Do I go on holiday or save my money for ivf?

[gonetoseethewizard]

I've had the worst 3 years of my entire life (family troubles and fertility issues) and I'm at complete rock bottom mentally. We last went on holiday 5 years ago and would really like to go again. The holiday isn't cheap - it's approx. 6 grand. (Destination isn't negotiable as it's the only place we want to go, I've made it as cheap as possible too).

However...

It's looking more and more likely that I will need ivf for any chance of conception (one blocked tube, ttc for almost two years).

I'm really concerned about spending our money on a holiday when I will more than likely need it for ivf treatments in the near future. I feel so guilty to spend it all on a holiday but I know this is the last holiday we'd have for a long while again due to treatment and my parents are getting more dependant on us so I wouldn't be able to leave them much longer.
We just seriously need a break before facing anything else.

Do I forget the holiday and save the money for ivf? Or do I go on holiday and then either take out a loan or continue to save for ivf afterwards?

Can you not go on a cheaper holiday? Why does it have to be a specific location?

Would you be eligible for free IVF where you live? If you know you'd have to pay private then I would look to go somewhere cheaper on holiday and save the rest for IVF.

Your age and financial situation makes such a huge difference to this that I'm not sure anyone can advise. I'm sorry to hear you're having a tough time. I understand how much a holiday can help, and if that's the price for 2 people it's not too high really. But if you're on a low income and it would take years to save that back again you really need to consider how you'd feel if you missed the boat for IVF. It's not an ideal time to take out a loan, but again depends on your income and how easily you'd pay it back.

Will you get some IVF on the NHS?

See what the nhs have to offer first but personally I’d go on the holiday especially if the care of others will inevitably fall on you in the near future!

Holiday! You need time out.

Thank you all for replying.

The specific location is because it's the only place we want to go otherwise we won't go on holiday at all. It isn't just about going on any holiday. The holiday is 6 grand total for us both.

I'm 30 and my partner is 31.

We get one free round on nhs.

Our income isn't low but we certainly aren't rich or well off. This holiday is expensive to us but seeing as we only go on it once every 4-5 years and go nowhere in between it all levels out really?

There really isn't anywhere else in the whole world you'd like to go for a bit of a break? Nowhere?

@coodawoodashooda

No

I think it really depends if you could afford IV / afford to save for another round if the free round doesn’t work or not, and if not what is more important to you.

I'd say crack on with the ivf. Holidays don't last forever.

I have my 2 ivf babies downstairs. We paid privately and it wasn't cheap but they last a lifetime. If you go private research the success rates of the clinic. I'm forever indebted to Dr Serhal at CRGH.

I think if that's the only place you'd go on holiday then you should prioritise IVF.

It would be nice to have a break though. Could you go ona weekend break somewhere rather than a holiday?

Where do you want to go? And what is your combined income?

I'd say go for IVF. The holiday obviously isn't about have a break, reconnecting etc otherwise you'd be able to do that elsewhere

How quickly would you be able to save up the same amount again? What age are you just now? If you're late 30s then I'd be leaning to the IVF, if you're early 20s and could save up within the next 5 years then holiday.

I also think you're going to get a lot of replies about the one and only super perfect holiday location. Is that non-negotiable cos of sentimental attachment? Or just you don't think anywhere will do?

If it’s really a 6k holiday or you don’t go, which is insane, then I wouldn’t go and would definitely prioritise the IVF.

Going against the grain, but I’d do the holiday. It sounds like you need a break, especially if it seems unlikely you’ll be able to go in the future. Don’t feel guilty about it either, go and enjoy yourself.

@TimeForTeaAndG

I'm 30, husband is 31.

Yes sentimental attachment and personal reasons.

If its just about that destination rather than a holiday in general I'd probably save the money for IVF.

Then maybe both take some time off work and completely switch off from everything. Maybe even just a few days in a peaceful holiday cottage in the country or something. DH and I did that in Wales, just the two of us. Long walks in the day and peaceful nights with a hot tub. Bliss.

@TimeForTeaAndG

I'm 30, husband is 31.

Yes sentimental attachment and personal reasons.

In that case I'd actually prioritise the holiday - it's obviously about that particular location, and if you were successful with your IVF you might not get the chance to go for a while. Then come back, do the NHS round while saving up for private if needed. If not needed, bonus. If you were late 30s my advice would be different.

I've had the worst 3 years of my entire life (family troubles and fertility issues) and I'm at complete rock bottom mentally.

Holiday.

Your mental health is important.

Personally I would do a cheap holiday and prioritise the IVF. Most people going privately actually go without holidays etc to save for it.

How long would it take you to save up £10k, would you be able to borrow against your home?

I think you are young enough to have several rounds of IVF it's about how quickly you could save up to pay for rounds.

IVF is a huge emotional and financial toll. How many rounds would you put yourselves through.

IVF.

Out of multiple ICSI cycles and approx 40k I have one DC.
I was 30 with no fertility issues, DH just had blocked vas deference.