School detentions

[Drhollyfrazier]

They just don’t sit right with me at all. Teachers don’t want to be there so why do they insist on keeping children after school? I don’t understand where the mentality comes from that they can keep children there as a punishment past when they have to be there. Also lunch time detentions. Kids can have a break which would probably refresh them for the last few hours of the day but keeping them from their friends and a break from out of the classroom is surely only going to bring out an attitude and negative mood for the rest of the day.

When I was in high school 2007-13, I was often given detention for not completing homework, pretty much every week. That’s because I was so depressed during that time I wouldn’t get any sleep all night, having panic attacks, sometimes self harming. Every subjects teacher missed the warning signs of my MH and the response was detentions.

I just think it is absolutely not the right of schools to keep kids after school hours. aibu

Im trying to be a pretty balanced parent but yes, i have a real complex with someone trying to overide me

@justpushingthrough Parents shouldn’t have full “control” though at this age, that’s really unhealthy.

Im trying to be a pretty balanced parent but yes, i have a real complex with someone trying to overide me, so whilst I have this opinion re detention by no means does it mean my kids run feral, my punishments would/will be far more effective and harsh that any detention could be if for example they were bullying/vandalizing etc

A teacher isn't overriding you by issuing a detention. They are simply making sure that your child follows the school rules, and putting in place consequences if they don't. Your child's sports coaches surely have rules and consequences in place as well? Surely you understand that you are not (and should not be ) the only adult with authority in your child's life?

Or, as you stated upthread that you are ok with lunchtime detentions, are you only against detentions when they are an inconvenience to you?

You do realise that teachers themselves don't make the policies, right? Teachers are made to implement them, even if they mean that they themselves are screwed! In fact, you might not even realise this, but teachers are observed by the leadership team to ensure that they are checking for planners, equipment, uniform, make up, false eyelashes, false nails, earrings, and a long etc. in addition to having to perform lunchtime/toilet duties, run clubs, do restorative conversations, run homework clubs, go on trips, etc etc. This is all outside actual teaching, league tables, preparing lessons, marking, parents evening, etc.

Most teachers I know have to purchase spare pens and pencils for their students out of their own pocket, only for students to borrow them, because they've forgotten the basics one needs in school, and either kept them, lost them, destroyed them, etc. I have never known a student to forget their mobile phone, yet they seem to forget pens, homework, books, rulers, etc on a regular basis.

Students rocking up even a couple of minutes late to their lessons is extremely disruptive to everyone. It is not feasible for a teacher to try and get to the bottom of each student's difficulties. Parents need to start accepting the responsibility of bringing children into this word. Schools are not responsible for everything. And don't even get me started on mental health, and how much parents expect schools not just to do their parenting, but also fix their childrens' mental health.

I think for bad behaviour and repeatedly not doing something (arriving on time, homework etc) they should get a detention.
My kids school see to give out detentions for any old reason. They don't do break or lunch detentions so it's always after school.

My 15 year old son got given a 45 minute after school detention for "nodding enthusiastically" during lesson. The teach claimed he was mocking him so issued him a after school. I phoned up and gave them hell for it, they were only going on what the teacher was saying. I demanded they check the cctv and they did and came to the conclusion there was no mocking so it was dropped. If he was genuinely mocking a teacher I'd have no problem of him being punished but over nodding I thought it was a joke.

If you decide you don’t choose to abide by whatever sanction the school chooses for poor behaviour of any type, you are choosing to show your child that they don’t need to meet expectations and that you, as their parent, will ignore the rules and expectations you signed up to when your child joined the school.

You have the choice to school them at home and there will be no issue at all. No one will override you then. Not sure how that will pan out in the workplace though.

My kid has learnt that isolation is pretty nice because he can do sod all in peace and quiet and maybe have a nap.

But the teacher can get on with teaching and the other pupils can get on with learning without being interrupted by his disruptive behaviour. It's not all about him.

@Drhollyfrazier - just out of interest, what would you want the school to do if your daughter came home and said something like this?

"I'm really worried about not getting the grades I could in maths - my teacher spends the first ten minutes of the lesson sorting out equipment and repeating herself for the children who've come in late. They do it every day and she can't give them detentions for it, because their parents complain. We're getting more and more behind and we aren't going to finish the course. If I don't get my grades, I won't get into sixth form or university."

Im trying to be a pretty balanced parent but yes, i have a real complex with someone trying to overide me,

I have no horse in this race but am curious. How is the school overriding you if you consented to their policies when you chose to send your kid there?

I think it’s hard for schools to get it right. There are kids who have issues at home or other things going on that can result in them not having equipment/correct uniform etc but schools don’t seem to have the staff/resources to investigate. Detentions are issued when it’s the last thing some kids need or deserve.

I do think getting a detention for forgetting a book once in 4 years is ridiculous, a situation my son found himself in. He’s was a good student, always behaved well, did homework etc. Thankfully his form teacher stepped in and got it cancelled as he felt it too much, before I even knew about it.

My other child has autism and is a rule follower. She is petrified of forgetting something, making a mistake, getting caught up in something that results in detention. A detention if she forgets something will only damage her and if it ever happened, I would refuse to let her do it.

But teachers do need some form of discipline for some kids. I really don’t envy their job at all.

Local authorities don’t make the law. That maybe the LEA’s policy but it’s not the law.

I used to teach in secondary and would argue that lateness, forgotten equipment and no homework are behaviour related. They are defined as low-level disruption and account for a massive amount of lost learning across the school year. Ensuring that parents and pupils understand the impact of these behaviours is something that the school should take the time to address at the start of each academic year. The response to them (ie. detention) needs to be clearly outlined in the behaviour policy, which as a parent you agree to when you enroll your child in that school. Personally, I would rather build positive relationships with pupils than issue detentions, but in my experience there is little else that works. I worked in a school where reparative justice was applied - it involved a lot of talking with pupils and parents and changed very little. A massive amount of time was wasted every lesson.

How does that work when one child has given another a kicking?

What would the punishment be?

I agree with you. For example one particular bus always go 5 minutes late. So they don’t ask reason and marking as late. It’s too harsh for above reason

So define 'appropriately'

I agree with you. It’s just showing their power. Teachers screaming and shouting at children for not doing homework. They say homework club is there. It’s a joke actually children have to do their homework by themselves without any help.

An the school one of my children went to, they had all detentions after school on a Friday. Any detention imposed Monday to Wednesday you did Friday of that week. Thursday or Friday the following week.

If your child is in secondary school and can't do their homework on their own than you've got a bigger problem than detentions.

@justpushingthrough I don't have children in school anymore and when they were they didn't get any detentions. I normally try and post respectfully on threads but, dear god, can you not hear how twattish you sound?

If your child is in secondary school and can't do their homework on their own than you've got a bigger problem than detentions.

Well yes. That’s the point. Some kids do have ‘bigger problems’.

Oops-pressed too soon. School finished an hour early on Friday- it was that extra hour the kids lost so it didn't interfere with transport.

What’s the point of home work club?

No one has mentioned teachers screaming or shouting. At secondary pupils should be able to do their homework themselves, or ask parents for help then hand it in on time. That's the point of homework, the clue is in the title.

I think you are genius in all subjects and you don’t need any help.

So being late is acceptable??
no PE kit is acceptable??
if secondary school kids can’t remember these things with the occasional reminder from parents then they need to be punished!
in my sons school if a pe kit is forgotten then they have to do pe in their uniform and that includes cross country in the middle of winter!

At secondary pupils should be able to do their homework themselves, or ask parents for help then hand it in on time. That's the point of homework, the clue is in the title.

You're really naive as to the issues some kids are dealing with themselves and with their home lives.