That's my bench - was aibu

[Blueysmumagain]

Genuinely couldn't get over this yesterday. Appreciate its a tiny thing

Husband and I at busy park with 5 yo

Plenty of benches free. One 4 person bench with a pram next to it but no one sitting on it. No bags or coats on bench etc. An empty bench

Husband and I sit at one end. Still space for 2 other people

Woman comes over, picks up pram, and says - in the most passive aggressive tone - "that was my bench actually. But don't you worry about it. I suppose you expect me to move now. Unbelievable

I said "I am very sorry - there is plenty of space, we assumed it was okay"

She walked off to 2 benches down and for the next ten minutes proceeded to tell her friend, when she came over, just how unreasonable we were

Was ibu? Is this a new rule I have missed? Could not believe the looks she kept giving us
.

I’m hoping this story isn’t true, otherwise I despair about the selfishness of some people. Why you would unnecessarily upset someone when you could just as easily have sat on one of the empty benches?

And why would 59% think you were not unreasonable in such selfish behaviour?

How selfish and entitled

I know right-I put my luggage in the rack, sit down as quickly as I can so that others behind me can sit.

She did sit on an empty bench.

The op makes it clear she saw it and figured sitting at one end leaving the other side free was good enough

And why would 59% think you were not unreasonable in such selfish behaviour?

The voting isn't especially reliable. Many of us are using the app where it isn't an option

People like you are known as Benidormers in this house, willing to sit right on top of another person despite acres of space around you.

It is the weirdest behaviour ever. IMO

But by that point you have probably blocked the poor person victim in, so they then have to awkwardly ask you to stand up to let them out and they have to brush past you in order to escape.

I use public transport to get to and from work, I have my customer service face fixed on all day and I have my DCs to deal with when I get home. On the ride home I want to sit and daydream, or listen to my book, I don't want to entertain a stranger.

If the train is empty, pick an empty row, don't encroach on people's personal space!

Pram lady already had a friend she wanted to talk to and was unlikely to want a strange couple joining in. Plus it wouldn't leave room for their party to sit

Ah I was meant to quote @diddl, totally with you @SnotRag81, it is selfish and entitled.

@Blueysmumagain probably one of the many Mumsnetters who only socialise by specific invitation and are weird about strangers.

So there's loads of free benches but you and your husband sit at one designed for four, with a pram beside it.
Sorry, but that's unreasonable AND weird.

You did the equivalent of parking next to the only car in an otherwise empty car park.

The etiquette is if there are lots of empty places you pick one of those, not the only occupied place!

Both a bit weird.
I'd go for an empty bench personally, but the other woman was bonkers to passive aggressively complain. She could have sat on the end of the bench, and she can't reserve it.

If I hadn't read the OP, I'd never have guessed that OP's crime was to sit on a public bench that was completely empty of anyone or anything, and just happened to have an equally empty, unattended pram by it.

(I'm assuming the pram was empty because pram lady didn't say anything about a baby, just the bench, and also shouldn't have left a baby unattended.)

Lol - saw the length of this thread and clicked ‘See all’ at the end of the OP to see if she ever returned to explain why she picked the bench with the pram next to it when there were loads of free benches. Of course she didn’t return 😂

I have to say, it's pretty weird and quite rude to sit on a bench someone else is clearly using, yes. To me, an empty pram would mean a stressed parent is probably walking with a baby to calm them down, and then you made her move, with the pram and presumably baby! Who is going to sit on a bench with strangers when other benches are free?

Surely you can see that it's rude to essentially bully someone into moving off the bench they'd already chosen because you fancy it more than the other benches?!

Selfish & entitled to use a seat when you have paid for one?

It's not as if I ever sit in someone else's seat.

As I say, when there is a queue of people behind me also wanting to sit, then I am just going to sit down as soon as I can.

I think it's selfish & entitled to expect to have two seats for yourself.

If you want that-pay for it!

You made a mistake. She was rude. That’s it.

Why pick the bench with the pram? You were both unreasonable.

I agree with this. Not really sure why you didn’t go to another bench that clearly had nothing next to it?

Well I’ll reiterate what others have said and you haven’t responded to. You said there were plenty of benches free - so you (deliberately?) choose a bench where a pram is? I can see her point in being annoyed at you to be honest, seems you were being bloody minded.

As others have said, if there were plenty of benches there was no need for you to have sat at that particular one. Yes, nobody has 'dibs' on them but to go for the one bench with signs of occupation is a strange choice.

Same😂😂😂

@diddl

You are not doing anyone a favour by sitting on the first seat, just keep walking until you get to a free row like everyone else does.

Of course you are entitled to take a seat if all the other seats are taken, but train seats are closely packed together and don't allow for a comfortable amount of personal space so to encroach on someone else unless necessary is really rude and unfair.

Would you be happy to stand on a full train if someone had paid for two seats and had thier bag occupying the other seat in the row? I bet you wouldn't, so how daft to suggest people buy two seats on a half empty train.