That's my bench - was aibu

[Blueysmumagain]

Genuinely couldn't get over this yesterday. Appreciate its a tiny thing

Husband and I at busy park with 5 yo

Plenty of benches free. One 4 person bench with a pram next to it but no one sitting on it. No bags or coats on bench etc. An empty bench

Husband and I sit at one end. Still space for 2 other people

Woman comes over, picks up pram, and says - in the most passive aggressive tone - "that was my bench actually. But don't you worry about it. I suppose you expect me to move now. Unbelievable

I said "I am very sorry - there is plenty of space, we assumed it was okay"

She walked off to 2 benches down and for the next ten minutes proceeded to tell her friend, when she came over, just how unreasonable we were

Was ibu? Is this a new rule I have missed? Could not believe the looks she kept giving us
.

There were plenty of empty benches so there must be a reason why she decided to plonk herself down on a bench where the chances are someone with a baby was going to return. If there were no other benches then it would be a non-event but I can see why the mother was irritated by it. If the pram had been at the next bench would the OP have sat on that one instead? Just seems a strange thing to do. I know I’d be avoiding a bench with a pram by it if there were other empty benches. The thought of a noisy baby and would be deterrent enough for me.

You are not doing anyone a favour by sitting on the first seat, just keep walking until you get to a free row like everyone else does.

But I don't want to keep walking!

I want to stay near the door & near my luggage.

If someone wants a greater chance of no one sitting next to them-why wouldn't they sit further along?

@Blueysmumagain are you going to come back and answer the question EVERYONE is asking?

Yes her reaction was OTT but equally, if there were loads of free benches, why did you choose the bench with a pram next to it?

This thing whereby everyone feels entitled to a personal exclusion zone the size of Chernobyl in public places is very British.

😆 She sounds batshit! YANBU!

We call it 'doughnutting' and it can happen anywhere.

Cinema, bus, church, train, even parliament.

It's probably caused by race memory going back to Neanderthal Man, when humans bunched together for protection against Sabre-toothed tigers and other predators......

Slightly off topic but many people have a memorial bench with a plaque on, where they go to be close to their departed loved ones. How do they handle it if they go to said bench and someone is sitting on it?

I thought the whole idea of having a bench, by the seaside/in a park with a plaque on was to have it used by all?

If they want a dedicated bench then they should have it in their front/back garden (and I've seen plenty of those)

No idea why you would choose a bench that someone is obviously using, indicated by the pram being left there. Fair enough if there were no other free benches but there were, so why would you do that? Weird.

Bit weird to not use one of the free ones to be fair lol

I'd be interested to know if Op would have moved if the other woman hadn't flounced immediately.

I thought this too. Yes she was a bit rude, but for to say "there's plenty of other benches" you chose to sit on the one with a pushchair next to it?!

Surely this is a wind up?

Loads of empty benches so you choose one that someone is using. I would have moved too, but without saying anything.

You cannot bagsy a bench so she was being a weirdo.

It's not a new rule, but you may have missed it. It's common sense. What was it about that bench that was particularly attractive to you over the other benches? Was it because it was good enough for someone else to have chosen it, so you wanted it too?

If you went into a cafe with numerous empty tables, and saw one with a coat on one of the chairs, would you sit at that table?

Maybe you would. I would pick one of the other ones, because I wouldn't want the owner of the coat to come back, have to pick up the coat and move it to another table muttering under her breath.

Agree with this.
Whilst she wasn’t sitting at it who sits at a bench with a pram next to it when loads of others are free. Very wierd

I suspect the Finnish would make us look like the British don’t have personal space. 😁

So why would you have chosen the bench with a pram next to it over the other empty benches?

Why should I move? I was there first.

Surely it is not hard to scan the carriage and find a seat not right next to someone (unless a busy train of course) rather than encroach on someone's personal space.

The empty seat next to you is not your personal space.

If you want to claim not only the seat you're on but all the ones around you, take a private vehicle.

On public transport your personal space ends where your seat does. Anything above that is a bonus which shouldn't be assumed.

There are lots of reasons why people may need or want to sit in the nearest seat rather than finding a completely empty row, and that's just as valid as those who are happy to look for two empty seats together.

Well, it’s obviously a public bench and anyone can sit there. However, if I saw a pram next to one I would think that maybe someone else intended to sit there and if there were plenty of free ones I would have sat on one of those instead.

I don't think you were unreasonable. A pram next to a bench isn't a reserved sign! To those who are saying you could have gone elsewhere, I can understand that sometimes you want a particular seat.

I have a favourite bench in our local park. Sometimes I find other people sitting there, the nerve!! But I'd never say anything!!!

Where has the OP gone? 🤷‍♀️🤣