School detentions

[Drhollyfrazier]

They just don’t sit right with me at all. Teachers don’t want to be there so why do they insist on keeping children after school? I don’t understand where the mentality comes from that they can keep children there as a punishment past when they have to be there. Also lunch time detentions. Kids can have a break which would probably refresh them for the last few hours of the day but keeping them from their friends and a break from out of the classroom is surely only going to bring out an attitude and negative mood for the rest of the day.

When I was in high school 2007-13, I was often given detention for not completing homework, pretty much every week. That’s because I was so depressed during that time I wouldn’t get any sleep all night, having panic attacks, sometimes self harming. Every subjects teacher missed the warning signs of my MH and the response was detentions.

I just think it is absolutely not the right of schools to keep kids after school hours. aibu

Yes it would be, but since they came out of my vagina i decide what happens and when.

I 100% agree, I think it's archaic and out of step with modern understanding of children as full human beings worthy of respect and good treatment. It should have gone out with throwing bits of chalk at kids' heads in my opinion.

As for people asking how to respond to undesirable behaviour etc., well obviously I think it should be dealt with appropriately, and that doesn't include arbitrarily forcing a child to remain in a place longer than they have to be there. It's almost always entirely unrelated to the problem in the first place. Persistent bad language? Stay at school for an extra hour. What? How does that make sense.

Wanted to add in my comment too that we don't ask adults to stay late at work for bad behaviour. Rule breaking at work is dealt with in a proportional way, with repercussions usually basically mirroring the problem. If adults can't be held hostage for acting out then I don't see why it's acceptable to do it to children.

What I don’t agree with about detentions is when it’s for a basic human error, like getting a day wrong and not having your homework on the right day as a one-off, or forgetting your pencil case once or whatever. We all make mistakes and forget things from time to time. In DD’s current school, when it was the transition day last year, some girls were almost given an after school detention for being late to the class after lunch - but they’d got lost! Things like that are ridiculous, unnecessary and don’t serve any purpose, but for big things like bullying, vandalism, bad behaviour in classes, or persistent lack of homework etc I agree with it.

As for people asking how to respond to undesirable behaviour etc., well obviously I think it should be dealt with appropriately, and that doesn't include arbitrarily forcing a child to remain in a place longer than they have to be there. It's almost always entirely unrelated to the problem in the first place. Persistent bad language? Stay at school for an extra hour. What? How does that make sense

So what does make sense? What would be an appropriate consequence? I'm not necessarily disagreeing with you about detentions, there may be a better way, but what would that be? Bearing in mind teachers are already overworked and understaffed?

Some of the other options no longer exist, supportive parents likewise often not there. They may be used too much but sometimes may be the only option available.

Wonder how some of these parents/teens will manage in future if they end up in judicial system.
'Absolutely not your Honour, my baby won't do what you say, I'm in charge here'...

Very rarely are after schools for minor infringements. It’s often for accumulative low levels or for something more serious. Both of which need addressing.

I would be interested to read what parents who don’t ‘believe’ in detentions would like to offer instead. Please bear in mind the scale of the issue when we are talking about large secondary schools so saying ‘just have a conversation’ doesn’t really work in most cases. What would you like me to do with the 5 students who are frequently late and without correct equipment in Y10. That’s just one class. A five minute conversation with them individually would take up over half my lunchtime which I already use for marking and preparing for the next lesson. Refer them to HOY? He’s dealing with more urgent issues like fighting safeguarding etc. Instead we note the lateness, lack of equipment on our reporting software which will generate data to be followed up with, guess what, a detention. Seems a sensible approach to me.

I'm not a behavioural/teaching professional, so I don't know. But that doesn't mean I don't believe in my reasons for being against detentions. It's a bit like how I don't believe kids should be put in the corner with a dunce cap on - I don't necessarily know what directly replaces that nowadays, but clearly something does because it's not a done practice any more. Things like meetings with parents, having to do tasks like litter picking or otherwise giving back to the school community, not being able to go on trips if behaviour is bullying or dangerous, that kind of thing.

Things like meetings with parents, having to do tasks like litter picking or otherwise giving back to the school community,

And when the same parents who say 'my child isn't doing any detentions' also say 'my child isn't staying after school to do litter picking', what then? And who is supposed to supervise the litter picking? At least with a detention in a classroom, the teacher can get on with marking or some other task.

At our school failure to attend detention = internal exclusion which seems fair to me. I don't want my kids education messed around by teachers having to deal with a load of disruptive, unprepared students.

@Drhollyfrazier it is somewhat up to parents and pupils to communicate with the school if their are problems at home/with mental health/SEN etc that affect homework, preparedness, attendance etc so they can make exceptions/offer support. I would hope that after a certain number of detentions parents would be called in and pastoral support would become involved though.

Litter picking: parental complaint
Not on a trip: parental complaint

I’ve experienced both of these.

The avalanche of complaints we receive is beyond most parents’ imaginings.

That’s why a clear behaviour policy with defined sanctions such as a detention is needed.

I think you need to ask yourselves what does your child gain from never having a sanction?

Did you really believe that when the bell rings, the teachers go home?

and are they missing a lesson to do the litter picking? Or maybe we could invent some sort of after school or lunchtime session for it, any idea what we can call it?

we have had the same with trips. Students on report all year, told clearly if they don’t correct their behaviour they can’t go on the reward trip… parent wrote to the governors complaining he wasn’t allowed on the trip and it was unfair.

Meetings with parents rely on parental input which is often lacking - what do you do if the parent refuses? What if that doesn’t change things?

things like litter picking are surely just detention in a different setting? They are still going to be doing the activity in the free time not lessons.

Home school then.

Different country - but in my school there were no detentions or official punishments. If you misbehaved in class - you'd get a failing grade in that class.

My main bug bear with detentions is what the kids that get them actually learn. My kid has learnt that isolation is pretty nice because he can do sod all in peace and quiet and maybe have a nap. When I worked at a Positive Behaviour Support school we got rid of detentions and actually thought about why the kids were naffing about and it was much more effective than 20 of them (the same 20) going to the "detention room" every single day. I think school behaviour policies need some serious consideration about how kids who struggle fit into those rules. My kid with ADHD is naturally forgetful, impulsive, scruffy, disorganised, forgets things seconds after someone tells him... All things he gets regular detentions for.

And this is exactly why there are so many problem kids these days, because parents have attitudes like this.

You’re just setting them up for failure as adults 🤷‍♀️

Well, you've a few years left in which to socialise your children into acceptable behaviour outside the home . Then they'll never require any detention by teachers, the police, courts etc.

So this isn't actually a school thing at all is it?

You just believe you're the only person who gets to make decisions for your DC?

While I don't know that I disagree with the basic principle, I'm interested in how you see yourself/your DC managing the transition to adulthood? They'll have a lot of skills to learn if they've never been in a situation where they need to make a decision, be responsible for their actions and/or think about how people other than their mother may view their behaviour/conduct in a situation?

Positive Behaviour Support school we got rid of detentions and actually thought about why the kids were naffing about and it was much more effective

So obvious question is: where did your thoughts lead you?
If you worked out that Kid A acted up because he was hangry, kid B because he was bored, kid C because he didn't understand a word, kid D because he was goaded, kid E because of something happening beforehand, kid F for shits and giggles...how did you deal with six students, ruining a lesson for 20 other learners?

I really would urge everyone parent to read your child's school behaviour policy, I think some of you will be shocked!

But even with the positive approaches sometimes there still needs to be consequences.

the school Ds goes to is very big of the looking at the route of behaviour and the positive support side of things. The head has recently won a National award for her work. But they still use detentions and other punishments when necessary.

They have to make decisions every day, i actively encourage them to make their own choices and decisions without me getting involved.

For example if they have fall outs with their friends, someone is being mean to them we talk about what they could do, how they would speak up, who they could tell. Im actually a relatively "hands off" parent and rarely, if ever, have to step in on their behalf when something doesn't go their way or they are unhappy about something.

Manners & behavior are something we expect and enforce, they are taught they can speak out but must always be respectful when doing so, if for example they accidentally throw down their ipad and the screen breaks they have to pay to fix it ( real story) which meant they were without an ipad for 4 months.

In their competitive sport they are taught resilience, hard work & failure but they have also learned to have a large diverse group of friends, success only comes with hard work and motivation.

Im trying to be a pretty balanced parent but yes, i have a real complex with someone trying to overide me, so whilst I have this opinion re detention by no means does it mean my kids run feral, my punishments would/will be far more effective and harsh that any detention could be if for example they were bullying/vandalizing etc.