Family holiday. How should the costs be split?

[Sallyrush]

3 families looking to hire a Villa. (Siblings. Not sure if relevant or not)
2 families are 2 adults and 2 kids, other family is 1 adult, 2 kids.
Families 1 & 2 (2 adults, 2 kids each) think Villa should be split per family.
Family 3 (1 adult, 2 kids) thinks the cost should be split per person, their reason being they have 1 salary to pay for the holiday, other families have 2 - all adults work full time.
Families 1 & 2 feel they all use same facilities so it’s per family.
Family 3 would also like to split costs like food per person but other families think this is petty.
who is right?
YANBU. Families 1 & 2 are correct. Split per family
YABU Family 3 is correct. Cost split per person

Unless the family if 3 is using one room less then they must pay the same as the others . Just divide in in 3 , makes more sense , so what if one is a single parent family , they also have one less mouth to feed

Or if the tow parent families don’t want to be generous, then obviously you just divide by total people. IE family one and two pay 4/11 each of accommodation cost. Family three pays 3/11. Same for food.

So your siblings would be happy for you to invite 3 more adults along as part of your family party, and pay the same amount? Highly doubt it. You aren’t all using the same facilities. Part of those facilities is the cost of power etc, and they will use more given there are an extra adult in each of their families. I think this is incredibly unfair and mean of them and the only reason they are insisting it’s split by family is to make it more financially beneficial for them. Food should be split per person, it’s nuts to suggest otherwise fgs. Harking on about eating more fruit?! What if one of their children eats more cereal or drinks more milk. Who’s being petty now? I’d hazard a guess that the 14 year old will consume more than your 8 year old, and I say that as the mother of 3 boys 14, 11 and 7! A 14 year old basically eats the same amount as an adult 🤦🏻‍♀️ This seems to be a gaslighting session aimed at you. I’d stand your ground and don’t be bullied in to going along with it.

I'm doing the same, 3 families. I'm only paying for myself and DC for the cost of the house rental (divided by 8 people) There won't be any young kids so I will expect food etc to be split per person. I'm the single Mum so there's no way I will be paying a third for everything. Anyone who suggests this will be swiftly put down. How ridiculous to even suggest a different way of splitting costs, it would be so unfair.

11 people get a holiday- split cost of holiday by 11 and charge each person for their share (since some are kids obviously their parents pay their share). It’s the simplest way and the fairest.

When I shared a house as part of a couple with a single house mate, we split everything 3 ways and we paid 2/3.

Im going away with my wife, another couple and a single friend soon- split it 5 ways and everyone pays their 5th.

I don’t see how any other way makes sense.

Family 3 is right - they should split according to numbers/number of earners. Should accept a smaller room for themselves though in consequence. I’ve been on these holidays and had a great time! Can’t understand commenters saying getting individual villas is better - it’s lovely sharing the cooking/having the kids all playing together.

Yes thats right because people that earn more should pay more even if it is for exactly same thing as the lesser earning person..ridiculous..this is why my DH & I don’t socialise with single parents

OMG. That’s hilarious. I really wouldn’t worry, there isn’t a single parent out there that’s missing spending time with you.

We have a bit similar to this in that my DSIS and partner have 2 kids, we have one and then our parents obviously don’t have any. We don’t take it down as far as working out percentages but we do work out who need’s what space. Ie DSIS needed 2 bedrooms, we had our child with us so just needed 1 bedroom and parents just 1, so DSIS paid more. Food we tend to split 3 ways as kids still very young but as they get older and start on bigger portions (and lots of drinks and snacks) we’ll pay more than parents

Ooh a tough one.
i would work out the difference per family between doing it per room or per person….. the difference once divided might not be worth the argument

If it was my family I'd ask the single parent family to pay less. It's only fair. Not half of other families but definitely less. Like if it was 1200, I'd split it 450, 450, 300.

You get more space and luxury and access to facilities because they have less people. I bet you give them the smallest room too

When I go away with my sister and her partner we always split the cost per adult. I have 1 child, they have 3. I'm a single parent.

So, here's what bothers me. You aII (the two famiIies of four) think this sibIing is being petty not to want to pay equaIIy for food for aImost three times what her famiIy wiII require? She is not the petty one.

Unless the villa is serviced splitting the bills is the least of your problems. Who does the cooking, food shop, dishwasher, washing? I’ve been with family members and there’s always a slacker who doesn’t pull their weight. I wouldn’t go op.

I just wouldn’t go. Say I am so sorry but we either need to find somewhere cheaper or we can’t cone

I think they should probably pay the same for the Villa if they are taking up as much room as everyone else E.g one bedroom or two bedrooms. Why not split the cost per bedroom as that is often what accommodation is priced on?

The food should be split per person though. Why would they pay the same as a four person family if there are only three of them?

I would say 2 kids = same price as 1 adult
so divide the cost into 8
Family 1 pay= 3 portions for 2 adults 2 kids
Fam 2 pay = 3 portions for 2 adults 2 kids
fam 3 pay = 2 portions for 1 adult 2 kids

And this is the reason I avoid these kinds of dynamics and just go away either with my partner or solo as see a lot if these big or extended family holidays never go well always complaining about something. I don't know why ppl nowadays can't seem to do anything without inviting the world and their dog?

From you OP : YANBU. Families 1 & 2 are correct. Split per family
The 78% YANBU vote means 78% of mumsnet disagrees with you!

Because when it works out it's wonderful.

We used to have great family holidays with 3 families together. We split the costs equally even though we had one DC and they each had two because he still had his own room.
The shine started wearing off when their DCs graduated from kids meals to sophisticated - pricey - adult ones and drunk multiple cans of drink when out whilst DS was still on kids meal and water, bit the bill was still being evenly split between the three families.

On the last holiday DS was effectively in the maids room with no air con so he had to sleep in the living room. This also coincided with him not particularly wanting to holiday with a bunch of girls any more so it was a natural end.

But we did have some lovely evenings together particularly when the DCs were younger and happy to hang out as a gang. They used to put together a show for us on the last night in the villa and we all still remember them fondly.

One of the issues I think is as British people we don't want to discuss costs, but it is important to reach a result that everyone thinks is reasonable.

I’m another vote for accommodation split per room, food split per person with children counting as 1/2.

One thing though, I’m shocked about the view that you should pay less because you only have one income / earn less. Yes it is nice when others offer but it is definitely not something you are entitled to!
Imagine going out with a friends who doesn’t work, would you be happy for them to assume you will pay for them?

If this was my sibling and was a single parent I'd be happy to subsidise them a bit. Hopefully they would feel the same for me in return

Certainly split food as there are those who drink and those who don't. Those who eat meat and those who don't. And I think rooms
should be split. Who gets the master bedroom and who gets the shoe cupboard. This is something I'd never do. As someone pointed out, they're having problems already.

We go with families of different sizes.

We count adults as a whole and children as half. This works pretty well and feels fair to all.

Re food bills, we have a big supermarket shop and tend to just split it by family. Not everyone drinks, but we do t out huge amounts to of alcohol in the shop. Those who drink tend to buy booze top-ups during the week.

The accommodation is the big part if the costs. It’s important the way costs will be split is established the point if choosing to book…not later. It is this which causes resentment.

With group holidays, you have to be a bit flexible with spends. If everyone expects to spend a bit more than their fair share, that’s a good starting point. Calculating exact spends if you’ve gone for a coffee or similar is a bit tedious. If you really want to pay for exactly what you had, a group holiday might not suit you.

Single parent definitely shouldn't have to cough up the same as those where there are 2 adults. If they did pay equally they would effectively be subsidising the others. If they are a single parent full -time they may, depending on what, if any, jobs each adult has, already be worse off financially.

Honestly, I think per person for accommodation and food. That’s how hotels do it, why shouldn’t be split that way. This seems more logical and fair.