To think it's not really possible to get wealthy?

[ilyana]

I live in London and earlier today, I treated myself to a fancy haircut in Belgravia and met a friend for a coffee and a walk around. I saw a whole side of London I don't normally see! I live in a nice enough but definitely not posh part of south London, get the bus everywhere, and shop at Lidl.

We saw a woman coming out of one of the gorgeous townhouses and getting into a chauffeur driven car, and I commented that I'd love to have that lifestyle. My friend told me I could if I really wanted it and worked for it, and that I'm limiting myself. I'm 38 and single and earn £65K at my day job and another £5K or so through a bit of freelance work on the side. I could probably push that up to £10K if I gave up a lot of my free time. I know £70-75K is decent money, but it's hardly a stepping stone to this kind of wealth, is it? If I really pushed myself at work and looked to move to another role elsewhere, I could maybe get to £85K in a year or two, possibly £100K by 42ish, but that's still not huge money in London, is it? Particularly without a partner to share costs.

AIBU to think it's pretty much impossible for me to attain that lifestyle at this point, and that almost everyone who does live like this has inherited wealth, privileges like having gone to top private schools, or married into money? Or maybe done something like bought/inherited property young and got lucky with property prices rising?

This is fucking depressing.

"EIM23045 - Car benefit: expense of a chauffeur
Part 3 Chapter 10 and Section 239(4) and (5) ITEPA 2003The expense incurred by an employer, or another person acting on the employer’s behalf, in the provision of a chauffeur is included in the residual liability to charge imposed by Part 3 Chapter 10 ITEPA 2003. Section 239(5) ensures that it is not excluded from charge.
The cash equivalent of the benefit of the chauffeur is calculated in the same way as for other benefits in kind (see EIM21101 onwards)."

That maybe but it's likely the best option

Maybe but rich men are a total assache to deal with.

That's also a true perspective,

It's interesting that you think a woman with money must have either inherited wealth, married into money or rode the property wave...

Not my perspective, I just followed a previous conversation perspective

sorry I was commenting on the OP

Fair points

Isn't that what most of the comments are saying?

I'm not sure what your point is. If you think it's possible for me to obtain that kind of wealth without inheritance, marrying into it or getting very lucky with property, please let me know how I'd go about it, because I don't know a single person who has been able to do it, especially in my generation.

See, I thought that when I was younger, but every man I've dated has been awful to deal with. I had the romantic fantasy of money not mattering and focusing on love, and now I feel like I've just been had. I think I'd have been much better off with a rich man or just focusing on my career.

Be like Ivanka and Jared.
They inherited theirs, then sold shitty jewelry and crappy clothes and became slumlords and lousy real estate investors.
Then, they became “unsalaried advisors” to Ivanka’s father and in four short years managed to walk away with a reported $640Million.
After sucking up to Saudi Arabia and excusing the murder of a journalist, the Saudis gave Jared $2Billion.
See? Easy peasy. Also sickening. But wealthy.

I dunno, you could retrain and become a kick-ass M&A lawyer or investment adviser, or you could build a technology product, or you could run a business, or earn commission in sales, or you could start a YouTube Channel... what skills and interests do you have?

All more fun than managing the stress and ego of a rich husband.

No you’re not going to get this rich by getting a degree then working for a company you’re right.
you can only achieve this by being your own boss, inheriting generational wealth etc.
nobody in my family that are millionaires have a degree, they’re all early school leavers who became entrepreneurs. You have to be a ruthless gambler.

I love the optimists who know a single person who has an extraordinary story and then say "see, it is possible" as if it happens all the time 🫣.
Yes, it's perfectly possible to run a marathon, but we can't all come first in a marathon - it's not that common at all.

At 38, sticking with the career you already have, it's unlikely. But plenty of people choose careers or have talents that allow them to become super wealthy.

In my college group, those working in finances, property development and IT sales have all achieved silly-wealth level. But they also worked every waking moment through their twenties & thirties, and didn't have families until their wealth was established. Lots of divorces along the way.

It's not a life I aspire to.

It's quite to become wealthy by income alone.

rare!

Business class rich is definitely attainable. Look at your career path and how to get to the top of that.

I think people can go from not much to very wealthy but it’s only ever going to be a extraordinarily tiny number.

Your money is worth more outside London. Either in the uk or further. Depends on your work situation and how much you like being in London, but you could feel ‘richer’ elsewhere…

My dd was explaining to me the difference in lifestyle and different implications of being a billionaire rather than a millionaire. I found the billionaire life hard to imagine.

NC (although not really sure why). I have become wealthy through work alone. I’m 37, have worked in financial services since I was 21. State school, no inherited wealth.

I am married and have 2 young primary school aged children. DH earns less than half of what I do but obviously that is a huge help.

I am very proud of what I have achieved, but it has not been without compromise. I worked 12+ hour days my entire 20s, the men in my industry are generally toxic (I sit on lots of female focused working groups to try to change this), I continued to work full time whilst my children were babies (although the pandemic massively helped with attitudes to wfh). Now I am senior enough to be so flexible that we don’t need term time childcare, although we have help in the long holidays.

My privilege has been being white, able bodied, no abusive relationship history, Oxbridge and perhaps growing up in London (?). My drive came from my parents’ divorce and my Mum being left with nothing/on benefits when I was about 11.

I know lots of women holding similar roles now, because of my work network- no idea of background/inheritance, but it is rare amongst home friends and family.

I wouldn’t say I was happier than anyone else, either!

This is not PAYE territory for the main part and is largely company owners or inherited wealth. If PAYE it’s more likely to be CEOs, senior bankers, lawyers and venture capitalists. I’ve worked with some of these and the clever ones see it’s a trap: they don’t upgrade their house/spouses/lifestyle and instead make themselves independently wealthy. But most get hooked on the need for that lifestyle and find it hard to step away. It’s fine till you’re 55 and then less much less so, whether that’s because you’ve lost allure at work or your health doesn’t allow the intensity.

Regardless of income point, the real key is to focus on passive income: how can your money earn for you without your direct and time consuming involvement. That might be investing in the stock market (not cypto!), owning rentals (hard these days), investing abroad etc. depending on your risk appetite.

OP you can change jobs, get lucky in investments, even marry wealth, but in reality none of it counts unless you're happy. If the per suit of money itself makes you happy, then it's possible for you to still achieve it if you put your thinking cap on and think in, out and around the box. You'd still need luck, but it's not impossible. But if your work in any way form maybe a positive part of who you are, then honestly, you're on a winner if a different sort.

Also, you're off yo NYC on holiday. Your time there is your own, I presume. You could get a job that sends you there in business, but you'd have not more than a few snatched moments of your own. Maybe a day.

If you marry wealth because you are looking for a rich husband, then your time isn't your own anyway. And that sort of mariage is often entering an unspoken contract where you'll be available when he needs you to be and looking your best too. When you're struggling it can seem nice, but unless you get satisfaction from those things, it's not especially rewarding.

And not all wealthy men are like that. I have a friend from uni who married his uni sweetheart. He is a multimillionaire from working in investment management and she's an NHS doctor from a very top uni. She saves lives. He talks about her job with contempt because of how "little" she earns as a consultant. I wish she'd divorce him!

I think it's always good to look for new challenges and opportunities and if you'd like a higher income, then it's worth following that. But the compromises required in reaching that increased income needs to not detract from your overall quality of life too.

And as for your initial question, you're right, it's generally impossible. I don't see that as a bad thing though, because, thankfully, once we have enough for our needs and many wants, money doesn't bring happiness.