To think it's not really possible to get wealthy?

[ilyana]

I live in London and earlier today, I treated myself to a fancy haircut in Belgravia and met a friend for a coffee and a walk around. I saw a whole side of London I don't normally see! I live in a nice enough but definitely not posh part of south London, get the bus everywhere, and shop at Lidl.

We saw a woman coming out of one of the gorgeous townhouses and getting into a chauffeur driven car, and I commented that I'd love to have that lifestyle. My friend told me I could if I really wanted it and worked for it, and that I'm limiting myself. I'm 38 and single and earn £65K at my day job and another £5K or so through a bit of freelance work on the side. I could probably push that up to £10K if I gave up a lot of my free time. I know £70-75K is decent money, but it's hardly a stepping stone to this kind of wealth, is it? If I really pushed myself at work and looked to move to another role elsewhere, I could maybe get to £85K in a year or two, possibly £100K by 42ish, but that's still not huge money in London, is it? Particularly without a partner to share costs.

AIBU to think it's pretty much impossible for me to attain that lifestyle at this point, and that almost everyone who does live like this has inherited wealth, privileges like having gone to top private schools, or married into money? Or maybe done something like bought/inherited property young and got lucky with property prices rising?

Certain careers can make you really wealthy, or setting up and selling a successful business for example.
However I don’t think you’re wrong, many wealthy people have also inherited wealth/property etc.

That said the lifestyle may not be that fun, security worries, long hours at work etc.

There are a handful of specific careers where you can access this sort of money.

But you are not wrong. Many of the people with that level of wealth haven't earned it from a salaried role.

I had a similar/not similar experience today- I remembered a guy on the X factor who said his dream was to shop in m and s and not just stare in the window and as I went in to buy a gift for my friend’s birthday I saw a mum and teenager basically shopping until they dropped including a top I had seen that I knew ds would love, but, being a tee shirt and thirty euro I’d never dream anyone could afford that! I think her answer sounds like something out of a self help book but to answer your question possibly not without giving your life fully to work

YANBU. The "you can make it too!" myth is just another lie to stop us all from rising up and redistributing the hoarded wealth

I want to be wealthy. For the freedom it gives and the difference it would make to my family. 2 years ago I took part in a Procter Gallagher personal growth program and it has been hugely beneficial for how I think about my potential - and where I look to for the results (internally rather than externally - which sometimes meant I put people on a pedestel). Maybe the answer isn't doing more of the same (i.e. working more hours and climbing a ladder over years) but growing in a different way (diversifying more your income - sounds like you have ways already). My two fave books if I may share are: You are a Badass with money (love the audio version - the author is seriously sarcastic and dry humored! And the Power of Awareness...)

It’s possible, but not in every case.

My uncle was brought up in what was basically a slum, had no money, no wealth, no academic qualifications. With what little he had he opened a shop, just a standard grocery type business. That led to another, then another, then another, then him setting up his own company and expanding further. He ended up with 70+ shops and was a multi-millionaire by the end.

Despite his wealth he actually lived pretty frugally. He had a large house but nothing spectacular, ate simply, drove a second hand car, still socialised with his working-class mates from growing up. He was generous with his family, but I think he was always worried about losing it - perhaps a legacy of his background.

I just searched on Zoopla and the average terrace house in Belgravia is £4.5m. You don’t make that kind of money on PAYE unless you’re the CEO of a large org or partner in a large consultancy. That’s inherited money or company owner money i.e the 0.5%.

You've forgotten the criminal fraternity who make millions from ill gotten gains too.
Personally, I don't think I'd like to be driven around by a chauffeur!
Without being unkind, look at everything you already have. You earn more than enough to live a perfectly nice life, don't waste it being jealous of such unimportant stuff.

Azeroin, your uncle sounds fabulous.

Yea I think at this stage it’s impossible for you unless you marry a very rich person or win the lottery.

You could possibly start up your own business and make it big but your best chance is to marry into wealth.

To do that you need to move in those circles (so have money already) or be breathtakingly beautiful

I think to have a chauffeur driven car and a house in belgravia you’d need to have an income stream or assets generating at least 2mm a year.. if she has a chauffeur I guess she would have other staff - nanny housekeeper cook gardener .. all very expensive !

@PerfectYear321 yeah I think it’s unlikely to happen!

Think of it as a game of Monopoly. It's getting close to the end.....

No, he sounds like a normal someone born in the 30's or whenever, when that trajectory was possible.

It isn't possible anymore.

The Belgravia woman was probably Russian.

I worked with wealthy individuals. That is to say, men. 99% of women in the scenario were married to the money.

I can see how mindset makes a difference. 5 years ago, I was trapped in a shitty relationship. I never imagined that I could be earning £65-75K or that I could own a flat in London alone or go to NYC for long weekends or to the Caribbean for a week in February, and now I have all those things. I do have to forego most daily luxuries to afford them, though - no Ubers, no car, no Deliveroos, no designer handbags, and obviously I don't have kids!

Still, there's a massive gap between achieving a nice middle class lifestyle and being wealthy. I have tried to invest - I bought Bitcoin and a few other crypto bits and pieces, and obviously that didn't go too well. I own my flat, but property prices have crashed a bit since I bought it, and I can't see it making me very wealthy. I'm trying to build up a small emergency fund and have it in the highest interest savings account I can find, but it's not even keeping up with inflation.

I'm sure I sound vapid, but I grew up extremely poor and am shocked at how much my life has improved even earning what I do now. I am unbelievably grateful to be able to go to NYC at all, but as I'm sitting there at the gate with my backpack, I watch beautifully dressed women carrying designer bags breeze past when First/Business class are called, and I do wonder how they afford it and if I ever could!

It's not really about being jealous and more about wondering if I'm limited myself regarding my potential by assuming certain things are impossible. Five years ago, I'd never have thought I'd even be where I am now. I was in an abusive relationship, working a crap part-time job, and my ex convinced me I could never do any better.

I'm very grateful for what I already have, but I think I'd be happier if I lived in a less dodgy area, if I could afford private health insurance, if I could afford business class when I travel so I'm not all achey and tired, stuff like that! If I could afford really high quality food that I didn't have to cook, like sushi deliveries. Just little upgrades here and there that add up to make life much easier.

I can't drive (medical reasons) and don't use Uber after a bad experience, so having a driver would be wonderful, to be honest!

Wow that's amazing. I'm disabled. I work hard. I earned 6k last year. Pathetic isn't it.

When I look around my circle of friends many married into wealth, but equally many are/were successful in their careers and have equally successful partners. One of my oldest friends met her DH in uni and both started working in private equity. She's now a sahm and he's still in pe, their new home is worth more than £5mil. One of DH's friends, who was only 22 when I met her, already had a chauffeur driving her around as she could expense him as a business cost. She now also has another driver who drives her children to school and their various activities.

It is still possible.

The majority of home owners in that area are Russian, Arab or Chinese. They usually come from sheikh wealth or inheritance with large money laundering wealth. They are very rarely upstanding citizens who have worked hard and ethically for their money.

Must admit if I was minted I'd retire, I'm getting old, that said. To be part of new money basically you need inherited wealth, stock market big wins, etc. For the eg made in Chelsea type lifestyles

It sounds like they started young AND had the benefit of being coupled, though. I don't have either of those things.

How do you expense a chauffeur as a business cost?

You can work your way up to the "business class" lifestyle. "First" is maybe out of reach ;)