To think it's not really possible to get wealthy?

[ilyana]

I live in London and earlier today, I treated myself to a fancy haircut in Belgravia and met a friend for a coffee and a walk around. I saw a whole side of London I don't normally see! I live in a nice enough but definitely not posh part of south London, get the bus everywhere, and shop at Lidl.

We saw a woman coming out of one of the gorgeous townhouses and getting into a chauffeur driven car, and I commented that I'd love to have that lifestyle. My friend told me I could if I really wanted it and worked for it, and that I'm limiting myself. I'm 38 and single and earn £65K at my day job and another £5K or so through a bit of freelance work on the side. I could probably push that up to £10K if I gave up a lot of my free time. I know £70-75K is decent money, but it's hardly a stepping stone to this kind of wealth, is it? If I really pushed myself at work and looked to move to another role elsewhere, I could maybe get to £85K in a year or two, possibly £100K by 42ish, but that's still not huge money in London, is it? Particularly without a partner to share costs.

AIBU to think it's pretty much impossible for me to attain that lifestyle at this point, and that almost everyone who does live like this has inherited wealth, privileges like having gone to top private schools, or married into money? Or maybe done something like bought/inherited property young and got lucky with property prices rising?

Oh my God, how insightful! Nobody else has posted anything like this on the thread at all!

It's also not like I've repeatedly laid out exactly how having more money would enormously improve my life in very specific ways or anything, so I totally understand why you'd be the first to ask why I want more.

Finding the joy in the smaller things...OMG, why didn't I just think of that? Never mind that I can't afford to visit family often and have to miss out on loads of special occasions. Never mind that I have to struggle on the Tube on days I have multiple hospital appointments. Never mind that I often end up not eating as well as I should because I'm often not well enough to cook and I can't afford healthy takeaways all the time. Let me just go and sniff a flower in the park or splash around in the rain in my wellies, and all will be well! Lucky me! Let me just magic up this "good health" you think is so much easier to attain than money! If only I'd known!

Have you scratched everything off the bingo card now? It's like you're all made in a factory or something.

There are exactly two types of people who have a problem with this kind of post, IMO.

The privileged, oblivious types who have never struggled a day in their lives and can't identify with being single, being solely responsible for absolutely every aspect of your life with no help from a partner/family, having health struggles, etc. They say things like "money isn't everything" because they've never experienced how utterly shit life is when you need it and don't have it.

Then we have the "crabs in a bucket" who have equally crap or more crap lives, but lack the intelligence or ambition to actually even try to improve anything at all, so they drag down anyone they see as having "ideas above their station", and by anyone, I of course mean another woman, because they'd never do it to a man. They want everyone to suffer as much as them and resent anyone who thinks they can try to do better.

I would love to create a space without either of this type in it!

It's interesting how differently we all view the perfect lifestyle. I don't blame you at all OP, btw. Just interesting as was discussing with colleagues recently what we'd all do if we won a ridiculous amount on the lottery, and we all agreed that even the biggest, fanciest house in the best part of London would be hell on earth. I really wouldn't thank you for a London townhouse, but if gifted one, it'd immediately be on the market so I could stay where I am now, just with considerably more money. 😂

Are we really telling people to aim for their basic needs being covered and no more? That's extraordinary dire.

I am sorry my post caused you offence, I hope you find peace with your lifestyle and can enjoy being present.

I'm not sure if you mean OP or me as we both replied, but I don't need to find peace, so don't worry. I'd probably be rather down if having a nice haircut was what brought me most joy in life.

how ridiculous that everyone here saying its impossible. clearly it is possible, and money comes from earning it, no matter how you've earned it.
I have friends that married into it, were born into it, and worked for it. all possible.

Nowhere in my post does it state people should aim for their basic needs to be covered. The final sentence mentions meaningful relationships, purpose, good health etc. should be the aim. These have been proven to be leading factors to happiness

You can only go so far in most things with a decent amount of money, though. Even health-wise, without private healthcare or means to pay, you're quite limited. Purpose - well, yes, if you can afford the training/long periods of time off work to train or study for what you really want to do.

You need to start the thread. Preferably soon 😂

You blithely mention "good health" as if you think it's easier to get that than get money, and as if you see no connection between money and health.

You don't get it, do you?

I will! Any suggestions for a catchy title? That's not my forté!

It needs to be positive and describe the purpose of the thread.

Along the lines of ,"We want to be wealthy: a thread to share ideas and inspiration on how to achieve financial independence"

@CaptainJ is another one that needs to be tagged in.

Hi OP. I don't mean to sound negative but, realistically at your age, the only way to have the chauffeur / Belgravia lifestyle is to sell a company for multi-millions or few billion. People like this are not 'salaried.' I hate to say it, but if that life is really your aim, your most likely option at your age (and soon) is to marry a man who is an entrepreneur and well on his way on that type of trajectory. Or perhaps one who has / will inherit. It takes time to develop and exit a £ billion company (and sometimes a bit of luck). Not to mention a certain type of mentality which 99.9% of people don't really have. It can be quite demanding being married to this sort of man because they are very highly-charged and usually innate workaholics. They live and breathed their work - its not something they 'do' it's who they are. You can not change them so you have to accept that and to be prepared to roll with it and very often be their sounding board / sanity check / support etc - almost like a therapist. Especially when children come along, you have to balance them out. You have to be quite calm and be able to hold the emotional load. It's very privileged lifestyle for sure, but not everyone would be able to handle these type of men, to be perfectly honest.

Thanks! I will just go with that to get something started! I have put it in the Money Matters forum...please feel free to join and tag anyone who will like it!

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/money-matters/4858221-we-want-to-be-wealthy-a-thread-to-share-ideas-on-how-to-achieve-financial-independence

I actually think I'd be fine with that kind of man! I'm super independent, like lots of me time, don't need a whole lot of emotional support and hand holding, and am totally fine with dining, holidaying alone a lot of the time. I'm used to being single now, and I don't want kids.

That said, I'd rather make my own wealth as far as I can manage it. I agree that Belgravia wealthy is a very long shot (which tbh was the point of the thread - I told my friend it wasn't realistic!) but I reckon I could do a lot better!

Maybe write a book? Worked for J.K.Rowling ;)

There are a number of professions where it is perfectly possible to get very wealthy. Private Equity, Investment Banking and Hedge Fund managers to name just 3. Then there are successful business owners who cash out. It usually takes a good start through education, hard work and a fair dollop of luck but it can be done in other ways.

Here is an example of an ex taxi driver who was recently selling his £23m home John Griffin (businessman) - Wikipedia

You've been watching Britain's Wealthiest Homes on Channel 4?

You are assuming that the people you saw earned their money by having a specific kind of career or by just 'working hard'.

Ib fact it is as likely that they have inherited their wealth or used their looks to marry into a rich family or even obtained their money through dubious means.

Frankly you are more likely to become wealthy by starting a business, marrying someone with money and having the right connections than for being good at your job and being a hard worker.

The financial services might be the exception but most PAYE jobs won't make you a millionaire.