School detentions

[Drhollyfrazier]

They just don’t sit right with me at all. Teachers don’t want to be there so why do they insist on keeping children after school? I don’t understand where the mentality comes from that they can keep children there as a punishment past when they have to be there. Also lunch time detentions. Kids can have a break which would probably refresh them for the last few hours of the day but keeping them from their friends and a break from out of the classroom is surely only going to bring out an attitude and negative mood for the rest of the day.

When I was in high school 2007-13, I was often given detention for not completing homework, pretty much every week. That’s because I was so depressed during that time I wouldn’t get any sleep all night, having panic attacks, sometimes self harming. Every subjects teacher missed the warning signs of my MH and the response was detentions.

I just think it is absolutely not the right of schools to keep kids after school hours. aibu

I can’t get het up about detention as long as it doesn’t affect travel home. My son got one once for forgetting maths homework. Only 10 minutes that’s cool.

Now an hour after school in the middle of winter I’d be arguing to please just take his lunch break or even a whole weeks worth as he catches two busses home in the dark as it is without being later.

Again they can take his phone if he has it during lesson as long as it’s given back at the end of the day as it has his bus ticket. Or they can drive him home I guess. His never had a phone issue just that one detention.

But realistically just follow the rules. A detention is the start of following the behaviour policy if they don’t take step one they can’t move to step two.

I say that as a horrible horrible child at school who loved making my detention teachers life hell since my parents said zero detention ever so it was a fun game it’s just following policy to move onto the next step. Parents not backing the teachers makes the students rule the roost and makes everyone’s lives hell.

Ex school staff? Teacher?
Have you not experienced a lesson starting at ,say, 9 and there are 8 kids missing, 3 of them stroll in 10 minutes late with no pen. The other 5 turn up 5 to 10 minutes later just when you've finished explaining the task?
What do you think the consequences should be?
I've taught lessons where at least half the class don't have a pen. It's just a pen. In a secondary school with say 5 lessons a day. How many of those pens do you think are given back in the last few min when you're packing up and you have to put equipment away, sign report cards, give out homework? Multiply that by 5 lessons a day five days a week.

For a start I do not ’rock up’ anywhere & the school do not give lunch time detentions as a standard they are always after school so to give maximum inconvenience hence why she would not be attending any

they are always after school so to give maximum inconvenience hence why she would not be attending any

Isn’t that the point of an after school detention? And what exactly will you do when she gets in worse trouble for not attending the detention? You’re not doing the school or your child any favours by being so stubborn about it.

Honestly I don’t care, the job I have is far more important than a detention

See, if you genuinely can't get your kid home after a detention, and they can't get a bus, or a lift home with someone else or whatever, then the reasonable solution is to negotiate a different sanction with the school, like a lunchtime detention.

The dick move is to throw your weight around and say "my kid doesn't do detentions".

Honestly I don’t care, the job I have is far more important than a detention

Then you’d better hope that the school agrees with you, and will rearrange the detention. Because you can’t just decide your child won’t attend detention. It doesn’t work that way. School doesn’t need your permission to keep her there after school.

I've not had first hand experience we haven't had issues with hitting/kicking since Senior infants (aged 5/6). My understanding is you remove the child calming identify what is happening for that child in that moment.

That might be what you do with 5/6 year olds. What about when they're 15/16? You think a teacher, very likely a woman, can calmly remove a six foot 15/16 yo who doesn't want to be removed?

School is not the authority on home/working life & I could not care less what school would think

@Budgiegirlbob we’ve been over this- schools can’t just keep kids in. All they can do is give further sanctions if the kid doesn’t do the detention- the poster saying her job is too important to mess around with after school detention would probably prefer half a day in inclusion- it’s more convenient.

I’ll probably homeschool with tutors tbh if they start throwing their weight around, it’s more conducive to our family life plus then I don’t have to deal with the appalling state school system. State schools are an absolute shambles

Please do.

@BluNomad I home educate with tutors, after school was unable to meet my disabled child’s needs.

My mum also had an important and demanding job- I never got detention at school (except a lunch time one for having a white bobble in my hair), but if I had she would have said the same as you. That is, that can’t happen because my child will be stranded without school transport, and I can’t leave work to deal with it.

the poster saying her job is too important to mess around with after school detention would probably prefer half a day in inclusion- it’s more convenient

What about what is best for her DD? Does that not matter?

I’ll probably homeschool with tutors tbh if they start throwing their weight around.

That’s probably for the best if you are not prepared to accept school policies. I’m sure the teachers would far prefer you do that.

Thank you exactly this point that schools don’t take into account.

I don’t give a monkeys about school policy if it puts my child in a potentially dangerous situation.

Except they do.

Here you go:

It makes no difference to me if they do or they don’t; I will decide what is best for my child’s safety & wellbeing not them.

I see. So when told you were wrong, you just decided that doesn't matter anyway.

That is of very little concern to me, I really don’t care about school policy I care only about family policy

Then you would definitely be best homeschooling.

Well ultimately I’ll do what I like but school is not able to diminish the authority of parents or student autonomy which they seem to think they can. I’ll see what happens but hell will freeze over if think they can upset my work/family balance by issuing pathetic detentions that do not work anyway. Detentions are absolutely not enforceable anyway & councils don’t give a damn if students won’t attend (I know this from experience)

I don’t give a monkeys about school policy if it puts my child in a potentially dangerous situation

The rules about detention include the fact that schools should consider
Whether suitable travel arrangements can be made by the parent for the pupil. It does not matter if making these arrangements is inconvenient for the parent

Note - it says that it doesn’t matter if it’s inconvenient for the parent. if you genuinely can’t get to school because you don’t drive, neither you or a partner are allowed to leave your jobs, there are no public buses/trains, you can’t arrange a taxi, you have no relatives or friends that can pick up, your child can’t wait in a local coffee shop until you can pick up, the child can’t walk or bike home, then fair enough. But there can’t be many children in this situation.

if all the above is true, then you work with the school to arrange a day/time when you can arrange any of the above. Or your child accepts the consequences of not attending detention.

Quite what sanction would you be happy with @Drhollyfrazier
I may have missed it.
It's about the only thing teens dislike