That's my bench - was aibu

[Blueysmumagain]

Genuinely couldn't get over this yesterday. Appreciate its a tiny thing

Husband and I at busy park with 5 yo

Plenty of benches free. One 4 person bench with a pram next to it but no one sitting on it. No bags or coats on bench etc. An empty bench

Husband and I sit at one end. Still space for 2 other people

Woman comes over, picks up pram, and says - in the most passive aggressive tone - "that was my bench actually. But don't you worry about it. I suppose you expect me to move now. Unbelievable

I said "I am very sorry - there is plenty of space, we assumed it was okay"

She walked off to 2 benches down and for the next ten minutes proceeded to tell her friend, when she came over, just how unreasonable we were

Was ibu? Is this a new rule I have missed? Could not believe the looks she kept giving us
.

Surprised no one has asked yet- a pram suggests a baby too small to play on the playground, rather than a buggy or pushchair for a toddler. Was the baby sleeping in the pram?

I was surprised too @MrsLilaAmes it would have been extra strange if OP and her husband sat next to a sleeping baby. It certainly would set off most new mum's nonce or kidnapper alert

I'd think this too, in a busy park I'd assume pram owner was up for a minute helping older child with something.
Absolutely strange to sit at the bench with things at it when so many empty!

YABU.

And what about other people’s preference for personal space?

There are nutters everywhere. They walk among us....👀

Dont worry about it

What makes you think that strangers want to have a conversation with you. I’m sure you aren’t as fascinating as you think.

But the bench was empty!!

And maybe it was nearest the swing/slide/roundabout the OP's child was on

We won't know unless she comes back!

Yes you were , it's just odd when you could have plonked yourself down on any of the numerous other benches

But the op said plenty of other benches! Why create unnecessarily a awkward situation?

Then they can ignore her or brush her off!

It doesn't hurt to try!

I guess since you have a young child perhaps you were distracted and didn’t realise that there was a pram there until you went to sit down but even on giving you that benefit of the doubt then on noticing I’d probably have moved on to another one just to be polite.

That is seriously weird behaviour if there are other benches available though.

I do think she was OTT in her response. Personally I would have thought you inconsiderate and moved on without saying anything.

I don’t think I would have thought twice about it and I would have sat at the bench nearest where my child was playing so I could watch them and get to them quicker.
I would have probably stayed standing if someone had been sitting at it rather than sitting further away from my child.

"All of you saying that you wouldn’t sit on a bench that is also occupied by one other person. Why not? Are you especially anxious? "

I'd happily sit on a bench occupied by other people. I like a chat too. But in this case, there was no way of knowing how many people might want to sit. The pram owner might have had several children with her. Or another adult and child. I can't see any reason why you would sit there when there were other benches available...

YABU
Why sit there when other empty benches were available?
If it was me I probably wouldn't have said anything, but you would have gotten a filthy look.

You were rude of , pick an empty bench.

I hope you do read people's responses though - a lot of people don't wish to chat to strangers. I had to leave a shop the other day because some odd woman would not stop talking to me and couldn't take the hint that I wasn't interested in chatting with her and just wished to browse in peace.

That is incredibly annoying. You need to be aware of some people’s need for personal space. If there are no other options fair enough but don’t encroach on personal space unnecessarily

Well if the train stays empty then there person desperate for personal space can move.

I don't walk up & down looking for seats.

I see one & sit.

Obviously, if some scowls as I sit down, I won’t bother talking to them.
Otherwise, it’s very rare that someone doesn’t return the invite and chat away.

My friend was visiting me recently and commented that we’re much friendlier towards strangers here in Ireland, than in the south of England where she lives.

It isn’t friendly to inflict your unwanted attention on strangers.

She overreacted of course but yes v odd to choose to sit there if others were completely clear

Friendly?
Or endless unwanted inane babblers?

How selfish and entitled

There were empty benches so I would not have sat at the bench with the pram next to it. That’s just weird.