That's my bench - was aibu

[Blueysmumagain]

Genuinely couldn't get over this yesterday. Appreciate its a tiny thing

Husband and I at busy park with 5 yo

Plenty of benches free. One 4 person bench with a pram next to it but no one sitting on it. No bags or coats on bench etc. An empty bench

Husband and I sit at one end. Still space for 2 other people

Woman comes over, picks up pram, and says - in the most passive aggressive tone - "that was my bench actually. But don't you worry about it. I suppose you expect me to move now. Unbelievable

I said "I am very sorry - there is plenty of space, we assumed it was okay"

She walked off to 2 benches down and for the next ten minutes proceeded to tell her friend, when she came over, just how unreasonable we were

Was ibu? Is this a new rule I have missed? Could not believe the looks she kept giving us
.

You don't want to move-I don't want to walk any further than I have to.

If my sitting down bothers you-yes you move!

"I was here first"

😂😂😂😂😂😂

As per a pp I don't see that a pram "baggsies" a bench any more than sitting in a train seat renders the one next to it unusable.

@Northernladdette

Ok, one of us has misunderstood those benches!

i always thought they were a gift from the estate or family of the deceased so people could use them to rest/admire the view etc.

i mean, we do go & sit on them & think about the deceased as well as admire the view/catch our breath. But the ones we have done are for everyone to enjoy.

It doesn't render the seat unusable but it suggests the person that chooses it to sit in when there's a load of other empty seats giving more space is a bit socially clueless.

I wouldn't have sat at a bench with a pram next to it if others were available but YANBU. It's a public space and people can sit on an empty bench in a public space if they want.

She sounds rude but I can’t understand why you sat on that one when there were loads of other benches free

Or just wanting to sit down?

Generally when I get on there are people behind me & others walking towards from the other end of the carriage.

Seems easiest just to sit asap!

I don't get why you went for the bench with the pushchair, either.

@diddl if you get on a train and you see many empty rows in front of you, do you still sit down on the first row you come to even if it has a person sitting in the other seat?

What do you do in a nearly empty cinema, sit next to the other people there if they are near the first seat you get to?

Wanting to sit down and a bit socially clueless perhaps, both things can be true. Nobody wants a stranger shoulder to shoulder with them on a bus when there's an option not to be? You might want to get cosy on public transport with strangers for no reason, but most people find it weird even if they are too polite to say anything.

I would have assumed in the OP's position that a parent had been sitting on the bench cuddling a baby and had then go over to another child in the play area and so had left the pram when she walked over but had intended to come back to the bench at some point, so I would not have sat there if other empty benches

She’s on ‘her’ bench 😀

Despite the comments, with one person finding it appropriate to call OP a "fucker", the poll suggests most people don't think it's unreasonable to sit on a completely empty and unattended public bench.

The idea that the mother was going to come back and use the bench isn't what I'd have thought. I'd have figured she'd only come back either to feed (and there was still space on the bench) or because she needed the pram because she was leaving.

No I don't.

But I don't like to be too far from my luggage so I won't go too many rows down before I sit.

I also manage to sit in my seat without snuggling or being "shoulder to shoulder" with the person next to me!

It’s one of those no one is absolutely right and no one is absolutely wrong situations. People are just puzzled as to why someone would choose a bench that is likely to be occupied by someone with a baby (and maybe another child) over a totally empty seat.

@DrSbaitso if there was a jumper left instead would you sit down there?

Ah, you are one of those. Thought so.

One of what?

Never said it was my personal space. If there are loads of other seats free in a carriage and someone plonks themselves down right next to me, I do think they lack awareness and social graces.

Never said it was my personal space.

And in the same quote history:

Surely it is not hard to scan the carriage and find a seat not right next to someone (unless a busy train of course) rather than encroach on someone's personal space.

If you want to claim rights to seats that you're not sitting in, go by private vehicle. Empty seats are not your personal space.

The ones that plonk themselves down next to you in an almost empty carriage.

Just as people don't eat on Mumsnet but shovel, stuff and gorge, nor do they sit on buses. They plonk. Without social graces.

Plonk, sit, alight, take the weight off... Whatever you want to call it the result is the same.

Oh is that all?

Well yes, I tend to choose a seat that is convenient to me as I'm sure most others do.

I'm not trailing to the other end of the carriage just to avoid sitting next to someone.

And I do think that if a person wants to be alone then yes, it is up to them to find a single seat, not for me to avoid sitting in an available seat.

Rest assured though I don't strike up a conversation.

I just want to get on with my journey.

What?

That you end up sitting in an empty available seat??