School detentions

[Drhollyfrazier]

They just don’t sit right with me at all. Teachers don’t want to be there so why do they insist on keeping children after school? I don’t understand where the mentality comes from that they can keep children there as a punishment past when they have to be there. Also lunch time detentions. Kids can have a break which would probably refresh them for the last few hours of the day but keeping them from their friends and a break from out of the classroom is surely only going to bring out an attitude and negative mood for the rest of the day.

When I was in high school 2007-13, I was often given detention for not completing homework, pretty much every week. That’s because I was so depressed during that time I wouldn’t get any sleep all night, having panic attacks, sometimes self harming. Every subjects teacher missed the warning signs of my MH and the response was detentions.

I just think it is absolutely not the right of schools to keep kids after school hours. aibu

Lol so you don't this is a issue with the child?
so you say they don't have to do the detention, what exactly are you teaching your children?
They don't have to do the work, rock up when they like, don't come equipped, but don't worry there’s no punishment as mommy will sort it?
how do you think that will help them as they get older?

Detention is not the first choice of consequence at my DD's school, before a detention can be issued the child must first* have had a warning, a discussion with the teacher and/or headteacher, a discussion with teacher, headteacher and parents, only then comes a detention (and if the behaviour continues then a multidisciplinary meeting, then removal from school)
*unless its something very serious like violence in which case the first resort is removal from the classroom and spending the rest of the day with the headteacher

Not doing homework would mean having to attend an extra lesson before or after school (run every week anyway for those that need extra help)

Yes some kids D's have issues. Lots of kids don't as well and just don't do their homework. Why should they go unpunished?

The point is to give access to a quiet space which many kids don't have in chaotic homes. The kids are also able to ask for help if they need it, but this will be limited. At that age they should really be approaching their teacher well in advance of the homework deadline to explain they're struggling and ask for help/scaffolding.

No. Just because a child has a chaotic homelife, does not mean expectations should be lower. They need to learn to advocate for themselves quickly, especially if they have a bad homelife.

Not doing homework would mean having to attend an extra lesson before or after school (run every week anyway for those that need extra help)

Isn't that just similar to doing a detention though? Effectively a compulsory homework club session.

As I said, it's your child's responsibility to ask the teacher for help before the deadline. Go up to them after the lesson, or email and explain they're struggling. Kids in secondary know this. Homework is based on class work, you don't need to be a genius. Again, if your child cannot access the homework, than they're either not listening or the homework is too difficult.

As I said, it's your child's responsibility to ask the teacher for help before the deadline. Go up to them after the lesson, or email and explain they're struggling

This. My kids were always told by their teachers that if they didn't understand or were struggling with some homework, then they must ask or email the teacher in advance of the homework deadline. I appreciate that some children will be better at doing this than others, but the option was always there.

I agree with you 100%. Detentions should be used behaviour related issues.

Exactly. And really, out of all the many things that are arguably quite useless in later life, this is actually a very useful skill to learn whilst at school. If you don't understand or are confused, ask for help before the deadline.

All of the above are behaviour related issues.

Categorically not the case at our school. They implemented a no tolerance policy on any forgotten equipment and homeworks, and they are not unique in doing that. First forgotten homework, first forgotten ruler, even in an English lesson, even in Y7. Everyone ends up getting one sooner or later. And when they do their detentions they realise it's normal, that even the best behaved kids are there not just the "complete pains" as you put it.

I don't love it but we work with it. Never mind, we all mistakes, see you at 4pm. Very different to when I was at school myself.

I agree with you 100%. Detentions should be used behaviour related issues

But repeated lateness, missing equipment and not doing homework are behaviour related.

A good friend of mine is a secondary school teacher. After teaching at several schools, she started (by co-incidence) teaching at my sons school. His school were really tough on seemingly petty issues, and in the first couple of terms of year 7 would issue detentions for the smallest of things. It seemed really harsh at first, but it was amazing how quickly children learned not to be late, and to bring the correct equipment. My friend said it was the first school she has taught in where you could walk in to the classroom and just start teaching, without having to sort out a myriad of problems first. It made the world of difference, to both my friend, and my son.

In some ways similar yes but its not something extra that means a teacher has to give extra time to supervise as this is built into the timetable already and its just about extra help with classwork or homework, its not for behavioural issues which are dealt with by discussions and trying to get to the root cause (especially if it gets to the level of multidisciplinary when the school psychologist and child welfare can be involved)

No. Just because a child has a chaotic homelife, does not mean expectations should be lower. They need to learn to advocate for themselves quickly, especially if they have a bad homelife.

You are utterly and completely clueless amongst other things.

An example from one of my sons friends at school a few years ago. This boys parents split, parents were at war and this boy tried to keep the peace. Dad had an affair and mum would do anything to stop the boy seeing his dad, who had threatened suicide if he couldn’t see his boy. One of his books got thrown out by dad by mistake one weekend in the chaos of a newly moved into house, so although he had done his homework, it was in his book and he couldn’t show it. The boy knew that his mum would go mad at his dad and try to stop him going if he said his dad threw his book away. The school knew the child’s parents had split and he was under the pastoral team. This child was a good kid, but instead of giving him the benefit of the doubt, they gave him a detention every time that book didn’t turn up.

So yeah, some kids have a lot going on! He couldn’t advocate for himself without thinking his dad might end up dead. The school were faced with a kid that they knew had had some changes at home, was struggling, was speaking to a counsellor at school but there was no kindness or compassion. Just detentions.

@Nanny0gg I've not had first hand experience we haven't had issues with hitting/kicking since Senior infants (aged 5/6). My understanding is you remove the child calming identify what is happening for that child in that moment. The idea is to sort the root of the issue.

The kind of issues I have heard was one child broke the treat jar while messing about while the teacher stepped out. It was glass - nobody hurt thankfully. They were 11 so 5th class here - old enough to know better. The teacher sat them around and discussed the trust they had built up in their class and how it afforded them all easier access to free time/engagement with sports equipment when work was done. How the breach of this trust impacted all so they were asked as a group led by the child who had taken the action to work out a way to sort this out.

They came up with the child missing the film night and working with an adult cleaning it up and apologising. It is really a mindset and I probably am not explaining it well.

We don't have too many physical issues - it is a small school (less than 400 in primary, and the same in secondary). There is a lot of close support for those that need support - be it officially with a behavioural challenge or those who for whatever reason have quick reactive behaviour.

I remember as a child seeing one teacher a lifetime ago throwing a bucket of cold water on two boys fighting when I was a child. Probably not ideal but it worked.

Detention is the only deterrent left for teachers.
Although I agree that for some it will be ineffective but for those every other means would have also been ineffective.
It's up to parents to have the right attitude towards teachers and schools and really important for them to understand that policies put in place by schools are often in line with government requirements and this attitude will then tub off onto the children.
Without parents instilling respect for teachers In their children, children are bound to fail and those same parents find their child's school lacking in some form or other.

YABU. It's a good life lesson for them. I have a teenager.

Two threads slating schools started by people without kids in them.

It's all well and good saying kids have issues outside of school, those issues can be dealt in other ways by parents, schools, other outside agency's. Detention should not stop because of this. The majority of kids don't do homework, are late etc don't have other issues, they are just misbehaving, schools need a solution to deal with this. Lateness and homework refusal takes time away from other students, this is not acceptable in high school and needs a punishment to stop them.

Ds who has long since left school had detention every single day of secondary school. He would have to book them in for three or four weeks later because they were handed out for every transgression. It was duty manager's job to supervise but there were so many in detention it was like a youth club and I think they saw it as an opportunity to hang out with their mates.

How do you suggest schools keep order and ensure children floow the rules? Would it be better to have kids hitting each other and sweating at staff etc without any consequences?

Most secondary schools are not the utopia many posters feel they are. Kids do not magically stop misbehaving because a nice pastoral person has given them some 1.1 counselling sessions. Kids do not suddenly start handing in homework because they are invited to attend homework clubs. They don't stop being violent after a conversation where the victim explains how they feel. There are kids in our schools who disrupt lessons day after day. They swear, throw things, make serial comments, hit or push or mock others. They receive support and help but it will make little difference. They take time away from other kids who also need help and support. Schools cannot undo years of poor parenting.

It's very similar in Primary School these days to; and you can't do right for doing wrong, as far as parents are concerned.

It's very similar in Primary School these days to; and you can't do right for doing wrong, as far as parents are concerned.

There is a lot of do-gooders around who assume that every badly behaved kid is somehow hard done by and needs coddling rather than consequences. There also schools that award detentions for total nonsense like sock length. It's really impossible to come up with a solution that fits all.