To think it's not really possible to get wealthy?

[ilyana]

I live in London and earlier today, I treated myself to a fancy haircut in Belgravia and met a friend for a coffee and a walk around. I saw a whole side of London I don't normally see! I live in a nice enough but definitely not posh part of south London, get the bus everywhere, and shop at Lidl.

We saw a woman coming out of one of the gorgeous townhouses and getting into a chauffeur driven car, and I commented that I'd love to have that lifestyle. My friend told me I could if I really wanted it and worked for it, and that I'm limiting myself. I'm 38 and single and earn £65K at my day job and another £5K or so through a bit of freelance work on the side. I could probably push that up to £10K if I gave up a lot of my free time. I know £70-75K is decent money, but it's hardly a stepping stone to this kind of wealth, is it? If I really pushed myself at work and looked to move to another role elsewhere, I could maybe get to £85K in a year or two, possibly £100K by 42ish, but that's still not huge money in London, is it? Particularly without a partner to share costs.

AIBU to think it's pretty much impossible for me to attain that lifestyle at this point, and that almost everyone who does live like this has inherited wealth, privileges like having gone to top private schools, or married into money? Or maybe done something like bought/inherited property young and got lucky with property prices rising?

Worked even better for the Middletons 🤣

Agreed.

Is it? Is it possible to do what you say? I think not and that's the reason it's not done. How would you organise that?

You’re already able do pay for most of the things these women spend their lives doing. You can afford the same hairdressers, eat in the same restaurants and hang around the same area in London. You have a huge part of their lifestyle already. Is it really worrying about the parts of their lives which you don’t have when you already have some of the best bits?

I know somebody who has done it, started as a builder but now owns a property development firm. Realistically not many can do it and they have to be lucky to be at the right place, at the right time.

Sorry this is not the level of wealth OP is talking about:)

a lot of people can achieve what you have, I agree, but not everyone can (some don’t have abilities, health or luck with timing (eg with crypto); some have family circumstances that are too difficult for them to overcome)

but sure, I agree your level is achievable. Still not Belgravia level with chauffeur

I'm wondering this at the moment. I grew up poor, made very bad decisions, got into debt (paying it all off slowly), I didn't even want to be here in my late twenties so just went off the rails, no responsibility just working and partying. Life going nowhere. Then I got pregnant, grew up, got a house and I'm here now, 41. But I've only managed to get a decent paying bit of self-employed, which I enjoy, which I think is a real win in life to enjoy your work.

But I probably max out at 2 grand earnings, then universal credit.

So do I now spend the rest of my life just being “poor”? (to be honest I don't feel poor. I'm good with money now, have a buffer in the bank and a regular payment to the credit union. We never run out of money, I just borrow it from myself) my daughter is so happy, we have lots of treats and activities nearby, we enjoy our home and life.

So in a way I don't want for anything. I pay monthly for our holidays, I put away for Christmas, and I carry on the modesty around birthdays and Christmas presents that I grew up with. Even if I could afford to spend thousands on her I wouldn't because I don't think it sends the best message.

I would however like to make more money so my daughter can have a better life. I aim to have a good amount of savings by next year and was wondering what to do with them to increase our income. I don't think I'll do Bitcoin.

Agreed, that posters wealth is not anywhere near the league of Belgravia houses etc. not even close.

@Beneficialchampion2 well done on your achievements. But that is the same as many others - I am a very senior professional and have similar to you but I am not Belgravia rich! I also went to a grammar school so have relative privilege

op is talking about another level of wealth - and it’s true that is unattainable for most

also I really disagree with your comment on institutional racism. Entrepreneurs need funding - just look at the concept of black businesses and the reason for them - very little private equity funding goes into them

same goes for women

and the same goes for ethnic minorities and also women in getting promoted

you have showed your own privilege but without recognising it with that comment I’m afraid

and again you aren’t of the wealth that op is referring to anyway - although of course you are very successful

Our MD was a teacher and jacked it in to start a construction company with his mate. He's owns loads of property now, just bought a £1.4m dilapidated mansion in Wales and spent another £600k doing it up. Has also just bought a £200k electric BMW despite already having several nice cars. Defo lives the high life.

I think it's more attainable in a non office job tbh from what I've seen. One guy I see regularly is only 25yo and earns £65k as a crane driver. If you have that kind of money early and start investing in property or start your own business etc you can do pretty well.

I sometimes feel like there is a tipping point, which is firmly linked to property ownership. It is the point at which you can afford to not only live in a nice house yourself, but also afford to either buy your children houses outright as soon as they are adults, or at least pay the majority of the cost for them.

At that point your children are released from the burden of a mortgage and the accompanying interest payments. We think houses are expensive, but when you add on the interest over the life of a mortgage they are far, far more expensive than the price they are “bought” for.

Imagine the benefit of going through life without having to repay the capital and without having to hand all those interest payments over to a bank. Instead all of that can go towards investments, education, building “cultural capital”etc.

When the parent dies they pass their capital on via a trust, and the next generation can use it (along with the wealth accumulated by their parents) to buy their own properties outright, and so the cycle continues.

I feel like families that hit that tipping point can start to accumulate real wealth.

For most of us though, the tyranny of the rent or the mortgage ensure that even with a decent salary we will struggle to get close to that.

thinkIf you have that kind of money early and start investing in property or start your own business etc you can do pretty well.

To extrapolate a bit on this thought. My opinion is that if you give 3 people 100K and tell them to do what they want; 1 will spend it with nothing of substance to show for it, 1 will tuck it away and save it, and 1 will use it to make more money. That’s obviously overly simplistic but I don’t think it’s too far off the mark.

Most of the people with a LOT of money in London have the sort of wealth that is unattainable by simple "working hard". Awhile back I worked for people who have huge houses in Kensigngton (interior design), and my clients were: someone who's dad gifted them a successful holiday company; someone who is from an old school aristocrat family owning half of the country; someone who comes from a family of 4 generations Swiss millionaires.
You can get very rich by having a successful business, I know of people who became very rich this way. Google, for example, the guy who started Phones4You. But it takes a special person, ruthless and risk taking and lucky. You can get wealthy, and you certainly sound wealthy (you earn much more than I do at nearly 50) - but remember, "there is always someone with a bigger yacht than you!" (this was a "life lesson" delivered by my old boss to his son, boss was very proud of it).

Agreed.

I feel like education (although sometimes necessary) is secondary to having the right mindset.

I work for an Indian company and there seems to be a real cultural difference where most of the guys are doing everything they can to make more money.

For instance, one guy I'm friendly with got his operator's license and basically cut out the middle man so went from £45k to around £60k. He then leased another two trucks and had his brother driving one and best mate the other. He also has a small cash and carry which his wife and other relatives run during the day and does pretty eel from booze and disposable ecigs etc.

He's not rich like some of the examples above but he's doing a lot better than most truck drivers who just collect their £45k from employer.

I feel like very few of the wealthy people I see were handed money from their parents, but that may be because most of them are wealthy builders. If you can get trucks into something like HS2 or civil work then you're absolutely creaming it.

@Mumtothreegirlies

Nope that sort of money isn’t dependent on a degree or ‘working your way up’ in an industrythat sort of money is from having your own business and investments.

Not necessarily

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_largest_law_firms_by_profits_per_partner

Yep - I’m a lawyer and the US firms can pay a packet but those partners will also have absolutely no life at all

a lot of people become lawyers, make their money and invest or start businesses - and then really start making money! I mean not £8m a year money but £50m

It’s also worth noting that partners in a law firm own that business - they are not just salaried employees. They need to commit capital, take on risk, fund investment and in turn receive profits

Exactly this. I'm also a lawyer and would like to work towards partnership. You have to be very hard working, determined and tenacious. I worked the weekend, worked until 1 on Sunday, got up at 6 on Monday, in the office until 10:30 and a long day on Tuesday. A lot of people don't want to work those kinds of hours consistently and I get that. I don't mind though because I earn well and want to continue increasing my earning potential.

I think it's true that it can be hard graft, but I did it for quite a long time (and DH still does), also have 3 kids and 2 dogs. Definitely a juggling act and requires some sacrifices and razor sharp organisation (which is somewhat funny because I have ADD), but can also very rewarding in lots of ways. In our experience, busy times ebb and flow and, after a certain point, your time is very much your own in lots of ways - for example, DH will take a month off this summer, I now work for a community organisation I used to volunteer with and can't take a month off.

Yes, but you also get your capital contribution back when you retire

My ex is doing it. He's an arse but he's managed to make something from nothing. He didn't do well at school, mum was an alcoholic, never met his dad. He managed to get into train driving and where we live it's a great salary as housing costs are below average here. His partner earns decent money too. They bought a property, ex is handy at DIY so did it up himself and made a profit. They're now expanding a property business. He's not at chauffeur wealth yet but I imagine he will be in years to come.

Interesting to know your DH gets time off as he is senior!

maybe not all bad - but yes I’m basing it on my years of experience in a non US law but city firm which was pretty horrendous

That is really impressive

as time is precious and there’s only so much time you can give to any job - people really do need to have passive income to be truly wealthy

but obviously people need money to invest for that

so it’s really difficult

Well, I don't, really, do I? What an incredibly weird comment. It was my birthday, so I went to Belgravia for a birthday treat, had my hair done and had a coffee. I hardly ever go to areas like that, despite living in London, which is kind of the entire point of my post. I got a small glimpse into how the other half live.

I live in a not-great part of south London with regular stabbings and violence, rely on buses, shop at Lidl, and struggle with doing all the housework and chores on top of a full-time job because I have pain and fatigue. That's my everyday reality. Having one day out walking around Belgravia doesn't make it any less true.