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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Family holiday. How should the costs be split?

437 replies

Sallyrush · 20/07/2023 05:05

3 families looking to hire a Villa. (Siblings. Not sure if relevant or not)
2 families are 2 adults and 2 kids, other family is 1 adult, 2 kids.
Families 1 & 2 (2 adults, 2 kids each) think Villa should be split per family.
Family 3 (1 adult, 2 kids) thinks the cost should be split per person, their reason being they have 1 salary to pay for the holiday, other families have 2 - all adults work full time.
Families 1 & 2 feel they all use same facilities so it’s per family.
Family 3 would also like to split costs like food per person but other families think this is petty.
who is right?
YANBU. Families 1 & 2 are correct. Split per family
YABU Family 3 is correct. Cost split per person

OP posts:
Ywudu · 20/07/2023 06:11

Accomodation split 3 ways and food per person. Although if my sibling was struggling and I was in a position to help a bit I'd go with @WoahLivingOnABear and only have her pay 25%

MoreCoffeeAndCake · 20/07/2023 06:16

Per person is the fairest.

Do families 1 & 2 not really like family 3? They seem to be ganging up on a sibling.

I like the pp to think of this like a trip to Legoland. You'd definitely pay per person in that case.

I go on large family holidays and we always split equally per adult, with children paying 50%.

Splitting by rooms only works if each family set is made up of exactly the same number of adults and children, because then it is effectively per person anyway.

creamteaandfishcakes · 20/07/2023 06:16

When it comes to my own family we split per adult family member. We don’t include any kids, everyone just absorbs those costs. If someone is having a particularly bad time of it money wise then we will help out whoever needs the help where possible. If it’s a holiday with friends I’d split per room but the food would be split per person. Again, ignoring children (I’d prob expect the parents to do a separate shop if their kids don’t eat what the group eats).

SunRainStorm · 20/07/2023 06:19

Family 3 is right.

And I think it's a bit shitty of families 1 & 2 to be so miserly instead of supporting their sibling who is a single parent.

I can't imagine treating my brother or sister like that.

Original poster
Sallyrush · 20/07/2023 06:24

It’s interesting to see the replies and views. I’ve to keep the post very neutral which is why I haven’t said which family I am - not sure why. You don’t know me IRL so you have no reason to agree or disagree with me!

OP posts:
Glassfullofdreams · 20/07/2023 06:29

Landlubber2019 · 20/07/2023 06:02

Why can't families 1&2 support family 3, who is already parenting alone? Of course the same amount of rooms are required but family 3 literally has half their income.

It seems families 1&2 are happy to stand together against a sibling and this would make me question if this holiday is really going to work 😥

Family 1 and 2 might not be able to afford to support family 3.

Roselilly36 · 20/07/2023 06:29

Divide the cost by the families, assuming we are only talking about the accommodation costs and this doesn’t include flights? The single parent will have less flight cost. I hope you have a great holiday, I couldn’t this have anything worse than this set up tbh with mine or DH families!

Doesanyoneknowwhattheyaredoing · 20/07/2023 06:31

When we go on holiday we pay for the accommodation. We are better off than the family members who come so get to choose accommodation we are happy with and get the master bedroom. If we had to share costs then the poorest should pick something they are comfortable with and then we would all share the costs of this. I don’t think it’s fair for a family member to struggle to pay for something like accommodation when we all get the benefit of seeing each other / cousins having fun together etc.

Food we split per adult - children are free. Older teens are counted as adults given the amount the eat.

Appleblum · 20/07/2023 06:32

Split the cost of the villa evenly between 3 families since each family will be occupying 2 rooms each. Food and other entertainment costs should be split per adult.

Fab973 · 20/07/2023 06:32

I would hope you are the single parent. If not you are being tight and mean to a sibling whose life is really hard.

if you are fam 1 or 2 you should have a hard look at yourself

BluNomad · 20/07/2023 06:34

Is the single adult is being a tight arse, she is still occupying a room so unless adults all have their own room & aren’t sharing with their partners then of course it should be split equally. Why should she get her stay subsidised because she’s single

A303 · 20/07/2023 06:36

My siblings would have to pay me to go on family with them and their offspring.

Sceptre86 · 20/07/2023 06:36

I wouldn't bother. I'd go separate villas near each other and the kids can still spend the day together. Otherwise I'd split the accommodation per family and the food per person.

toddlermom99 · 20/07/2023 06:37

Definitely per person.

Meeting · 20/07/2023 06:38

If you can't agree on this then the holiday is not going to work out.

At least one adult will spend their time bitter and feeling like they're subsidising someone else.

HollyBerri · 20/07/2023 06:39

Definitely per person or per adult as each family has 2 children. That includes the food. If not the single parent family is paying twice as much as the others.
i can’t believe the first 2 families can’t see this

RichardsGear · 20/07/2023 06:40

Single person sister is right, it should be split per adult, and the other couples are being tight arses suggesting anything different. To pay per room is acting like a business and charging her a single occupancy supplement.

BluNomad · 20/07/2023 06:41

HollyBerri · 20/07/2023 06:39

Definitely per person or per adult as each family has 2 children. That includes the food. If not the single parent family is paying twice as much as the others.
i can’t believe the first 2 families can’t see this

The single person isn’t occupying a room then no? Seriously unless she’s in a single room she should pay for the same room as the couples. I wouldn’t want to subsidise her stay unless she’s in a single bed or much smaller room

NoSquirrels · 20/07/2023 06:42

The food should be split by person, the accommodation by rooms used.

This is really the only answer you need.

The relative earning power/ costs isn’t relevant. It’s no one’s fault that one family earns less/has higher costs per adult. It’s not the other families’ responsibility to offset that.

But food etc should be split per person, definitely. A 4-person family eats more than a 3-person family.

GracePalmer33 · 20/07/2023 06:43

I don't know if I necessarily think it should be worked out "per person" in all scenarios- ie if it wasn't family and was a big group of friends in which I wasn't all that close with some of them etc. I think in that scenario I would expect it to be split per family.

but since it is family, if I knew my sibling was struggling and I wasn't then I'd be approaching my other sibling to discuss how we could help and make it more manageable for them.

Advicerequest · 20/07/2023 06:43

Single parent here
i have gone on numerous family holidays
it always annoys me that costs for food are split per family.
im a single parent with two, my sister has three and a husband - they both work.
they don't see the issue.

Sleepdeprived42long · 20/07/2023 06:43

Technically I think per room for accommodation, per person for food (probably not counting under 5s).

But I think it is relevant that this is siblings-if family 3 were my brother/sister I’d absolutely be wanting to support them in any way I could, especially if they had already indicated costs too high. Are family 3 struggling financially?

OP, I’d say if you’re family 3, you might want to rethink the holiday if your siblings don’t have compassion for your situation. If family 1 or 2, help out your sibling if you can and don’t grudge it.

sweepleall · 20/07/2023 06:45

NoSquirrels · 20/07/2023 06:42

The food should be split by person, the accommodation by rooms used.

This is really the only answer you need.

The relative earning power/ costs isn’t relevant. It’s no one’s fault that one family earns less/has higher costs per adult. It’s not the other families’ responsibility to offset that.

But food etc should be split per person, definitely. A 4-person family eats more than a 3-person family.

I agree with that.

Where does it end otherwise?

What if one of the couples had a SAHP so were also a single income household? What if the single parent actually out earns one of the couples? What if one household inherited a house so they have no mortgage?

It's just too complicated to try and divide it by who has most money, much easier to go for what people actually use - family 3 uses a third of the villa but eats a bit less than a third of the food. They should pay for that.

Ylvamoon · 20/07/2023 06:45

As bedrooms are not an issue, I would split the cost per person. So that's the villa cost divided by 11.

Qwertyyui · 20/07/2023 06:45

TUI offers £150 off a single parent holiday. If a big company can discount it down i feel family should be able to do the same? Split by number of people in a party especially for food. Why should Family 3 suppliment the food of 4 working people?! I don't even understand how family 1 and 2 cannot see they are being CFs?