheaper whichever way you can. Therefore sack the whole thing off!

Why a villa and not hotel rooms? To have the convenience and space of an entire villa. Your accommodation costs aren't just for the bedrooms but for the entire place so it has to be per person, or if feeling particularly persnickety work out what percentage of the overall accommodation cost is for communal spaces and what percentage for rooms and then split per person, and if you're being nice then children will be weighted lower than adults.

If anyone feels as though it's unfair that the single parent is getting a whole room to themselves, they must not like them very much or be secretly desperate to be single themselves. Just imagine how hard it is being a single parent, wealthy or not.

We had this situation in June. 2 families of 4, 1 couple no kids, 1 single person no kids. This was me and my siblings. Given our single sister on one income living alone we absolutely made sure she was comfortable and able to come on holiday. We had a large villa, 4 kids shared rooms, cousins of similar age. Families of 4 always paid that bit extra. Single person paid a lot less. I am one of the families of 4, while I paid more than couple and single person, I fully expected to since I have more of an expense dragging along my husband and two kids. Brother and wife also had no issue paying more given they were the other family of 4.
Villa cost was split per adult, paid our own flights. We had a ‘Villa Fund’ start of the week family of 4 put in €200, Couple €100 single person €50. We bought a few days worth of breakfasts, lunch bits, beers, snacks and drinks and topped up at that ratio when needed. When we went out to eat we split the bill as we would back home although made exceptions for single person to pay less. Wouldn’t expect her to pay the same as a family of 4 for eating out.

no pettiness, no arguing and we all had an amazing time. First time holidaying with my siblings in such close contact as adults and we all had a blast. Everyone just done their bit tidying, feeding the kids, nipping to shops etc. One of the most chilled holidays I’ve had in years with my kids, there was always an Aunty or uncle or big cousin around playing with their kids or mine so you got the chance to grab a break not feeling like you had to have eyes on the back of your head - I’d thoroughly recommend it if you all get on really well

Per person.

Per family as it should go by the rooms used.

Each family has 2 kids, so the fairest way is to split by adults. The 2 families with 2 adults pay 40% and the family with one adult pays 20%

That is because they will benefit. It should be per adult. It reminds me of nights out where the person who drank loads of wine, ate 3 courses then at the end of the night say let's split the bill, and they end up paying less than they ate and drank. I do see both sides, but think it should be per adult. And the food should be per adult too.

It isn't a case of one family subsiding another, or one family only having one salary. The fact is that two families have 2 adults and 1 family has one adult. So the 1 adult family should pay less. If the two adult family only had one person earning they should still pay for 2 adults.

Family 1 36.3%
Family 2 36.3%
Family 3 27.4%

Of villa cost

This

Villas are priced based on the amount of people using it, so random numbers 500 for 3 people, 600 for 5, 700 for 7. You’ve stated they all have the same number of children, so based on that they are equal in what it’ll cost.
However, the single adult is subsidising the other adults because the cost increase is based on water, linen, towels usage and housekeeping.
so couples should be paying more than a single individual.
food definitely split per person.

The single person should not be paying for the couples which is what they would be doing if it was split per family. I would hope the 2 couples would want to help their lone sibling and make life as easy as possible for them. Surely they wouldn't hear of them subsidizing the couples by paying more than their fair share. The single sibling will still be paying every bit as much as the people in each couple. They just won't be paying an additional amount to help out people with dual incomes who don't need the help.

Family three would pay the same amount for their holiday if they went alone with two kids to say centre parks as would family one & two

The audacity of them saying they agree to split alcohol per adult. Would they have actually dared to charge you double what each of them were paying? So they would have said 'right, that's 30 pounds each apart from you, Sallyrush. You can pay 60 pounds.' How nice of them to agree you don't have to pay double!

Your sister's wrong. By paying the same per family you would be subsidising her and your other sibling.

If the bedrooms are all a similar size, split it by room
would need nine rooms for all the children to have their own room - but other than that, the couples shouldn't be required to subsidise the single parent.
Food split per person seems fair rather than petty.

If you're that penny-pinching, charge a single supplement to the single adult. I suppose you could charge per room (who is getting the seventh one?) And then break up the food 40/40/20 for the adults and equally for the kids. If two of the kids aren't sharing then you could say they need to pay for that privilege so one family actually pay more than the other two... Otherwise charge PP for the whole thing.

Food should be spilt per person.
Assuming that the single parent isn’t a high earner, then splitting the accommodation costs 2/5 2/5 1/5 would be a nice gesture, as obviously things will be more difficult for them financially generally speaking.