Partner is so greedy & costing me a fortune

[Chocolatelover2023]

I have lived in partner’s property for 8 years now and we agreed when I moved in that I would pay for the groceries, the Sky TV, broadband and the vets bills for the dogs we own.

Partner pays the council tax ( he pays single occupancy and gets a discount ), water, gas and electricity.

Now living here for the last couple of years has been like living like I’m back at home with my parents.

I am not allowed to have a bath.

I can only wash my clothes once a month ( I have to ask him before hand as he says the water pipes are often turned off? )

We sometimes eat in the dark and the lights are turned off after a certain time.

I am not even allowed to use the oven unless he is also putting something in the oven.

I can just about manage a shower a day for 10 minutes.

We cant flush the toilet unless someone has been for a number 2.

Toilet will then be flushed at the end of the day causing a horrific smell of urine in the bathroom.

My partner pays a month:

Electricity £60
Water £25
Gas £30
Council Tax £90

I pay a month:

Groceries £400
Dog food £40
Broadband £20
Sky £100
And also covering the vet bills, annual vaccinations, flea and worm treatment.

I do a weekly food shop averaging around £100 a week split at Aldi and Asda.

The food will be gone within 3/4days, as partner is so greedy and then complains there is no food in the house.

I try to limit what I eat to save money.

Partner will just eat what he wants.
He will use all the veg within days and the fridge will empty.

I will buy two huge bags of baking potatoes and they will be gone within 4 days as he will use 3/4 for one meal of jacket potatoes and the rest he will make mash/ roast potatoes with.

Hardly any left for me.

I cannot afford to keep doing these big weekly shops, he moans that he pays all the bills, but my bills are massive compared to his.

I have just paid £200 for my dog’s antibiotics who was ill last week.

He me his bank card and promised to me pay half but gave me the wrong PIN, so I had to pay all the bill myself.

Partner is very wealthy, he owns several Buy to Let’s and his parents are very rich too.

We have been arguing a lot lately as partner was annoyed I never got his dad a Fathers’s Day card/ present.
Again these things cost money, something partner does not seem to grasp.

I dont see why I should as I dont particularly like his dad and defo do not see him in a fatherly role, and plus I have my own dad!

I have suggested that I move out and get my own place as I cannot keep living like this.
His parents live next door and are always sticking there nose in our business.

Partner has just started a new job and his mum text me asking why I was not cooking for him.
I work full time myself, have to do all the cleaning and look after the dogs!

Partner has suffered from depression in the past ( so have I ) but living like this is really making me feel down, I feel like a prisoner.
I do not love him, not attracted to him and I have only stayed for my beautiful dogs who I love so much.

I really dont know what to do as partner will always make me feel guilty every time I have tried to leave in the past.

Also hoping that this is not real but in case it is.

This guy sounds like an utter loser as well as controlling.

You say you don't love him. That alone should be a reason not to be with him I the first place.

Make plans to leave ASAP. This is a miserable existence.

The only unreasonable thing here is that you actually tolerate this wanker and his atrocious behaviour.
Get your ducks in a row and get as far away as possible from this vile specimen

He is financially abusive and commuting tax fraud. How can you stand to stay with him, he sounds vile? You'd be better off alone than in this abusive relationship.

😂🤣

Is he really well off?

He sounds hard work and zero benefit to him

Is there a single reason why you're with him?

1. Close down the accounts. Or get your name removed if they are jointly held.
2. Take the pets and leave.

What a tyrant! His actions show he is a greedy miser and he's only using you. He doesn't love you.

LTB and take the lovely dogs with you.

Don't just leave, run for the hills. I'd secretly sort out other accomadation then move out with the dogs and leave him a note telling him your gone

Take the dogs and go. He can sit in the dark alone, smelling his wee.
😆

No wonder he is rich, he must be laughing all the way to the bank.

Surely you cabn have a better life far away from this specimen and his parents.

Read back what you've written and then see if you can work out what has happened to you when younger that makes you believe it's OK for another human being to treat you this way.

Then move out, with the dogs, and concentrate on working through whatever the issue/s you've identified above are.

This is not living,merely existing
You don't love him and are paying the lions share of household expenses
Firstly he is comitting fraud by claiming single occupancy discount
Secondly he's a controlling bully who does not love you or your dogs!
You're not trapped there
Pack up and leave, and find a better life

I'm another who is struggling to believe that this is real, nobody would put up with living like that, surely. Just in case though...

I have suggested that I move out and get my own place as I cannot keep living like this - DO IT NOW!! And dump him while you are at it.

He's abusing you.

Get out and live your life, that's no way to live.

Didn’t read to the end. The beginning and middle were enough. Sounds like modern slavery

This is gross.

I can’t imagine he’s clean and fresh enough for you to have a good sex life.

I never post on "Leave your OH" posts but this is financial and emotional abuse. Please for the love of god, run for the hills!

Perhaps the water is metered and he's restricting OP's usage of water in a crazed attempt to conceal the fraudulent lie of single occupancy? Which suggests a serious degree of paranoia and mental instability. Confirmed by the no lights rule and the eating patterns.

You're already paying all your dogs costs; so take them and go.

I only read as far as the toilet flushing and had to stop because I felt sick. I would not live with someone who was not flushing the toilet.

I am not normally in the LTB gang .

However why are you even with him?! Stop wasting your life with this complete low life.

I'd go, and after a while I'd anonymously tip off HMRC and ask them to investigate his affairs. If he's committing fraud in his own property he's likely to be fiddling the books elsewhere in his 'several buy to lets.'

He sounds mentally ill tbh.

You don't love him, you're not attracted to him, he's a massive wanker, and he's tighter than a duck's arsehole.

Yeah, this is such a tough one..

He sounds awful. It is clearly unequal in terms of a relationship and he has gone quite beyond the 'mean' category into abusive. What's worse is that he has what he wants (Sky and food). He's clearly not bothered about washing himself or his clothes.

Your partner is controlling and abusive and a total weirdo and you don’t even fancy him? I like dogs too but bloody hell woman. Get out