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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School detentions

324 replies

Drhollyfrazier · 18/07/2023 10:14

They just don’t sit right with me at all. Teachers don’t want to be there so why do they insist on keeping children after school? I don’t understand where the mentality comes from that they can keep children there as a punishment past when they have to be there. Also lunch time detentions. Kids can have a break which would probably refresh them for the last few hours of the day but keeping them from their friends and a break from out of the classroom is surely only going to bring out an attitude and negative mood for the rest of the day.

When I was in high school 2007-13, I was often given detention for not completing homework, pretty much every week. That’s because I was so depressed during that time I wouldn’t get any sleep all night, having panic attacks, sometimes self harming. Every subjects teacher missed the warning signs of my MH and the response was detentions.

I just think it is absolutely not the right of schools to keep kids after school hours. aibu

OP posts:
DueyCheatemAndHow · 18/07/2023 23:27

Fuck me I'm glad I don't teach anymore. The aggression from the outset... God.

BluNomad · 18/07/2023 23:29

Budgiegirlbob · 18/07/2023 23:26

I don’t give a monkeys about school policy if it puts my child in a potentially dangerous situation

The rules about detention include the fact that schools should consider
Whether suitable travel arrangements can be made by the parent for the pupil. It does not matter if making these arrangements is inconvenient for the parent

Note - it says that it doesn’t matter if it’s inconvenient for the parent. if you genuinely can’t get to school because you don’t drive, neither you or a partner are allowed to leave your jobs, there are no public buses/trains, you can’t arrange a taxi, you have no relatives or friends that can pick up, your child can’t wait in a local coffee shop until you can pick up, the child can’t walk or bike home, then fair enough. But there can’t be many children in this situation.

if all the above is true, then you work with the school to arrange a day/time when you can arrange any of the above. Or your child accepts the consequences of not attending detention.

No, there are zero consequences. My family circumstances will not be affected & people can argue until they are blue in the face but ultimately nothing will be done about failure to attend detentions. Schools will not nor ever affect my ability to earn money for my family

noblegiraffe · 18/07/2023 23:30

ultimately nothing will be done about failure to attend detentions.

Schools can, and do issue escalated sanctions for failure to attend detentions and schools do have the right to sanction pupils.

Budgiegirlbob · 18/07/2023 23:31

Well ultimately I’ll do what I like but school is not able to diminish the authority of parents or student autonomy which they seem to think they can. I’ll see what happens but hell will freeze over if think they can upset my work/family balance by issuing pathetic detentions that do not work anyway

Well, I pity the school that you send your child to. Or the teacher that dares to diminish your authority. No wonder teachers are leaving in droves if they have to put up with this sort of utter shit. And still parents complain about poor behaviour and lack of discipline in schools.

Budgiegirlbob · 18/07/2023 23:33

people can argue until they are blue in the face but ultimately nothing will be done about failure to attend detentions

Thats just not true in most cases.

BluNomad · 18/07/2023 23:34

noblegiraffe · 18/07/2023 23:30

ultimately nothing will be done about failure to attend detentions.

Schools can, and do issue escalated sanctions for failure to attend detentions and schools do have the right to sanction pupils.

They cannot enforce detention, despite what their ridiculous policies state. Nobody will do anything if a child repeatedly fails to attend & a parent has a right to walk into school & remove their child. The school doesn’t own them! My Dsis had the same issue & school reported to council, they could not care leas & zero sanction was applied & rightly so

entitledparents · 18/07/2023 23:35

Justonemorecoffeeplease · 18/07/2023 12:03

I know which child of the previous two posters I’d rather teach.

Another experienced secondary teacher here.

Love this.
I have a high performing academic DC who is also doing a sport 12 hour ex a week plus otter stuff. Also had adhd & we communicate with school quite a lot.
They get the odd detention which they do as it's their fault as they di have help in place. Lateness.
Not the right equipment. Forgotten homework or class distrusting

entitledparents · 18/07/2023 23:35

Disruption that should say

Plymsoul · 18/07/2023 23:39

From what I’ve observed, if pupil’s refuse to do detention, then refuse to be in inclusion then they get sent home. Then I suppose the LA has to get involved if the parents want their child in school but not in inclusion… I bet the la (rightly or wrongly) tell the school to drop it quite often… I know this happens when schools want to do a managed transfer for example but the parents don’t want it.

noblegiraffe · 18/07/2023 23:40

Nobody will do anything if a child repeatedly fails to attend

That's what internal isolation is for.

BluNomad · 18/07/2023 23:43

noblegiraffe · 18/07/2023 23:40

Nobody will do anything if a child repeatedly fails to attend

That's what internal isolation is for.

Yes but parent can walk into school & remove them which is what my Dsis did. Isolation is a joke anyway the kids love it

Budgiegirlbob · 18/07/2023 23:46

Yes but parent can walk into school & remove them which is what my Dsis did. Isolation is a joke anyway the kids love it

Why did she do that? What kind of message is she giving her child, that the rules did not apply to them? Presumably there’s more to this than a simple non-attendance of a detention.

BluNomad · 18/07/2023 23:47

Budgiegirlbob · 18/07/2023 23:46

Yes but parent can walk into school & remove them which is what my Dsis did. Isolation is a joke anyway the kids love it

Why did she do that? What kind of message is she giving her child, that the rules did not apply to them? Presumably there’s more to this than a simple non-attendance of a detention.

Why should there be more to it? She doesn’t agree with punishing a child for the ridiculous bs that schools do. Good for her I think

noblegiraffe · 18/07/2023 23:50

BluNomad · 18/07/2023 23:43

Yes but parent can walk into school & remove them which is what my Dsis did. Isolation is a joke anyway the kids love it

Show quote history

If your job is so important that you can't pick your kid up after an after school detention then I'm assuming that it's too important to knock off to go into school to remove your kid from isolation. So they'd be able to make up for the missed detention in isolation, job done. 👍

Budgiegirlbob · 18/07/2023 23:51

Why should there be more to it? She doesn’t agree with punishing a child for the ridiculous bs that schools do. Good for her I think

Ao schools shouldn’t be able to issue sanctions to kids who break the rules? And parents should be able to decide which rules apply to their kids, and which don’t?

Blondeshavemorefun · 18/07/2023 23:54

Drhollyfrazier · 18/07/2023 10:30

So I should’ve been more specific, but I meant detentions for things like being late, no homework, not having PE kit, not having the right equipment (I once got detention for not having a ruler).

It's a lesson they learn

To not be late

To have the right uniform or equipment

Etx

BluNomad · 18/07/2023 23:54

School should be about academic achievement not creating conformity or creating next drones for workforce, anyone who thinks the rules are there for the good of students are idiots

BluNomad · 18/07/2023 23:56

noblegiraffe · 18/07/2023 23:50

If your job is so important that you can't pick your kid up after an after school detention then I'm assuming that it's too important to knock off to go into school to remove your kid from isolation. So they'd be able to make up for the missed detention in isolation, job done. 👍

Show quote history

I didn’t say I did go to school & remove them I said Dsis did & I would just tell my dc to not attend or walk out

noblegiraffe · 18/07/2023 23:58

Failure to complete isolation results in temporary exclusion.

BluNomad · 18/07/2023 23:58

noblegiraffe · 18/07/2023 23:58

Failure to complete isolation results in temporary exclusion.

Oh well it’s temporary

Budgiegirlbob · 19/07/2023 00:00

School should be about academic achievement not creating conformity or creating next drones for workforce, anyone who thinks the rules are there for the good of students are idiots

But teachers can’t teach properly if there are no rules in place . Your statement makes no sense.

BluNomad · 19/07/2023 00:02

Budgiegirlbob · 19/07/2023 00:00

School should be about academic achievement not creating conformity or creating next drones for workforce, anyone who thinks the rules are there for the good of students are idiots

But teachers can’t teach properly if there are no rules in place . Your statement makes no sense.

What people wear or whether they have the correct pens or coloured hair do not affect their ability to learn

Budgiegirlbob · 19/07/2023 00:06

BluNomad · 19/07/2023 00:02

What people wear or whether they have the correct pens or coloured hair do not affect their ability to learn

Show quote history

But you don’t get to decide which rules should apply and which shouldn’t. And as has been explained up thread, having the correct equipment is important.

If you don’t want a school to sanction kids who have incorrect uniform/hair colour, then home school, choose a different school, discuss with the school, or start a petition to get the rules changed. Don’t just tell your child that the rules don’t apply to them.

fitzwilliamdarcy · 19/07/2023 00:08

Another thread that perfectly demonstrates why teachers are leaving and there’s a recruitment crisis.

BluNomad · 19/07/2023 00:08

Budgiegirlbob · 19/07/2023 00:06

But you don’t get to decide which rules should apply and which shouldn’t. And as has been explained up thread, having the correct equipment is important.

If you don’t want a school to sanction kids who have incorrect uniform/hair colour, then home school, choose a different school, discuss with the school, or start a petition to get the rules changed. Don’t just tell your child that the rules don’t apply to them.

Show quote history

Yawn..my child won’t be going to any detention should they be getting any.end of. Bored of this thread now

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