School detentions

[Drhollyfrazier]

They just don’t sit right with me at all. Teachers don’t want to be there so why do they insist on keeping children after school? I don’t understand where the mentality comes from that they can keep children there as a punishment past when they have to be there. Also lunch time detentions. Kids can have a break which would probably refresh them for the last few hours of the day but keeping them from their friends and a break from out of the classroom is surely only going to bring out an attitude and negative mood for the rest of the day.

When I was in high school 2007-13, I was often given detention for not completing homework, pretty much every week. That’s because I was so depressed during that time I wouldn’t get any sleep all night, having panic attacks, sometimes self harming. Every subjects teacher missed the warning signs of my MH and the response was detentions.

I just think it is absolutely not the right of schools to keep kids after school hours. aibu

You'd end up having to remove your kid from the school then. Schools don't have a list of kids that the behaviour policy doesn't apply to because mummy won't allow it so they get off Scott free. Maybe you can home school.

Or OP could've said something to the teachers?

The OP sounds like they didn't say anything but expected the teachers to see 'warning signs?'.

Except we aren’t talking about behaviour related detentions. Like I said in a PP, I don’t support detentions for things like being late, forgotten equipment and no homework.

Oh come off it. I’m not even being biased, I wouldn’t expect any withdrawn, depressed and self harming 13 year old to approach their teachers and tell them all that when asked where their homework was.

I'm a head of year. When there's repeated missing homework, I offer up homework club, support from subject teachers, lunch time support. If they don't take me up on that and continue to just not do any homework, what would you do?

Lates. If students are late to lessons because they walk round and round the building rather than go to their lessons - too right they can have a lunch time detention! Other students manage to get to their lessons on time.

So how do you think schools should discipline children's rudeness, defiance, bullying etc?

You don’t think rocking up late, without a pen and without having done your homework is a behaviour issue?

If you don’t have sanctions then these things just become optional.

Not saying that teachers shouldn’t recognise and make adjustments for special cases.

Not handing in homework is an incredibly common issue in school, do you think teachers are supposed to be psychic and somehow know who is taking the piss and being lazy and who is struggling with their MH without the child or their parent saying anything?

But that is poor behaviour... Late because they would prefer to chat to their mates before coming into the classroom. Cba doing their homework is defiance

being late

Highly disruptive to lessons. You have literally just started explaining something and kid walks through the door, causes commotion to get to their seat. They won't be the only one, either, so the first 5-10min of a lesson are repeatedly disturbed. Detention there is a deterrent and actually teaches that there is a consequence to being late for work later in life.

forgotten equipment

So who provides this? Ah, yes, the school pays. I get 30 pens every half-term. They rarely last 4 weeks and I am far better at getting them back than most of my collagues. That's just pens. My kids need pencils, rulers, rubbers, calculators, protractors in addition to that. Most don't get returned when lent out, many get purposefully destroyed because the school paid, not the parents, so it's inconsequential fun. Oh, and don't get me started on the 10 times a lesson I ask a student why they haven't started their work and they tell me "don't have a pen!", then need to ask half the class before they find one, or have me run backwards and forwards because no two students realise they need one DESPITE me asking the whole class.

no homework

Frankly, this is only an issue because I get pulled up on results and on the number of students who do/ don't complete it. Because a kid not doing their homework is inevitably my fault.

That's the reality of teaching in the UK and THAT is why kids get detentions for seemingly petty things.

There needs to be consequences for actions. And as schools can't give them a slap round the head these days, there needs to be something.

I had about 3 detentions during my entire secondary school career. I deserved them all.

DD year 7 recently had a lunchtime detention for not doing homework, which I fully support.

I could make excuses for her - she's autistic, adjusting to secondary, struggles with organisation etc. But honestly when I am repeatedly reminding her to do her homework but she'd rather watch YouTube and runs out of time, she has to learn.

A lot of parents show no respect for schools so why should kids? Never mind other kids that actually want to learn

If kids (and parents) follow rules there is no detentions

Pupils need to understand there are consequences. If students are late say by five minutes for a class in which 29 are sitting waiting then that’s 145 minutes of learning wasted.

Secondary teachers often teach about 180 students. We can’t make individual allowances for all of them.

No equipment - teacher then has to find booklet/pen/paper instead of getting on with the lesson. Same pupils rock up repeatedly with nothing - no exercise books, pen or even paper. Too right they get a detention.

My child’s had 2 after school detentions in as many weeks and it might earn them an extra one from the Head. Agree with one of them but not the other. However, I’ve supported the school and talked things through at home. That to me is what parenting entails.

I think people like the OP don’t realise the impact of those low level things in education.

teachers shouldn’t be having to waste time on missing equipment. Pupils need to complete their work - whether set for home or at school - in order to keep up in lessons or for teachers to identify gaps in knowledge.

Lateness has a knock on for everyone.

Try working in a school OP, after one day you would understand.

Just checked our laws and for our local authority it says that detention cannot be applied unless the parent/carer agrees 🤗

Ex-school staff here 🙋‍♀️

but don’t worry, I won’t hold your wrong assumption against you.

Ummm it sounds like you are one of 'those parents' whose little darling can't possibly deserve any punishment. Those parents who make the job more about conflict resolution than teaching. Those parents who after years of disrespect make teachers quit and impact on those students who have never broken any rules.

I never got one single detention at school, and I wasn't perfect by any means. To be getting detentions, pupils have to be complete pains, and disruption others' learning. If they get them, they usually deserve them.

So when you worked in a school you would have been perfectly happy with the constant interruptions of late comers to lessons, no homework being done, multiple children not bringing what they need for school etc.. did you work in a large comprehensive by the way? And were you actually teaching staff?

Ex teacher? Or ex admin/support? If you don't agree with detentions for 'petty' things, what do you suggest?

Except we aren’t talking about behaviour related detentions. Like I said in a PP, I don’t support detentions for things like being late, forgotten equipment and no homework. But persistent lateness, forgotten equipment and no homework IS behaviour related. Again, how do you suggest the teachers deal with it?

I have been lucky two compliant and to be fair well behaved children. Both attend schools in Ireland that don't use detentions. They use restorative justice, I was a bit sceptical in the early days, but I have seen great results. You vandalise - you fix it or replace it. All children are involved in agreeing the "golden rules" they all sign up and when an incident that is malevolent then appropriate justice is decided collectively.

I have to say it seems to work - yes there are the odd few children for whatever reasons need things to be stepped up but generally the use of peer pressure for the greater good - gain a treat seems to work.

I say choose your battles. If there’s something truly out of kilter then raise it with school.

However, to those who think their children can do no wrong and don’t have to abide by the school’s behaviour/homework/attendance policies just take a moment to reflect on how that entitled attitude filters down in the behaviour of some children at school. Everyone needs to learn that there are consequences for actions.

Parents need to understand that education is a partnership, school staff need parents to back them up! It’s in the kids best interests to learn that you follow the rules, you make the effort, you show the respect, or there are consequences. That’s life!