To think it's not really possible to get wealthy?

[ilyana]

I live in London and earlier today, I treated myself to a fancy haircut in Belgravia and met a friend for a coffee and a walk around. I saw a whole side of London I don't normally see! I live in a nice enough but definitely not posh part of south London, get the bus everywhere, and shop at Lidl.

We saw a woman coming out of one of the gorgeous townhouses and getting into a chauffeur driven car, and I commented that I'd love to have that lifestyle. My friend told me I could if I really wanted it and worked for it, and that I'm limiting myself. I'm 38 and single and earn £65K at my day job and another £5K or so through a bit of freelance work on the side. I could probably push that up to £10K if I gave up a lot of my free time. I know £70-75K is decent money, but it's hardly a stepping stone to this kind of wealth, is it? If I really pushed myself at work and looked to move to another role elsewhere, I could maybe get to £85K in a year or two, possibly £100K by 42ish, but that's still not huge money in London, is it? Particularly without a partner to share costs.

AIBU to think it's pretty much impossible for me to attain that lifestyle at this point, and that almost everyone who does live like this has inherited wealth, privileges like having gone to top private schools, or married into money? Or maybe done something like bought/inherited property young and got lucky with property prices rising?

@Secretboringsister thats a great tip thank you 😊

I imagine there are only so many designer outfits you can buy and luxury holidays you can go on before it gets boring as fuck and very samey. Do you really want other humans as flunkies, running around after you, doing things you have the time and energy to do yourself but you are too rich to lift a finger? I know you can’t drive but you live in London, not the sticks, so you’ll be alright 😊

I’d recommend watching the kardashians on Disney if you haven’t seen it already - they have extreme wealth and it seems to come with a whole load of shit (not the celebrity bit, but the generally awful boyfriends/ husbands, the anonymous flunkies that run the houses, the obsequious flunkies that run the businesses). You might be happy you can strap on your backpack and anonymously hop off to NY instead of there being a whole load of drama and palaver to get there on your private jet 😊

Also I think wealth should be distributed far more equally so really a lot of these people shouldn’t exist with so much wealth, looking at that posh guy who avoided 6 billion inheritance tax because of ‘reasons’ here.

We talk about this a lot. I married a high earner, had five kids, and we are always running out. Friends who earn over £100k aren't in the wealthy class.

There’s a lot of toxic shite spouted about attaining vast wealth.

some people who are entrepreneurs can make a lot of money, or as someone else noted - roles in private equity. But they’ve often started with great connections and networks from going to private schools or having family friends who can get them an entry level role in these professions. Entrepreneurs who can access family wealth for their business start ups.

however, I know so many people where the wealth is inherited. They are less successful in their chosen careers than you might think.

it’s not about working hard. That might be the case in Some industries, but you can work as hard as you want in teaching, for example, and never be rich.

There’s usually dirty money somewhere sadly - whether it’s recent dodgy activity, or being a descendant of a slave owner/trader.

Well, you say that, but most people here have kids, don't they? My haircut was a one-off birthday treat to myself, but I'm sure even the most super expensive hair appointment doesn't come close to what kids cost every month.

The investment advice is good - thank you. I will definitely look into this. I know that not having much to put in means I won't get that much out, but even getting more comfortable than I am now would be really nice.

Thank you. To me wealth is: health, happiness, not having debt, a paid for roof over my head, an emergency fund, and having saved up to be able to retire at age 55. Not in a mansion, not with a super car, no Hermes bags, etc.

My secret is that I will retire at 55 (shortly) with millions (under £8M) in the bank & investment that I made myself, I can live not beholden to anyone, no one will have to make any sacrifices for my care in my old age or if I become infirm or incapacitated and there will be enough to gift to the little family I have and charity.

to me that makes sense

I wasn't born in a Western country, and I'm not able bodied, really. I have several lifelong chronic conditions and am technically disabled. I became so ill a few years back that I had to go down to part-time, and I qualify for PIP.

One of the many reasons I'd love to be richer is that my health issues cost me a fortune. I have to have a cleaner in fairly regularly even though I only live in a small flat, I often can't prepare food/cook/clean up when having a flare-up, I can't drive, so I need to use taxis when I'm not well enough to walk or use a train. These aren't my main motivators - I would simply like to have a nice lifestyle and see nothing wrong with aspiring to that - but they are most definitely factors. I can't work full time AND do all the domestic stuff on my own. Something has to give. If I had more money, I could work less, and then I might actually get to have some kind of a social life as well.

Interesting you made those totally unfounded assumptions...perhaps you need to look at your own ableism and biases, because you look a bit silly now.

You have to have money to make money.

If you have money you have the luxury to set up your own business - to put time into it without worrying about an income in the meantime.

If you have money you can buy properties and rent then out.

If you have money you can afford to invest.

Etc etc.

Hi! You didn’t mention children. That does change things for sure. You did mention that you could boost your traditional income, so in a year of boosting your income and reducing your expenses just a bit, I still believe a person on your salary could find approximately £878 ($1,000) in one year to get your investment plan started. I believe you can start with just one small start and build on it to make a foundation to what you strive for. ❤️

Who said I only wanted that? I'd certainly like to fly business class to holidays and have a few nice outfits. That doesn't mean I won't still enjoy cultural stuff and creative pursuits and volunteering. In fact, if I were wealthier, I'd have time to do these enriching things rather than spending most of the week at work.

I don't have the time and energy to do all those things myself, no - I'm disabled. Being able to pay people to do them for me would be great. If you choose to use the word 'flunkies', that's on you. I cleaned houses while at uni and was glad of the money.

I don't want Kardashian wealth or the lifestyle. I'm thinking a property in a good area of London, a driver I can hire for days to get me around, being able to fly First or Business rather than economy, things like that. I wouldn't be famous like they are, either, so that wouldn't be an issue.

I think that even if you win the lottery, unless it’s a super jackpot in the 8 figures you would still need a massive income to sustain such a lifestyle.

It’s impossible to get actually wealthy through salaried work - you can’t sell your hours for a high enough rate. You have to get money through a business, building a product etc. and then investing that money to make more for you. That’s capitalism - making money from money

Without being too outing, I lived the life of this wealth for a week once - basically stayed in a multi millionaire's house abroad. Gated community. House was worth £35m. Private beach. Everything on tap so to speak.

It was absolutely amazing. And it felt absolutely normal after a day of doing it!

It's literally just a case of how many 000's the bank think you have on your accounts. That's it. It did make me think how unfair life is that people live that lifestyle as a norm whilst others are counting out pennies to be able to afford to even eat that day.

That was 'old' money so to speak. And big money. Proper wealth. You absolute do not get that from a 'job'. Connections went back generations. Their children will never have to work a day in their lives.

We know quite a few wealthy people for various reasons, the ones with a LOT of money (with 1 exception) have family money. It’s the same at the DCs (Private) school, the majority of us are pretty comfortable but the serious money is family money.

Through my work I have met quite a few fairly wealthy people. Most of them say that they are self made and that anyone can do it if they have the drive/commitment and are willing to take a few risks. When you speak to them in more detail about how they got where they are most did put in a lot of work they also had an unearned source of money to get them started and as a safety net to protect them when they took risks. Most of them also had a huge amount of good luck. Eg. inherited money/land, interest free loans (with open ended repayment terms) from family/friends, connections that opened doors that would have hit other people in the face etc. As an example, I know one businessman who is very vocal about the fact that he has no formal qualifications but a strong work ethic through which he has risen from a low paid farm worker to owner of high end leisure facilities and accommodation all over the world which make him millions. His view is that he did this, by saving to invest a small amount and reinvesting most of the money he made for several years so that now he can enjoy a better lifestyle. He believes that people who complain that they can't make a decent living are clearly just lazy and/or foolish with the little money they do have. I'd known him for years before I found out that the farm he worked on was owned by his family and his rise to wealth didn't start until he inherited it just as land prices in the area had a sharp rise, making a millionaire overnight. There are a few notable exceptions to this, of course.

There's a lot of habitual low/mid achiever mentality on this thread.

Not everyone obtains wealth via inheritance or I'll gotten gains. Disregard those completely. Sure it helps but the only barrier to wealth is mindset.

If you are driven and smart there is nothing to prevent you from making yourself a fortune.

Alas, most people would rather invest their free time scrolling tik tok, eating junk, drinking and smoking instead of learning new skills and investing in themselves.

I have had a lot of fun scrolling through rightmoves town houses in belgravia.

There's a lovely one at 43million. There are some that are gorgeous but more reasonable at around the 16-20million.

The flats at 11milion also look stunning.

My daughter went to private school in Belgravia. She said the majority of kids lived a five to ten minute walk away. That's serious money. Banking is my guess.
My husband was a city lawyer and earned £500k/year. He actually did work his way up - first in his family to go to university etc, no inheritance. But no way could we have afforded to live there or have that lifestyle. Four kids, an ex wife who got £75k alimony... we had a nice house in Zone 3. Most of the money went to education.
And for people of my age (60), there are a few instances of parents (who would be 90+ if alive) buying London property in the 1970s and seeing that increase in value exponentially and if they held on to it til death kids would hugely benefit. My friends parents bought a house for £125k and when they died in 2018 it was sold for over £7m. Even with £2.8m going for inheritance tax that's a nice little earner. Still not at the level you are talking about.

The woman you saw probably inherited her money or married into it. I realise that's a sexist assumption. Maybe she's a successful businesswoman. But you're right, that sort of money only arrives with a very few who get lucky or dedicate their lives to making money, possibly from a talent for investing. The question I'd be asking is, why do you want that sort of money? Do you think that woman is happier than you are?

there Are a few select careers eg in the city (banking, asset management, hedge funds, private equity) that can get you wealthy - but those people would need to take risk and invest their excess cash

Otherwise being a salaried employee can’t get you truly wealthy because you are an overhead of the business

if you have commission or become an owner/partner in eg a law firm, accounting/consultancy firm etc then that is a different kettle of fish and you can be wealthy

But these days an annual income of even 800k (average for larger law firm or accounting firm partners) won’t get you a house in Belgravia!

So if you aren’t in those careers and don’t have a product to own and sell - then I think you can definitely do more to feel more comfortable and live your best life but yes that kind of wealth may not be attainable - but then do you really need or want that?!

Actually, it is totally possible to come from an average background and make £££££. Its just rarely from a PAYE job and people often take lots of risks to make it happen.

I'm involved in the private equity industry for work and can think of 100's of people who have made life changing amounts of money. They haven't necessarily come from money and often were not top of the class types. Generally hugely focused though with an always working ethic. Someone I know from school did a finance backed MBO (no money down) and when they sold 3 years later pocketed £45m. He was just a bog standard finance director of an average company that saw a gap in the market. He has subsequently invested that money and I would think has more than doubled his capital whilst living an enviable life. He wasn't even 40 when the payout came and was not from a big 4 background. He just convinced a PE house to back him.

My husband (state school educated) knows someone who sold a recruitment business for a few million and then went off to dubai and tripled that money. He's a knob though as he left his wife and kids behind and married a teenage russian less than half his age and now has simon cowell teeth.

I think there is a lot of luck and being in the right place at the right time.

The people like the woman you saw though - often the wife / girlfriend / daughter. Much rarer for women to be the money makers and that needs to change.

Yes, I certainly think I'd be happier if I lived in a nice area, could afford a driver, and could afford to travel in more comfort. Every payrise so far has made me much happier. Money buys comfort and security, and those greatly contribute to happiness.

My friend reckoned that the kind of people we saw have plenty of money and the key is to find a way for them to give it to me...I get her thinking, but I'm not sure I can think of a way to make that happen. She thinks I just need to find something I'm really good at and market myself as an expert/consultant worthy of big money, and fake it until I make it, so to speak. Dress really well and be well-groomed and look the part.

Skillset wise, I've done a lot of private tutoring and speak several languages, so I suppose I could leverage that to make more money (tutoring kids from wealthy families), but it's hardly going to make me wealthy, is it?

I've got respectable qualifications (Master's from Imperial College, TEFL qualifications including DELTA), so it's not like I'm a grifter like the girl in Parasite, but I'm used to working for peanuts when I do tutoring work.

@LunaLula83 I salute you for earning at all. I am disabled too and it is not easy.

Are you Belgravia wealthy though? Is your house with millions? Do you have chauffeurs, housekeepers, a fleet of cars? Holiday homes in various places? Travel first class on long haul flights? Perception of wealth means different things to different people.